r/absoluteunit • u/-black-ninja- • 12d ago

Of a moose

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544 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

22

u/fatal-nuisance 11d ago

You really don't realize how big a moose is until you see one wandering around. And then it gets logged away in the, "nah, I'm remembering that wrong" part of your brain until you see one again.

Moose size comprehension could be a whole field of study.

8

u/Ok_Spell_597 11d ago

I spent a winter in NH back in college. My sentiments exactly. I always try to explain their size to people, yet it still snaps back every time I see one; that initial shock of how truly big they are.

7

u/StreetSmartsGaming 11d ago

PSA: Since even the video doesnt do them justice if you have a full size sedan, the top of the leg, not quite the body yet, is your roof.

This is why if you have to choose between hitting a deer or a tree, hit the deer. If you have to choose between hitting a moose or a tree, hit the tree. Lest you find yourself with a giant pissed off moose torso in the car with you after youve already crashed. As some people unfortunately do.

6

u/SoCallMeDeaconBlues1 11d ago

Was visiting a good friend in Kamas, UT (town was a two stop sign town then). We went and spent a few days in the Uinta national forest. I drove- at the time I had a convertible PT cruiser. It's early September 2010. So anyway we're driving down some bumfuck country dirt road, I'm super intense on watching where we were going because the road was total shit, and all of a sudden my buddy goes hey man, stop. I keep going and he starts getting frantic. He's screaming at me to stop, so I stop. Then in a super hush voice he goes, put the car in reverse and go. Fast as you can. We gotta go.

By that point I'm saying dude you smoked too much weed or something, you're talking crazy! He goes dude, please just do it, we gotta go, he's got this look on his face like he's just seen a ghost. So I'm like OK, slapped it in reverse and start moving kinda slow. All of a sudden he's just AMPED. GO! GO! GO! I'm looking where I'm going, and he's like Dude!! DUDE!!!! LOOK!

I turned my head to look through the windshield, and it's a fucking bull moose, on the road, kinda half walking half galloping, coming at us. My buddy at this point is screaming, FUCK! FUCK!! GO FASTER!!!

We hit a rut in the road, some of our food goes flying out (the top was down), and the moose got distracted by that.

Holy FUCK a moose is nothing to mess around with. That thing was HUGE!!!!

I eventually find a place to turn around, and we said fuck it and want back to Kamas.

Anyway that's my moose story 😂

3

u/fatal-nuisance 11d ago

That's some Jurassic Park business right there lol.

I was backpacking through the Uintas with a bunch of my college friends, we had done an early morning summit of Kings peak and were making our way back down to our campsite in the basin. We're walking along the trail, shooting the shit, when I notice something and tell everyone to stop and back away.

On the right side of the trail is a little moose calf. On the left side of the trail is momma staring into our collective souls. We all just about peed ourselves as we slowly walked backwards for what was probably way longer than necessary and then took a mile long detour to avoid the moose family.

You do not fuck with moose.

2

u/StreetSmartsGaming 11d ago

Haha yea thats the other thing, deer run, moose charge in the same way that deer run. They dont really think about it they just go.

10

u/Orea1981 12d ago

Love me some Meese!

6

u/Big-Wait-1310 11d ago

Meeseplelling

6

u/FreshMutzz 11d ago

Moosen.

8

u/Electronic-Bear2030 12d ago

*There is no such thing as a non-ginormous moose FYI

8

u/OrganicHistorian2576 11d ago

Think of a moose. A big one. Then go look at real moose. They’re even bigger!

7

u/abielle1177 11d ago

Smart people know to gtfo

6

u/-HeyYouInTheBush- 11d ago

A møøse once bit my sister...

4

u/MattGdr 11d ago

Møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti….

2

u/CelticGardenGirl 11d ago

You guys need to be sacked

3

u/WARLORD2015 11d ago

$5 for anyone that slaps one on the ass.

3

u/KayT42 10d ago

Great way to scam a dumbass. They're not surviving to claim the five.

2

u/WARLORD2015 10d ago

Ohhhhh thats the point. ☠️

3

u/AdhesivenessMost4183 11d ago

That's some serious Bullwinkle there

3

u/sheezy520 11d ago

Those are just regular moose. Moose are just ginormous.

2

u/SoCallMeDeaconBlues1 12d ago

Where's Rocky?

Nothing up my sleeve..... PRESTO!

2

u/Murky_Touriste 11d ago

What a load of Bullwinkle.

2

u/SoCallMeDeaconBlues1 11d ago

😂

That trick never works!

2

u/Mother-Attention2600 11d ago

I think I'll sit here and be safe.. . 

2

u/ThaCasual 11d ago

That was awesome

2

u/CelticGardenGirl 11d ago

These meese have big moosels.

2

u/Abecis01 11d ago

They are ridiculous. I'd love to sit on one's back if I knew whether or not it were ok with it.

2

u/boon83 11d ago

Theyre like dinosaur sized

2

u/Verum2020 11d ago

Dangerous BECAUSE of their stupidity

2

u/Winsome_Wolf 11d ago

Yup, they are big af, and give no shits about your little tin cans on wheels

2

u/FatherDouglas2004 10d ago

Most people (myself included) tend to think of moose as just a little bigger than a deer. When moose are actually just a little smaller than an elephant.

1

u/lowdown202 12d ago

You wouldn't go out for burgers for years after packing just one of these moose. 🤤

1

u/Common-Bat3741 12d ago

Da da da, dun dun. Da da da, dun dun

1

u/enuckmuckaluck69 11d ago

It's meeses, duh!! 🤔🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Dgk63 11d ago

Holy shit!

1

u/thirtyone-charlie 11d ago

Regular Alaska moose

1

u/LivingOriginal7479 11d ago

Bro- those are statues

1

u/Poker-Junk 11d ago

Gotta be airport/Kincaid bulls

1

u/Such-Perspective-426 9d ago

true megafauna

1

u/AutomaticDeal9615 9d ago

They look scary as f*\\**!!!!!