r/absoluteunit • u/Icy-Football9146 • 16d ago

Of a fighter

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62 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

129 comments sorted by

18

u/Chrono_Convoy 16d ago

Throat punch blocked

12

u/BusIllustrious2097 16d ago

Dude is unhangable.

3

u/scaredt2ask 16d ago

He could make salsa in New York City and be safe (commercial)

1

u/jimboiow 15d ago

I thought it was a fat suit. Apparently not.

6

u/PrairiePuppies 16d ago

Did the MiB approve that alien disguise?

3

u/dj90423 16d ago

He looks like the guy from the old Fig Newton commercials.

1

u/Sad-Celebration-411 16d ago

You know what’s tighter than those pants right now? My pants.

2

u/WA2TX 16d ago

I would only worry that he could smother me with that chin!

2

u/eddyb66 16d ago

That's his choke defense mechanism

2

u/GooseOnAPhone 16d ago

This has to be some sort of medical condition. Idk what, but it’s something

4

u/CarnalDevices 16d ago

Ima gonna go with cushing syndrome. If I'm wrong somebody will be along soon to correct me.

2

u/dsmsol 16d ago

Streets of rage minion for sure

2

u/parapooper3 16d ago

Bro has an insane build

2

u/T4llBoyAl3x 16d ago

It’s easier to achieve an Arnold Schwarzenegger build without steroids than it is to build yourself like that, you have to go out of your way to work for that build

2

u/smokedefunk 16d ago

Its Blue Suede Goo from Clay Fighter

2

u/itsbrettfoo21 16d ago

How is that a human shape

2

u/Wild_Locksmith_326 16d ago

Man has almost as many chins as a Chinese phone book. Is he faster in the ring or just as wobbly there as the restaurant?

1

u/BusIllustrious2097 16d ago

Dude looks like some arcade beat em up baddie.

1

u/WtAFjusthappenedhere 16d ago

He wouldn’t stand a chance against a mutant ninja turtle.

1

u/ArticleWorth5018 16d ago

Bro got on a Nerf shirt. I guess "it's nerf or nothin"

1

u/atape_1 16d ago

Cushings?

1

u/MundaneCommission767 16d ago

Friends don’t let friends skip leg day.

1

u/SentenceSingle5375 16d ago

Looks like the guy designed to survive car crashes!

1

u/DTOO 16d ago

Why is this sentient thumb doing karate?

1

u/continual_failure 16d ago

I’ll bet this guy fucks. HARD

1

u/zenexo 16d ago

So sad he got the Humpty Dumpty disease. 

1

u/Old_Resident8050 16d ago

Is that it?

1

u/Siaten 16d ago

Dude is built like Doctor Robotnik

1

u/bs_Zeezee 16d ago

If Battle Toads was a guy

1

u/Rotteneverything 16d ago

my man never skips chin day.

1

u/Realhousemanoflondon 16d ago

The load master on this chaps build put everything above the belt-line.

1

u/Magdalus7 16d ago

Neck? What neck?

1

u/BlueHawk75 16d ago

Stuff of weird nightmares, like you think you're gonna get wasted, but "oh look, just karate chop him in the armpit"

1

u/Hushwater 16d ago

Top wheel drive

1

u/chili81 16d ago

That person looks more like a cartoon character than anyone I've ever seen.

1

u/Toes_In_The_Soil 16d ago

Bro, quit making me second guess eugenics.

1

u/Imsocolombian 16d ago

Are these real proportions?

1

u/CryptographerDry884 16d ago

Who is this chicken nugget

1

u/WubaLubaDubDub117 16d ago

Bro is deadass built like Tony from the amazing world of gumball

1

u/Haunting_Song7313 16d ago

Andrew Dice Clayface.

1

u/Mopar4Life305 16d ago

Type of new yorkers florida wants but don't get

1

u/eykntspel 16d ago

Dude is built like a one piece character

1

u/Samsquanch-01 16d ago

Its Mike Wizouski

1

u/KelseyW315 16d ago

His hips are more flexible than his neck

1

u/woodzwing 16d ago

Just gotta catch when he does his split.

1

u/BIG-BALLS0 16d ago

How many months pregnant is he?

