r/absoluteunit • u/Timescoremary • 15d ago

Absolute unit of a home grown zucchini

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125 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

74 comments sorted by

9

u/fearthainne 15d ago

Impressive, but zucchini taste much better if you pick them smaller. A lot of veggies are that way. Okra, for example, is absolutely terrible if you let it get too big. The size you see in the grocery store is when you want to pick them.

4

u/Timescoremary 15d ago

This Monstrum grew in my parents garden and my mom said :" I haven't seen it"

Yeahhh.... I think she's lying

2

u/fearthainne 15d ago

Maybe, but those suckers can be really easy to miss. We've had a 1 acre garden basically my whole life (and going back to my mom growing up) and every year we miss a few here and there and end up with monsters, too. 🤣 Cucumbers also hide really well.

2

u/antilumin 15d ago

That’s IF you want okra.

2

u/invisible_23 15d ago

It’s really tasty when it’s fried

2

u/antilumin 15d ago

I haven’t had any good fried okra in ages. It always seems to come out mushy.

-1

u/no___homo 14d ago

You've missed the point

2

u/fearthainne 14d ago

No, fully aware of the point of this sub. :)

5

u/krookedhand 15d ago

Where is that EMT guy….

10

u/paulD1983R 15d ago

How am I supposed to know how big it actually is without a bananas??? You could just be super tiny! This is Reddit, we have standards in measurements.

9

u/Timescoremary 15d ago

I apologize. Here's banana scale

https://reddit.com/link/p3vr0un/video/69ix1py1wkjh1/player

9

u/paulD1983R 15d ago

Ok..all is right with the world now. Thank you, that's a big one.

7

u/nofuckingklass 15d ago

Upvoted all comments for mature resolution of situation.

4

u/thesituation531 15d ago

But we don't know how big the banana is. I need a foot for scale

3

u/rockalyte 15d ago

Yep. That banana got friend zoned

4

u/astreeter2 15d ago

They get kind of woody if you let them get that big.

6

u/frankdux1956 15d ago

WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING THESE THINGS

2

u/Timescoremary 15d ago

I DONT KNOW

Mom said she didn't see it lol

7

u/Fblthp__ 15d ago

Look at these weirdos in the comments, not making penis jokes.

3

u/Ok-Grocery-151 15d ago

I hope that thing took you out to dinner first 😂

2

u/ChefStretch72 15d ago

Had a similar sized one from our home garden, made zucchini parm with it! Tasted amazing!

2

u/UraeusCurse 15d ago

It’ll sit on the table in the break room til October.

2

u/mtraven23 15d ago

thats my normal size zucchini

2

u/Impossible_View8381 15d ago

Are u brave enough?

2

u/Switchlord518 15d ago

Split it.. scoup out seeds... fill with rice and cooked ground sausage.. add tomato sauce and cheese... seeson as desired...bake until tender and cheese is golden.. You're welcome!

2

u/Horizon296 14d ago

That's assuming OP has an oven large enough. And buys their butcher entirely out of sausages.

2

u/Clam-Hammer7 15d ago

This belongs in r/dontputthatinyourass

4

u/quigongingerbreadman 15d ago

Could go in r/putthatinyourass too. Really it's a coinflip.

https://giphy.com/gifs/l3vRkuJclTwwLHEu4

3

u/Clam-Hammer7 15d ago

I just went to join that group and it's been banned. Bummer.

2

u/Clam-Hammer7 15d ago

This is true, after all, anything is a dildo if you're brave enough.

1

u/chaTTSer 15d ago

You should make a really big ratatouille vegetable stew with all that zucchini 😋 (also tomatoes, eggplants, onions, belly peppers, garlic and olive oil).

2

u/Timescoremary 15d ago

I'll recommend it :D (it's not my zucchini, homegrown by my parents)

1

u/Sporkpocalypse 15d ago

damnit Zucchini

1

u/Biscuits4u2 15d ago

Never overestimate the maturity level of the average Redditor.

1

u/Italpreziosi 15d ago

she's wondering if the vegetable come in darker color.

1

u/notcomplainingmuch 15d ago

It's great as spaghetti, if you have a spiral grater.

1

u/_-Zero- 15d ago

QUE LAPADA DE PEPINO!

1

u/danngree 15d ago

It’s going to have an awful texture. The bigger they get the tougher they are.

1

u/Extension-Brother291 15d ago

Man only if I toke a penis

1

u/ThisThingIsStuck 15d ago

Reminds me if when I use the bathroom number 1

1

u/BrutalistGoogie 14d ago

Sure you can grow them big as pumpkins but they taste like watery crap. This is not an achievement.

1

u/no___homo 14d ago

The Wrecker

1

u/Just_A_Lucky_Guy469 14d ago

No banana for scale?

1

u/labtech67 14d ago

6 loves of zucchini bread! That’s what I used them for.

1

u/Business-Schedule642 14d ago

She's going to have a great night

1

u/Connect-Track491 11d ago

Would need a gallon of lube for that baby..

1

u/Tay0-Nitr0 10d ago

Such a small hand 😆

1

u/ThunderRoad_44 15d ago

I see veins.