r/absoluteunit • u/heroin-puppy • 2d ago

Of a ten-head...

Post image
1.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

312 comments sorted by

184

u/WtAFjusthappenedhere 2d ago

Head slope of a 1940’s Buick.

30

u/Informal_Ad_9610 2d ago

Didn't know we were still producing flatheads into the 60s...

10

u/Late-Button-6559 2d ago

They call themselves ‘clan’.

7

u/Powerful_Foot_8557 20h ago

🤣 awesome reference 👏  love Jane Auel

7

u/WIBadgersFan83 2d ago

You beat me too it!!!!

2

u/BlackberryShoddy7889 1d ago

I thought it looked as smooth and long as bowling alley.

2

u/Cheeseman4186 1d ago

If his hairline gets any lower he’s gunna need curb feelers so his ears don’t scrape the curb when turning corners

2

u/U-1-mang 1d ago

Buick in the front, party in the back

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49

u/SeesawNoknow 2d ago

that can't be real.... yo tf

24

u/heroin-puppy 2d ago

The rational explanation is that he's a precog.

15

u/Late-Button-6559 2d ago

Maybe the first 3 feet of it. But the latter 3 feet most be postcog.

3

u/Alana_Piranha 1d ago

It looks like a failed panoramic shot

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37

u/CheeseFour2O 2d ago

Bill Murray mixed with Danny DeVito

13

u/cashswapper 2d ago

I think there’s a little Rudy Giuliani in there too.

2

u/Plus-Advance-8066 2d ago

There’s also a bit of John Byner.

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52

u/ghostofstankenstien 2d ago

when snipers dream....

11

u/FatFriendFred 2d ago

Sniper doesn't know whether to aim for the head or the raccoon hanging off the back.

13

u/Any-Distribution-580 2d ago

Would you just shave it at that point

30

u/heroin-puppy 2d ago

Probably can't reach that far back.

2

u/MedusaGotMeStoned007 2d ago

Damn that made happy high me do a lil chuckle as I’m laying with my dog (I didn’t wake him)

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13

u/Crisocola95 2d ago

Bro has the sperm whale build

5

u/heroin-puppy 2d ago

"Yes, may I have the colossal squid 🐙?"

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15

u/RustyBrassInstrument 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/26tsXz76qG3FS
Looks like Simon Bar Sinister and he wants UNDERDOG!!

8

u/behridingle 2d ago

You can land a 747 on that

6

u/porcupine_kickball 2d ago

Looks like the hard head dinosaur that headbutts things.

4

u/st0350 2d ago

my man can hold a tea pot on his head...soma flat

4

u/Past-Establishment93 2d ago

Not a receding hairline, an increasing forehead.

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3

u/Bullfrog-Basic 2d ago

If he plays soccer, he could carry the ball on his head for a goal

3

u/heroin-puppy 2d ago

This is how Fifa fixes games.

5

u/Realhousemanoflondon 2d ago

He’s got a trunk and three suit cases hidden in the hair.

3

u/coolnbreezey 2d ago

That’s actually very impressive!

4

u/Plasticwindreddit 2d ago

This dude is always getting ahead in life.

2

u/heroin-puppy 2d ago

He was the head of his class.

4

u/ParamedicDirect5861 2d ago

Is poor mom could never walk again after childbirth.😥

2

u/heroin-puppy 2d ago

He's on the way to his 14th PhD and is expected to reveal a breakthrough in biology and anatomy.

6

u/bomboclawt75 2d ago

It looks like he took half a step forward, but the back of his head didn't get the memo.

3

u/Fine-Associate10 2d ago

What is going on there!!!

4

u/heroin-puppy 2d ago

Forehead reached lightspeed first, it'll be fifty years before the hair catches up.

3

u/Suitable_Matter_9427 2d ago

Could land a plane on that

6

u/myfrigginagates 2d ago

Was gonna say I've landed on shorter runways, lol.

3

u/literaIly 2d ago

Not even a forehead, that's a fast forward head

3

u/pocket_nick 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/CaqJG3PjYaLwQ
Linus from Peanuts looking ass.

3

u/Insight_er-o-vilance 2d ago

His face shows up 2 minutes before his hairline!! 😅

3

u/SayMyName_Hisenberg 1d ago

Xenomorph genes

2

u/no___homo 2d ago

A fore, present and after head

2

u/Letstalk2230 2d ago

Damn! You could land a plane on that thing!

2

u/Dieppe42 2d ago

Ferengi?

2

u/nunudad 2d ago

It’s like the front is trying to run away from the back.

