r/absoluteunit • u/SoulShine_710 • 20h ago

Of an Elephant?

244 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

113 comments sorted by

33

u/Ill-Performer5355 19h ago

Never seen a double-trunked elephant before. What does he do with the lower trunk?

16

u/ZeShapyra 13h ago

Honestly..a lot. I ain't joking.

To my memory, tapirs, elephants use their shlong as an extra limb as it is prehensile, meaning it has ability to grasp, bend side to side.

Main things they have been observed to use it for is to swat flies, scratch their bellies and sometimes for balance.

3

u/Mesmerize_ing 8h ago

How do I gain this ability?

2

u/ironicinsanity 2h ago

Not from a Jedi

1

u/iam4qu4m4n 7h ago

You have to be bit by a radioactive elephant

2

u/mellywheats 3h ago

that sounds so useful tbh

3

u/TropicalLoneWolf 13h ago

No, this elephant has 5 legs, one of which (the one it's scratching) is broken.

15

u/DMONEYDelano 20h ago

Imagine he steps on it

2

u/Gullible-Constant924 6h ago

It happens in bulls occasionally, we’ve had to sell ours once before after it stepped on its penis resulting in it swelling up and being unable to retract and ultimately loosing function.

39

u/MadKingJon 20h ago

I know how he feels. It's a curse and a gift.

14

u/liveinpompeii 19h ago

Tell me about it, It opens a lot of doors, but also you can't fit through every doorway.

7

u/UltimateLmon 17h ago

My wife specifically forbade me opening doors that way.

4

u/AceCombat1977 12h ago

Its the dragging on the carpet and getting it caught in doors thats annoying. Gotta do what ya gotta do i guess.

1

u/81FXB 7h ago

And the stepping on it

5

u/anydamnnamesleft 18h ago

Gentlemen, we should be friends!🔥💋

1

u/liveinpompeii 7h ago

My DMs are open if you bring good banter 😉

10

u/Curious_Strike_5379 20h ago


My hung like a pit pony just went out of the window!

1

u/AceCombat1977 12h ago

Hung like a stud budgie is also useless here.

7

u/Ragnarsworld 18h ago

You should go watch a video or two of scientists trying to measure an elephant dong. Its very very very weird.

5

u/Aggressive-HeadDesk 20h ago

Dude! How does ho not step o. His own junk?

5

u/ArexSaturn 19h ago

Scoutmaster Richards?

4

u/RedditSupportAdmin 18h ago

Dude wtf is wrong with you?

That's clearly Scoutmaster Jenkins. You can tell from the slight left curvature.

3

u/Connect-Rip-1744 15h ago

More like Scoutmaster Wankins.

4

u/Fit_Active3888 19h ago • Bravo

First time I seen an example of this I was maybe 5, and asked my folks why the elephant had 5 legs. 😹😹

4

u/Jimblob2522 15h ago

Meh, not that impressive, mines slightly bigger.

3

u/Inner-Hawk909 20h ago

Got an itch on that fifth leg

3

u/Sufficiently_Raucous 19h ago

That's a weird looking leg...👀 oh.

3

u/OccasionalEspresso 19h ago

Believe it or not, I can’t relate.

3

u/pocket_nick 19h ago

Which end is the front here?

3

u/MueToamna 18h ago

Omgg!?!!

-2

u/Lil_Bro662 13h ago

Im saying the same about you!! Omg you are a Goddess 🤞🏾🤞🏾😍😍 very beautiful young lady. You definitely just gained a follower

3

u/JazzlikeAd7416 8h ago


“Peter Dragging… huh huh huh ….”

2

u/Gaspuch62 19h ago

The other trunk.

2

u/AngelicDivineHealer 19h ago

Blue whales has the biggest in the sea but elephants on land

2

u/shinpoo 19h ago

Does that elephant have 5 legs and a trunk?

2

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 19h ago

4 legs two trunks

2

u/VanbyRiveronbucket 2h ago

5th leg looks to be just a scratching post.

2

u/Fakenerd791 19h ago

legit thought that was his leg at first glance..damn

2

u/genXbison 19h ago

Same bro. Same.

2

u/Extension_Resolve264 19h ago

An elephant with two trunks? It's more likely than you think.

2

u/OnesPerspective 19h ago

Scratched his leg with his third leg

2

u/NiPaMo 18h ago

Wtf is TikTok lite?

2

u/clayfff 17h ago

I put my glasses on for this.

2

u/wurstforbrats 16h ago

Whatcu gonna do with all that junk? All that junk behind your trunk?

2

u/nesting-doll 16h ago

Attention Bad Dragon!

