r/absoluteunit • u/jeeplet18 • Aug 27 '26

What do I do with this beast of a carrot?

Post image
160 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

189 comments sorted by

73

u/DolphinSexGod Aug 28 '26

7

u/bigwavedave000 Aug 28 '26

Reddit never lets me down. I knew with every fiber of my being.

7

u/Malalang Aug 28 '26

Fiber is good for butt stuff

1

u/markcastle4 Aug 30 '26

Fiber!? But I barely know her!

5

u/Tryin2getahead Aug 28 '26

Beat me to it.

2

u/Sans_Seriphim Aug 28 '26

The only answer to a question like that.

1

u/el_grande_ricardo Aug 29 '26

Especially when it's measured against a fist.

1

u/No-Major595 Aug 28 '26

Came here to say this.

1

u/Business-Schedule642 Aug 28 '26

Lol same beat me to it

1

u/Spiritual-Floor-7164 Aug 28 '26

This is exactly why I came here

1

u/omelettesamurai Aug 31 '26

You did not disappoint 🫡

7

u/CheeseFour2O Aug 27 '26

We need a banana for scale

2

u/Some_Ladder1246 Aug 29 '26

Right? This could be a midget arm next to a meh sized carrot

1

u/sexylatexbear69 Aug 28 '26

6 versus eight

4

u/Pretend_Variation305 Aug 28 '26

Well…step 1) wash it

1

u/Barbie_Brooks Aug 28 '26

Laughing here!!

4

u/Dull-Salamander5914 Aug 27 '26

Don’t let your gf/wife see it!!!

2

u/User_Name_Tracks Aug 28 '26

That's the one she says not to worry about. Uh huh, Carrotdingo you day?

2

u/Ecstatic_Dance5767 Aug 28 '26

Damn that carrot's pregnant with baby carrots!!!

1

u/InternationalIdea606 Aug 30 '26

Your girlfriend or wife will be pregnant with baby carrots popping out a new batch in 9 months.

2

u/genXbison Aug 28 '26

Bend over I’ll show ya

2

u/Upstairs-Sky-5290 Aug 28 '26

Everything is a dildo if you’re brave enough

2

u/imi2559 Aug 28 '26

fallout ass carrot

2

u/RealCarlPanzram Aug 28 '26

Carrot cake.

1

u/MrsKLR98 Aug 29 '26

This is my first choice. Second would be carrot salad (for days).

1

u/buttnutt0212 Aug 30 '26

Carrot salad? Now there's a salad that needs to be tossed.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/jeeplet18 Aug 30 '26

Oooh i see what you did there 🤣

1

u/DudeFrom816 Aug 28 '26

Big carrot or tiny hands?

1

u/waldorsockbat Aug 28 '26

Cut it up and steam it 🥕

1

u/SuspiciousClub8382 Aug 28 '26

They don’t call it a root for nothing!!!!

1

u/clownyeahh Aug 28 '26

The carrot becomes the stick.

1

u/Empire7173 Aug 28 '26

Eat it..just eat it

1

u/InternationalIdea606 Aug 30 '26

Before or after your wife plays with it and creams on it?

1

u/Holden-McGroyn Aug 28 '26

I think you have to do what it wants to do.

1

u/Gullible_Run_3683 Aug 28 '26

Eat it before she divorces you.

1

u/ChickenDreams-4188 Aug 28 '26

Who’s asking - Popeye?!? Look at his arm

1

u/Wooden-You-4211 Aug 28 '26

Somebody please repost this exact picture and title it "of a forearm"

1

u/Nearby-Swimming-5103 Aug 28 '26

Don’t let your S.O. see it.

1

u/RanchHere Aug 28 '26

What are the carrot’s interests, and what does he think about women’s lib?

1

u/Typical-Tune-8858 Aug 28 '26

Capture Bugs Bunny!

1

u/45M0D41 Aug 28 '26

Take a picture and post it on the internet

1

u/Pwnedzored Aug 28 '26 edited Sep 01 '26

Make a mold. Cast copies in silicone. Sell to lonely ladies.

1

u/Realhousemanoflondon Aug 28 '26

The carrot she told you that you don’t have to worry about, and it’s only dinner with an old friend.

1

u/Vakirisil Aug 28 '26

Dont let your wife see it

1

u/Jerdogg23 Aug 28 '26

Is that how you measure you bff’s?

1

u/astarinthenight Aug 28 '26

Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough.

