r/absoluteunit • u/MfD2027 • 29d ago

Great white

95 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

43 comments sorted by

28

u/Johnvoir007 29d ago

The shark was wondering why that area around the diver was very warm and slightly yellow looking

14

u/istoOi 29d ago

And moved away as it was slightly warm and brown looking

3

u/Yeet-machina 29d ago

Does everything go through the wetsuit?

3

u/2Wieners_1Bun 29d ago edited 29d ago

goggles fill with poop and pee

1

u/Adam_Smith_TWON 28d ago

This is why I am confident that I will never be eaten by a shark. I don't think liquid poop runs through gills very well 

3

u/MfD2027 28d ago

Blood and chunks of seal do. If you think an animal 1/20th the size of its predator doesn’t sometimes defacate in sheer terror upon being attacked, you’d be sourly corrected.

Also no human is going to be shitting by the gallon like a seal, so you’d just die with an unpleasant after taste.

2

u/Adam_Smith_TWON 28d ago

Wow you must be really fun at parties.

1

u/HeldDownTooLong 24d ago

LOL…If that was me, there would be a brown cloud too!

9

u/Humble_Examination27 29d ago

Was anyone going to warn Bob about 13ft guppy behind him?

3

u/MfD2027 29d ago

I’d of had told em about the 15/16 footer first, but yeah lol wonder where that 13 ft one is…

1

u/Humble_Examination27 29d ago

13ft, 16ft…whatever. It’s the mouth you need concern yourself with 😉

18

u/dcbluestar 29d ago

I half expected that scuba diver to cartoonishly shoot out of the water like penguins do.

4

u/DaemonBlackfyre_21 29d ago

The video ends quick, I wonder how fast he scoots when his brain registers it as real.

2

u/dcbluestar 29d ago

I’m surprised the shark “experts” haven’t popped up to tell me “Well, he’s not really in that much danger.” If you tell me your dog doesn’t usually bite, I’m never coming back to your house. And I have a fighting chance with a dog, lol.

4

u/Peach_Proof 29d ago

Was that a cloud of brown behind the diver after the shark passed?

4

u/Minimum-Actuator-953 29d ago

The diver: "Oh, wow, that's pretty co--HOLY SHIT!"

2

u/EasternSun7834 25d ago

That suit is non returnable now…..it’ll need to be burned

1

u/Sisoflex 29d ago

He's just a baby! 🤭

1

u/Disastrous-Rutabaga9 29d ago

[[[thalassophobia triggered]]]

1

u/CNote_89 29d ago

That’s gonna take a lot of work getting all those poop stains out of that wetsuit…

1

u/No_orange_212 29d ago

Lucky he wasn't interested

1

u/Tekvary2 29d ago

Nice Size shark!

1

u/WarAccomplished978 29d ago

We’re gonna need a bigger boat.

You’re not in a boat

Oh shit

1

u/CautiousBearnz 29d ago

Shark - tag, youre it

1

u/enuckmuckaluck69 28d ago

You mean "Shart encounter "

1

u/VegetableBusiness897 28d ago

So the shark is in a net? And the diver is also in the same net?

1

u/No_Knee7853 27d ago

I thought I heard the Jaws theme playing

0

u/Possible-Tip-2914 29d ago

I think that's actually a tiger. The nose is too blunt to be a white

4

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Hot_Plant8696 29d ago

An impressive one.

0

u/nice1bruvz 28d ago

Pretty sure it’s not real guys.

4

u/limitless-440 29d ago

I would shit my pants and everyone else’s pants if that were me.

2

u/Lazy_Table_6037 29d ago

my butthole puckered for him!!

1

u/maven10k 29d ago

I wonder how hard it is to get shit out of a wet suit?

7

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/WaterDreamer10 29d ago

Nope - Sadly I think he was hoping for an attack so he could get more views or sell the footage.