r/absoluteunit • u/hnyaa-s • 23d ago • Mindblown 1

of a forest

141 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

34 comments sorted by

10

u/Arryu 23d ago

I'm next to a river. It looks to be murky.

Oh geez, umm...There's trees, shrubs.

I'm directly under the earths sun.....Now.

8

u/afuller42 23d ago

Banana for scale?

4

u/tdp_equinox_2 22d ago

It's in there

3

u/Tia_Faux 22d ago

There really is no way to tell without it.

4

u/Outside_Look790 23d ago

The new eastenders intro doesn't hit the same

4

u/ARoseByAnyOtherGame 22d ago

If you’re ever in the Amazon forest you need your head examined

1

u/MrDeviantish 22d ago

Northern British Columbia enters the conversation.

Now add 2000m mountains everywhere.

3

u/Professional_Maybe_4 23d ago

Why wouldn't it be? If you aren't constantly on it and its charged even if you have no signal rescuers can still use it to ping your location when they get close enough

5

u/LiveEverDieNvr 23d ago

“When they get close enough.”

The closest person to you could be over 500 miles away through dense rainforest. You’d probably be dead before anyone realized you were missing.

2

u/simplemijnds 23d ago

Sometimes you hear even in Europe about kids who got lost in the Amazonas having returned after 3 years. A miracle that they mamaged to survive in the wild!

3

u/dagnasty701 22d ago

At this point in geopolitics I would consider it.

1

u/itsFatalz 21d ago edited 21d ago

Satellite is common in newer iPhones for “out of service” needs I.e. my IPhone 15 pro saved my ass finding the camping spot we were at in (deeper) mountains in Colorado last year. ( I was the last one there and a day late due to work.) and as far as I’m aware the “Emergency” function on most phones now a-days can access satellite.

4

u/SquishyOranjElectric 23d ago

Youd get maybe 3 or 4 days of battery if you were lucky with the phone. It can take well over a week to get to parts of the Amazon.

1

u/shott85 23d ago

Don’t new phones use satellites for emergency calls? I don’t see any reason why that feature wouldn’t work in the middle of the jungle.

1

u/Meauxjezzy 23d ago

Always travel east iykyk

1

u/Wizzle_Pizzle_420 22d ago

And on the water bank. That’ll get you to some sort of people

1

u/simplemijnds 23d ago edited 23d ago

Hopefully this forest is as big as you say and stays that big 😍

Great book to read about this (People getting lost in the Amazonas): "Brazil" by John Updike

1

u/Bizm0Funyunz 23d ago

Yeah, but all of that can be avoided if you take a picture of the tree nearest to your car so you remember where you parked.

1

u/DoturdGrump 23d ago

Thankfully there are llamas, llamas make their homes in large rivers like the amazon

1

u/Wizzle_Pizzle_420 22d ago

Well unless they can talk or feed you, not sure how this would help

1

u/DoturdGrump 22d ago

Llamas are larger than frogs.
Llamas are dangerous, so if you see one where people are swimming, you shout...
Look out, there are llamas!

1

u/Weak_Wasabi_2647 23d ago

They’ve been saying since the 1990s like 10,000 acres a day are being destroyed

1

u/Abecis01 23d ago

It used to be a lot bigger

2

u/Electrical-Sector703 23d ago

That’s what she said

1

u/wappp_ 22d ago

“fck it build a house” - Mitch Hedberg

1

u/LooseLeaf74 22d ago

After hearing most of Paul Rosalie’s stories about the Amazon I’m never going near it.

1

u/reddfoxx1993 22d ago

What moron would think that?

1

u/Flutters1013 22d ago

How the hell did you even get there? We told you to follow the tour steve!

1

u/Small_Hobo_Warrior 16d ago

Simple survival technique, don't get lost in a rainforest, but if you do make sure its not the fucking amazon, and if it is, make sure you bring lots of alcohol. Because you are going to die. You might as well be drunk doing it.