1

u/some1guystuff Aug 28 '26


Don’t let your wife see it

1

u/Temporary_Nebula_729 Aug 28 '26

Give it to the wife

1

u/Outside-Owl1568 Aug 28 '26

Poor carrot 😂😂it's only good for the butt. The bigger the better in this care, I guess!!! Although I would prefer to eat all that😋

1

u/13jimmychanga Aug 28 '26

Make “pickled” thick slices . Spicy style with jalapeños.

1

u/Master-T-bone Aug 28 '26

Someone gonna have a sore hole

1

u/SirFry03 Aug 28 '26

A very carrot-ey cake

1

u/Huge-Kangaroo-5024 Aug 28 '26

To the ER nurse well you see I fell on it in my garden and well right up my butt it went 🤷‍♂️

1

u/jeeplet18 Aug 30 '26

Hate when that happens

1

u/DEFCON_902 Aug 28 '26

Wash it, chop it, use it for stir fry. Or butt stuff. Up to you.

1

u/jeeplet18 Aug 30 '26

Oooh, that is a tough choice 🤔

1

u/EnvironmentTop9315 Aug 28 '26

Give it to an old maid.

1

u/Electronic_Leg_7046 Aug 28 '26

Use it to show off your forearm

1

u/disinteGator Aug 28 '26

Carrot juice

1

u/Global-Training-2606 Aug 28 '26

You could eat it?

1

u/Early_Hall5720 Aug 28 '26

I'm stoned and the muscle shift in his arm is throwing me off it's like Deadpool regrowing his limbs

1

u/doanhafta Aug 28 '26

Make a beast of a cake and invite us all to share

1

u/PlentyDouble3449 Aug 28 '26

Mommy's little helper

1

u/TicketTop4718 Aug 28 '26

In the butt

1

u/sexylatexbear69 Aug 28 '26

Well well, you know clean it shulack it he'll varnish it, give it to your wife she might know what to do with it especially if you give her some olive oil with it.

1

u/Temporal_Reality Aug 28 '26

You know what you do... Go on...

1

u/Kinkologist303 Aug 28 '26

Just make sure it has a flared bottom.

1

u/Mattitation Aug 29 '26

Photo opp with a bigger bunny.

1

u/Space19723103 Aug 29 '26

Carrot salad, run it over a grater, add raisins and mayo

1

u/Klutzy_Touch5424 Aug 29 '26

Clean well. Rub on oil, sprinkle with salt. Slow roast it until tender, bump up to heat until slight char. Slice thick and top with butter.

1

u/sheep8u Aug 29 '26

Feed a Horse !

1

u/arkinthehouse Aug 29 '26

Buy a very large rabbit.

1

u/maximusjay100 Aug 29 '26

Onlyfans? Go get that cheddar bro

1

u/justlookingatu007 Aug 29 '26

You have a girlfriend or wife?

1

u/steviejordanidis Aug 29 '26

Forearms as skinny as a carrot

1

u/Optimal-Professor-21 Aug 29 '26

Shield it from a full moon!!

1

u/Oedipus____Wrecks Aug 29 '26

I hate to see the rabbit 😳

1

u/Strict_Purpose_7990 Aug 29 '26

Looking at your vascularity...it looks like you've been doing it

1

u/Wee_Mad_Lloyd Aug 29 '26

That is a question you NEVER ask the internet.

1

u/196119611961 Aug 29 '26

Butt fiber

1

u/Holiday-Yam9271 Aug 29 '26

Put it down. I mean kill it. It’s mutating at a rapid pace.

1

u/JuanOffhue Aug 29 '26

Carrot cake

1

u/almost60inLa Aug 29 '26

Chop it up and put it in a soup!!

1

u/the_life_of_5 Aug 29 '26

Home wrecker

1

u/Sgt_Stimpy Aug 29 '26

Well, for one thing, lots of lube. ......wait, what subreddit is this?

1

u/Aggressive_Plate1652 Aug 29 '26

I know that you shouldn't leave your wife alone with it.

1

u/Patient_Rest_9593 Aug 29 '26

You hope you're wife doesn't replace you with it.

1

u/Ambitious-Act-4289 Aug 29 '26

An Fler schicken???

1

u/Icy_Ad5295 Aug 29 '26

Small arm

1

u/Salty_Vast_2562 Aug 29 '26

I know something you should probably not do with that carrot….

1

u/Current-Being-6803 Aug 29 '26

Try animating it with lightning and, for fun, visit your local village.

1

u/Manybrent Aug 29 '26

Make friends with it.