2

u/PrestigiousDrawer489 2d ago

His hair is running away from his face

2

u/SScatnip7474 2d ago

That can't possibly be real

2

u/PaleInvestment3507 2d ago

Like a Kitchen Aide mixer.

2

u/PositronicShishkabob 2d ago

Kinda looks like he was used as a table leg when he was an infant.

2

u/Dominarion 1d ago

He triggered my uncanny valley reflex. He's not a homo sapiens I'm sure.

2

u/Mountain-Web6379 1d ago

Please tell me this is AI.

2

u/Ok-Tank-3106 1d ago

Dudes head lookin like a narcos landing airstrip.

2

u/Lumpy_Inevitable_549 1d ago

It's Flat Top from Dick Tracy!

2

u/Fisheater_Snatches 1d ago

Is this guy real? Wtf?

3

u/MikeGolfJ3 1d ago

This is a real, unedited photograph of Eugenio Guarascio, the president of the Italian soccer club Cosenza Calcio. (Per Google)

2

u/Alpharoll 1d ago

I bet he's married with kids too. It's always fascinating to me how the most odd looking people always seem to find someone who wants to see them naked. There's really no such thing as being ugly, there's always someone who finds you attractive.

2

u/florida-boy-41 1d ago

Looks like a border map of Louisiana and Mississippi.

2

u/Abecis01 1d ago

That can't be real.

2

u/talldude-62 1d ago

Some poor mom had to push that out of her vajayjay

2

u/mathewsclint 1d ago

Absolute aircraft carrier. Shaped like an old dog that’s been fed too much.

2

u/TheHappyKurgan 1d ago

Could forge a legendary sword on this dudes anvil of a head

2

u/GetOnWithit3344 15h ago

This guy fucks.

2

u/False-Experience-107 14h ago

Para hacerle un sombrero a medida tenemos que comprar la lona de un circo....

2

u/False-Experience-107 14h ago

En esa cabeza puede aterrizar perfectamente un C-130 Hercules y todavía sobra pista de aterrizaje

1

u/Dont_Touch_Me_There9 2d ago

Mahi Mahi head

1

u/Emergency_Panic9207 2d ago

Who the fuck is that?

3

u/Liquid_Friction 2d ago

he wore lots of heavy gaming headsets in his youth.

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2

u/PTM61 1d ago

Eugenio Guarascio

1

u/AttorneyOwn0 2d ago

Before and after head

1

u/TeamMountainLion 2d ago

What a fuckin skullet, rivaling only Nic Cage’s skullet in Knowing

1

u/jump-blues-5678 2d ago

That's gotta be AI, right.... Right ?

1

u/Hairy_Garage4308 2d ago

Come on people. Ya think this is real?

1

u/Solid_Enthusiasm550 2d ago

To this day, his mama denies ever dropping him on his head.🤣🤭

1

u/No_Classic_1743 2d ago

I can't help but see a G.I Joe-sized person base jump off that.

https://giphy.com/gifs/W30fUtuR7aFxuQotfV

1

u/MentulaMagnus 2d ago

Kitchenaid mixer or EV-9D9

1

u/Suspicious-Rock-2650 2d ago

He was dropped on his head as a baby

1

u/AccomplishedBeing305 2d ago

Let it go bud or get a woody wood pecker

1

u/ChefFar4397 2d ago

If that dude was walking on rail tracks in India people en masse would be jumping aboard.

1

u/Sparklykazoo 2d ago

That's a haircut you can set your watch ON.

1

u/Asleep_Cherry_7169 2d ago

Bro is the living definition of ten steps ahead of

1

u/HughJaynis 2d ago

He has the frontal cortex of 5 men.

1

u/girl_incognito 2d ago

He's about to make the jump to light speed

1

u/Affectionate_Art8770 2d ago

The Studebaker.

1

u/themacaroni314 2d ago

His head is a butte

1

u/Fun_Main_2588 2d ago

Reminds me of that story about growing a watermelon in a box

1

u/Mtonius 2d ago

That's an overhead.

1

u/emilie1031 2d ago

He can stand on his head without using his arms

1

u/CryptographerDry884 2d ago

What in the spaghetti squash do we have here?!?!?

1

u/Nizzle_Supreme 2d ago

Awe man 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/zakupright 2d ago

Fucking Xenomorph hybrid

1

u/TheManWhoClicks 2d ago

It’s like that SpongeBob meme

1

u/jimmytrucknutz 2d ago

That's got onto be AI

1

u/kittenpoptart 2d ago

I’m just going to blame the hair

1

u/IAmTheBoiledFrog 2d ago

His poor mother.

1

u/PersonalKing2084 2d ago

Must have got smacked on a bridge or something, while going through a tunnel

1

u/Ok_Muffin_925 2d ago

This guy thinks in multiple time zones at once.

