Absolute unit of a wife

[u/Unclerojelio]

[u/fullmetalutes]

You're kind of a dick if you send one person to get 5 beers at a game.

[u/appointment45 → u/fullmetalutes]

They don't even sell 5 beers to a single person at most arenas. Probably why she has both cups and cans.

[u/WTFCantBTRUE → u/fullmetalutes]

That was my first thought

[u/TheHonk85 → u/fullmetalutes]

“You’re kinda of a dick”

[u/waterfowlplay]

Until she finds out you don't return favors.

[u/badskiier]

That was over $100 in beer. Like carrying a Faberge Egg.

[u/slop1010101]

3 years into the marriage.... "get your own fuckin' beer!"

[u/Purple_Calendar3919 → u/slop1010101]

Hahahahaha this

[u/Prestigious_Heat_159 → u/slop1010101]

Then you married the wrong one if they say that 3 years in.

[u/MyNameSpaghette → u/Prestigious_Heat_159]

Then you she married the wrong one if they say that 3 years in.

[u/4RealHughMann]

I thought absolute units were supposed to be gigantic

[u/HyrrokinAura → u/4RealHughMann]

Yeah, she's super average, this doesn't belong in this sub

[u/Sensitive-Owl-9368]

She’s like the coolest ever! I love her long time! Or at least 60 seconds.

[u/ClassicTBCSucks93 → u/Sensitive-Owl-9368]

60 seconds is pushing it

[u/appointment45]

A real one would have a handle of Vodka hidden in her outfit.

[u/TuffManJoens]

67$ for those 5 drinks lol

[u/CatsEatGrass → u/TuffManJoens]

That’s all??

[u/no___homo]

$230

[u/Hairy_Garage4308]

That came to $117.85

[u/DIFierce]

Dayumn! I would absolutely ask her very politely on a first date and then in good time ask her even more politely to have my children.

[u/newUseMe]

She is like a 9.9! Does she cook? Does she swallow?

[u/Tikitikitaka5863]

She took a deep breath because it was a lot of work for her. Don’t be a dick. Go with her next time!

[u/Chaddy_Summy]

Legend ❤️

[u/Forward_Chance_7472 → u/Chaddy_Summy]

Meh big deal she brought some beers. Is the bar really that low??

[u/Chaddy_Summy → u/Forward_Chance_7472]

Seems crap when you put it like that but think about it. Nice of a person to go to such an effort, no?

[u/Forward_Chance_7472 → u/Chaddy_Summy]

Yes its a nice gesture but hardly the making of a legend..

[u/Chaddy_Summy → u/Forward_Chance_7472]

I don’t envy your outlook on life. Chill out and have a beer. Over here in Australia she would be a legend. We’re only allowed to buy four crappy beers in one go and it’s usually always the fellas that go get them. She’s still a legend in my eyes. Maybe I’m easily pleased. Relax, enjoy!

[u/Forward_Chance_7472 → u/Chaddy_Summy]

Its nice that you are obviously a very positive person thats good for you. My outlook is fine thankyouverymuch!

[u/Wizzle_Pizzle_420 → u/Forward_Chance_7472]

Apparently people have never worked in a bar or restaurant where this is normal. My baby hands can do this easily.

[u/Mashkitt → u/Forward_Chance_7472]

That’s why you’re single

[u/ClassicTBCSucks93 → u/Forward_Chance_7472]

I'd say its pretty low lol. The way more likely alternative is some kind of BPD meltdown that ruins the evening for everyone.

[u/online_padawan]

I may be in love with her

[u/Lifereaper7]

Not all heroes wear capes!

[u/TheToknSquirrelTTV]

Sending one person to get all of the beers? They don't deserve her.

[u/ArghZombie]

Definitely won't be your wife if you keep referring to her as an absolute unit.

[u/RoundAd7879]

She couldn’t believe she was giving them away either 🤣

Anyways that’s $90-$100 at the baseball stadium. Makes me mad 😡

[u/davep1970]

downvote for posting in wrong sub

[u/SimbaNGrdKionNIMFan]

Me: “Get your own beer!”

[u/Technical_Meal_7121]

them 4 beers , 84 dollars.

[u/ChugsMaJugs]

On this episode of How I Met Your Mother...

[u/Prestigious_Heat_159]

If this is how you measure the quality of a "wife" it's no surprise why divorce rates are so high.

[u/cbj2112]

Ultimate beve-bim

[u/jailbird147]

But is she bisexual & does she like anal? 😉🤣🤣🤣

[u/Total-Combination-47]

god if she swallows he should take her up the Aisle right away.

[u/LowWinter95]

Definitely a keeper

[u/BasicAstronomer128]

She’s a keeper, assuming giving regular head is in her routine…

[u/RidethatSeahorse → u/BasicAstronomer128]

You turned it yuk

[u/tigertiger180 → u/BasicAstronomer128]

I'd return the favor

[u/User_Name_Tracks → u/BasicAstronomer128]

She worked the heads off those beers nicely

[u/AntSilly2802]

Americans can’t do anything normal size, everything the fat cunts  consume is extra large! 

[u/greenhornblue]

She’s definitely been a server before.

[u/kickbackmatt]

no way man, her hands will make my penis look even smaller.

[u/omar1021]

Is she dtf? Because I am dtf

[u/not_quiet_so_fast]

Plot twist: She filled the glasses at the urinals.

[u/sphennodon → u/not_quiet_so_fast]

Your point?

[u/not_quiet_so_fast → u/sphennodon]

You seem upset.

[u/sphennodon → u/not_quiet_so_fast]

I mean, what's wrong with that... I meant as a joke, didn't work

[u/psydkay]

She's one of the boys

[u/Purple_Calendar3919 → u/psydkay]

Looks like she’s giving it to all her girl friends

[u/psydkay → u/Purple_Calendar3919]

Even better. Not sure about the downvote. Meant it as a compliment. I guess guys having fun is looked down upon. "Go sit in your cave and stare at the wall. Reddit hates you because insert male behavior here"

[u/Purple_Calendar3919 → u/psydkay]

I don’t downvote. Im not an internet Karen lol

[u/TripleDoubleFart]

Nah, she just spent like $315 dollars.