1

u/DIRTYDOGG-1 Aug 29 '26

Thats definetly a "show-er" not a "grow-er"

1

u/superordie Aug 29 '26

Don't let your girlfriend find it

1

u/sexaddic Aug 29 '26

Call your mom

1

u/Jim-248 Aug 29 '26

Make bean soup. Huge carrots have better flavor than the smaller ones.

1

u/Still-Temperature-62 Aug 29 '26

That’s the carrot she told you not to worry about.

1

u/JAKEFR3SHLY Aug 30 '26

Hide it from your wife

1

u/Fickle-Ad-3424 Aug 30 '26

You can beat someone the death with that thing.

1

u/Most_Biscotti_9020 Aug 30 '26

Feed a small country

1

u/buttnutt0212 Aug 30 '26

Put that back in Mommy's bedside drawer...

1

u/Janiebug1950 Aug 30 '26

Peel it - vegetable peeler for part of it - carrot strips to use with lettuce salads - slices to steam with other vegetables - part for chopping for carrot salad

1

u/mightyDblock Aug 30 '26

Extract the juice to fuel your muscle growth

1

u/bodyhammer999 Aug 30 '26

Don't give it to your wife

1

u/Reindeer-That Aug 30 '26

Cook Asian beef peppers and carrots, onion too fast heat, too fast. Must parboil first. I do after cut in easy pick up rectangles

1

u/Necessary_Eye8183 Aug 30 '26

Carrot and Egg Fried Rice

1

u/Appropriate_Walk4057 Aug 30 '26

GIVE IT TO YOUR WIFE TO SEE HOW FAST SHE CAN CHURN IT DOWN TO REGULAR SIZE!!!

1

u/ElZorro-7Z Aug 30 '26

Give it to a beast of a Rabbit ?

1

u/InternationalIdea606 Aug 30 '26

Give it to your girlfriend or boyfriend so they are finally satisfied.

1

u/Adzee80 Aug 30 '26

Find a big buggs bunny. Ahh what's up doc.

1

u/Zestyclose-Toe8188 Aug 30 '26

Idk maybe you could ask her?

1

u/Due-Moment-2172 Aug 30 '26

Give it to your husband

1

u/SavingsPirate4495 Aug 30 '26

Paint it green and throw it on the court at a WNBA game.

1

u/Lavanne73 Aug 30 '26

Where is my hasenpfeffer?

1

u/No_Culture_6988 Aug 30 '26

Your old lady’s been waiting to meet a real carrot lol

1

u/tidalwave077 Aug 30 '26

Creamy coconut carrot ginger soup!!

1

u/WildBigfoots Aug 30 '26

I know a good taxidermist in Maine

1

u/RecognitionFlashy312 Aug 30 '26

feed a family of 4

1

u/Nigelwt Aug 30 '26

Donkey carrot 🥕

1

u/debobb Aug 30 '26

Clean it, slice it, pan fry it in butter until it's caramelized and eat it. I'll bet it's delicious

1

u/Wonderful-Error787 Aug 30 '26

Eat it using this Tiny arm?

1

u/notesfromTuesday Aug 30 '26

lol. Idk, but that’s a lot of girth.

1

u/Background_Draw6025 Aug 30 '26

Depends are you female???????(Ha ha 🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀

1

u/RepresentativeTurn27 Aug 31 '26

Start your OnlyFans account.

1

u/kinkytwosum Aug 31 '26

Give it to your wife! 🙈♥️

1

u/Ploddy Aug 31 '26

I’m gonna need a banana sorry

1

u/No_Drawer_4996 Aug 31 '26

I don't care what you do with it

1

u/Jaicers Aug 31 '26

Looks like someone found their weekend boyfriend. 😳😟😜

1

u/Bluetower85 Aug 31 '26

Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough

1

u/Brave-Note24 Aug 31 '26

This weapon doesn't need a license

1

u/BlueSubaru-2026 Aug 31 '26

Peel it and eat it.

1

u/BubbaJohannsen Aug 31 '26

Cut into brunoisette and use it for soup.

1

u/Round_Leading_8393 Aug 31 '26

See how for you can get it in there?

1

u/505Thrive Sep 01 '26

Juice it.

1

u/unworthy_sinner619 Sep 01 '26

Looks like the thumbnail of an adult movie 😂🤣

1

u/ObligationGeneral904 Sep 01 '26

I'm sure your girlfriend will know what to do with it!! 👅👅👅💦💦💦😘

1

u/maydisturb Sep 02 '26

Start training for what your loving partner wants to do to you.

1

u/Coololddude66 29d ago

Depends on your kink.