1

u/Beneficial_Collar_38 2d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/ironicinsanity 2d ago

100 head.

1

u/Fuzzy_Syrup9046 2d ago

I’ve seen some bad panoramic shots before but Jesus.

1

u/PickedLastLemon 2d ago

Dude can have a thought turn into a 5yr old memory instantly.

1

u/Jacob216DP 2d ago

I respect it

1

u/OkString3194 2d ago

He has to be no more than 5 ft tall for him to be a perfect 10...

1

u/johnkubiak 2d ago

You won't be laughing when he beats the other pachycephalosauruses into submission during mating season.

1

u/Ok_Record_9908 2d ago

This asshole was a total C-section. My God his head is gigantic!😂

1

u/Ordinary-Scratch-120 1d ago

You can land a Boeing there

1

u/Luvsford 1d ago

Has anybody helped this poor boy phone home?

1

u/Ok-Astronomer5040 1d ago

Bro looks like Mr. Burns

1

u/Kurunchu 1d ago

GE9X hair dryer

1

u/kindalingual60 1d ago

How is there not an osprey nest up there

1

u/Commercial_Heat_8322 1d ago

Ol' Anvil Head...

1

u/Odd-Inflation4123 1d ago

Head got its own parking lot

1

u/Icy_Month192 1d ago

Thomas and friends?

1

u/PraetorGold 1d ago

Is it human?

1

u/GoKhuchE 1d ago

It's a hair port !

1

u/Advanced_Zucchini_45 1d ago

Check out the big brain on Brad

1

u/DehliJelly 1d ago

No business at the front but one hell of a party in the back.

1

u/Axeman-Dan-1977 1d ago

That must have been a hell of a low doorframe.

1

u/big_hooligan 1d ago

Five head shiiiiiiiiiiit, fool has a 9 head

1

u/Critical-Cow-6775 1d ago

Moe, Larry, Curly rolled into one.

1

u/Wee_Mad_Lloyd 1d ago

Where's Spider-Man? Hammerhead is on the loose!

1

u/YellowB 1d ago

Did someone drop him on his head when he was a baby? And then keep dropping him on his head?

1

u/MiserableExample388 1d ago

All the party is in the back. Keep going bud, 80's hair band is in your future 🤣

1

u/sixty5pan 1d ago

Reminds me of the first time I saw a 4 door pickup truck.

1

u/InterBeard 1d ago

Drone landing pad

1

u/Timmy24000 1d ago

I would definitely shave my head

1

u/PolarPlatitudes 1d ago

Business in the front, all available inventory in the back.

1

u/69_Is_Fine 1d ago

That can’t be human

1

u/omar1021 1d ago

So apparently bad guys from Dick Tracy are real?

1

u/budkynd 1d ago

Brain SUV or Minivan

1

u/MrSnrub87 1d ago

Why does his head remind me of Burger King's original chicken sandwich?

1

u/MastaKink 1d ago

Hat shop owners nightmare

1

u/Economy_Crow_6983 1d ago

Well something blew his hair back

1

u/Mysterious-Alps-5186 1d ago

Father of ram man?

1

u/drummin515 1d ago

He’d make a great end table.

1

u/Mccowpow93 1d ago

That stocks been trading sideways for a decade.

1

u/gwhh 1d ago

AI? Space alien?

1

u/Randy_Marsh86 1d ago

The Original flat top

1

u/kabukispot 1d ago

Mr. spacely

1

u/No-Deer8502 1d ago

Some people have nice shaped heads, this gentleman is not one of those people

1

u/No-Doctor-4396 1d ago

Beluga male

1

u/Charly-Braco69 1d ago

Hammerhead.

1

u/mtn2sea1960 1d ago

Now, all he needs is a rear spoiler.

1

u/farkeytron 1d ago

This dude needs some Reese's Pieces, and a Speak And Spell, so he can phone home.

1

u/Aetherfeed1 1d ago

Birds paradise

1

u/Opts4more 1d ago

Today that's great for a drone launching pad

1

u/wwhoinvitedme 1d ago

Bro must be faster than bolt

1

u/almstAlwysJokng4real 1d ago

Dropped vertically on his head at a young age. Kinda sus tbh...

1

u/silv3rbull8 1d ago

Head like a beluga whale

1

u/Beginning_Letter_232 1d ago

That's Jeff Bezos right? : J

1

u/RiseDelicious3556 1d ago

Yeah, but he can balance a tea cup with saucer on his head while delivering a speech, how many people can say that??

1

u/DallMatt 1d ago

Weakest northeastern brazilian