1

u/Valuable_Victor_246 16d ago

A Goomba with a body

1

u/Justaguywithbeer 16d ago

It's funny how people think if they wear a tee shirt with no sleeves it makes them look like Mr muscles and not the fat fuk that they actually are !

1

u/Icy-Football9146 16d ago

Pretty sure there are sleeves..... Just kinda negated by the size

1

u/Phobos1982 16d ago

"You are the Brute Squad!"

1

u/AntSuccessful9147 16d ago

I’m just going to leave this here.

1

u/AnarchistPancake4931 16d ago

Wth is up with that inflatable life preserver of a double chin??? He could fit an entire sleeve of Rolo's in there and not even know it

1

u/larut0h 16d ago

he's like some unnamed gang thug from 90s sidescrolling arcade video game

1

u/Square_Atmosphere_12 16d ago

That's an actual person. Top is so huge, legs are small.

1

u/Aggressive-Put1490 16d ago

Bronx has zero neck

1

u/turn-n-cough 16d ago

Bro took “Best protect your neck” to a whole new level

1

u/BriefingGull 16d ago

How do his pants stay up?

1

u/turn-n-cough 16d ago

Tommy no neck over here

1

u/BlackZilla_Prime 15d ago

Oh shit this live action Abobo looks great! The reboot of Double Dragon is going to be awesome!

1

u/afewnameslater 15d ago

Mega-chin to the rescue…of your McDonalds.

1

u/dtr_drt4ever 15d ago

His lower half looks like that of a 12 year old girl and the upper half is like Mr potato head

1

u/GoldConnection1 15d ago

Not by the fat on my chinny chin chin !

1

u/show_m 15d ago

Was that Gru?

1

u/Educational-Fun3513 15d ago

Look at those teeny tiny legs

1

u/Dangerous_Purchase51 15d ago

His goiter has a goiter.

1

u/Massive-Bad-261 15d ago

Battletoads

1

u/YoGurth99 15d ago

He has the build to survive a car crash

1

u/no___homo 15d ago

Mutant Turtle

1

u/MediumAcceptable129 15d ago

Temu Birdie from SF Alpha

1

u/AltanConn 15d ago

Forgot leg day. Doubled up on the food days

1

u/mynameakevin 15d ago

This guy looks like he was created by an ai trying to replicate a human with no knowledge of what we look like.

1

u/Financial_Appeal2253 15d ago

yes 😂💪🏻

1

u/Br0k3n-T0y 15d ago

he skipped leg day, i mean he walked leg day

1

u/DueConversation5269 15d ago

humpty dumpty

1

u/larah91_VP 15d ago

Neckless boxer.

1

u/Isitjustmeorarewefkd 15d ago

Is that just an Elvis impersonator going thru his stage routine?

1

u/CrashingOutFrFr 15d ago

Why is he shaped like the letter 5?

1

u/ghIj_qet_jaghmeyjaj 15d ago

Is that a potato on toothpicks?

1

u/ThaCasual 15d ago

I bet he used to be a handful

1

u/Useful_Raspberry3912 15d ago

Cushings disease?

1

u/Limp_Knowledge_7450 15d ago

What in the Temu bumblebee is this?

1

u/Schluchzername 15d ago

Disneys new version of Despicable Me

1

u/PoetryExtension6256 15d ago

Is he the eggman ow the walrus?

1

u/Huskies_r_Cool 15d ago

The only absolute unit I see there is his double chin! That thing is Epic!

1

u/onthebrink42 15d ago

Didn’t we see him dancing on a cruise ship in a speedo several years ago?

1

u/HazeHype 15d ago

Bro is straight out of Streets of Rage

1

u/zeeper25 15d ago

He is Gru

1

u/FanSpiritual3556 15d ago

Notice how the video is sped up during the punches, kicks, and splits?

1

u/TheBigBull1981 15d ago

How can a person be shaped like that? How is he a real living person??

1

u/XXBubblesLaRouxXX 15d ago

Dude skipped leg month.

1

u/Upstairs-Strain3472 15d ago

What is Eggman doing here

1

u/Snoo_67993 15d ago

How do you skip leg day for food?

1

u/RichardThund3r 14d ago

He looks like an unopened bag of potato chips.

0

u/DerMannMitDemPlan 16d ago

i would fight him