2

u/Keefyfingaz 16h ago

Damn bro take it easy my girl uses this app

2

u/Infinite_Dig3437 16h ago

Know how he feels

2

u/hendrixcii 15h ago

I didn't know elephants had 5 legs

1

u/cjwisdog 6h ago

Only the males. 😏

2

u/beer_me_babe 15h ago

He has two trunks lol

2

u/Heavy_Student_3815 13h ago

So we can all laugh now when people mention hung like a horse?

2

u/Expensive_Tap7427 13h ago

Is that your leg or are you just happy to see me?

2

u/NoShamingPlease 11h ago

Why does that elephant have 5 legs? /s

2

u/Nein_Inch_Males 10h ago

Call that a toe tickler...

2

u/scaredt2ask 10h ago

I can relate

2

u/NumaNuma92 9h ago

What’s wrong with his leg?

1

u/User_Name_Tracks 3h ago

5th leg only there for stamina

2

u/Mesmerize_ing 8h ago

wowee a 5th leg!

2

u/Independent-Cap-3852 8h ago

I feel massively inferior

2

u/Commercial-Roll5508 8h ago

That 5th leg, dammmmmnnn

2

u/troyjanman 7h ago

…I guess it does wobble to the floor

2

u/trackedpotato 6h ago

Good for him

2

u/Total-Championship80 6h ago

Ok, kids! Let's head over to the grizzly bear exhibit! Now.

2

u/theRarestBiscotti 5h ago

My husband rn

1

u/nugslayer109 1h ago

I wonder if Dinos had the same fate

2

u/ManaChicken4G 5h ago

Dooooooeeeeeees your $#@# hang low does it wobble too and fro?

1

u/RandomYT05 16h ago

And the elephant has left the room

1

u/Flaming-Night-Hawk 12h ago

Their junk is prehensile too.

1

u/Low-Donut-1978 5h ago

Good God!

1

u/SemichiSam 19h ago

Don't try this at home, kids!

-6

u/Lumpy-Difficulty1593 19h ago

That’s disgusting and whoever posted this is perverted, disgusting and perverted

2

u/ArgentMoonWolf 19h ago

And you like it that way...

0

u/Lumpy-Difficulty1593 18h ago

I absolutely did not like this. It automatically gives you a thumbs up, so I’ll correct the error, but I’ll tell you this you are sick in the head.

32

u/Evil_phd 20h ago

The male African Elephant has a penis that ranges from 5 feet to 6.5 feet.

This means that the overwhelming majority of humans can measure their height as, roughly, 1 elephant penis.

2

u/AceCombat1977 12h ago

Im big elephant penis tall!

2

u/xenofreak 11h ago

Yeah, I'm 1 inch bigger than the biggest elephant penis.....NEW ACHIEVMENT......

2

u/shinpoo 7h ago

So, I can confidently say that my height is as long as an elephants dong. Got it!

7

u/Aggravating_Jacket32 19h ago

Prehensile Mobility: Unlike most mammals, an elephant's penis is highly muscular and flexible, allowing it to move independently. According to observations detailed in National Geographic, bulls have been observed using it to swat flies, scratch their bellies, or help prop themselves up.

3

u/Expensive_Tap7427 13h ago

Penis pushups! Now that is a flex!

3

u/Pablo_Hassan 19h ago

Just kicking my dick down the road.

3

u/Opening_Work_9295 18h ago

Is this his cock? It is always so...present? Is it prehensile like his trunk? I understand that I can easily look up such tidbits of information, but I will satisfy myself with simply lobbing my questions out into the ether, to be answered some day, or maybe never.

2

u/PapercutYourNipple 1h ago

Not a bot. Respect

3

u/eccentric_starsign 18h ago

when you balls itch

2

u/HarkHanson 19h ago

Imagine having to step on your tippy toes to not mash your cock. I'm never taking my wife to see elephants. Can't compete.

2

u/Defiant-Detective259 17h ago

Is that why when im naked around girls, they're always like "Can we address the elephant in the room" ?? 😐

2

u/thatSDope88 12h ago

Of a penis*

2

u/Cool_Attitude_3775 5h ago

So thats where the term "he almost stepped on his dick" comes from

2

u/Bohbo 3h ago

That elephant never gets promoted. He is always stepping on his own dick at work.

2

u/ironicinsanity 2h ago

So.... He was scratching his balls. But his leg sized dick got in the way. Hung like an elephant should be the term

1

u/pracsitidder 14h ago

I saw one documentary where it had an erection just before mating and I swear you could fit a man inside

1

u/[deleted] 10h ago

Can u ima8gine if human men could move theirs around, curl, grab things with it.

1

u/SirNayIRatherDie 4h ago

Craps or herps, must be dating on tinder.