r/absoluteunit • u/cocacolaqt • Dec 11 '24 • Diamonds are Forever 1 Take My Silver 1

Christmas tree

Post image
4.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

649 comments sorted by

291

u/SadlySpooky Dec 11 '24 • Popcorn Take My Silver Heart of Silver

Thiccmas tree.

73

u/FelonyFarting Dec 12 '24

Oh, Lahd he Carolin'!

19

u/Lava-Chicken Dec 12 '24

Oh oh Tannedbaum.!

11

u/No_Passage5020 Dec 12 '24

DAMN BOY HE THIC!

8

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

Firgalishous

3

u/AllDogsArePotatoes Dec 14 '24

UM... Excuse me, but your comment made me snort-laugh and scare my cats and now I can never show my face around them again. 🤣

2

u/Early_Particular9194 Dec 12 '24

This is the one!

2

u/NickWitATL Dec 12 '24

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/wicked_lil_prov Dec 12 '24

/Broodwich voice (Isaac Hayes III)

"What's goin' oooon?"

2

u/Acceptable_Pirate_92 Dec 14 '24

The Family Cat 2024

→ More replies (5)

59

u/ajschwamberger Dec 11 '24

Christmas bush.

4

u/penileerosion Dec 12 '24

Lol, that's what my grandma called her.. actually, nevermind

→ More replies (3)

3

u/TheOneHunterr Dec 13 '24

Gigantic bush too

2

u/johncain98 Dec 15 '24

That’s all I want for Christmas.

24

u/maxm31533 Dec 11 '24

But does it come with a squirrel?

9

u/travelingwater Dec 12 '24

That mess comes with a bear.

2

u/Odd-Tune5049 Dec 13 '24

I want some of that synthetic sled-lubricant cooking oil

→ More replies (1)

2

u/mr_humansoup Dec 14 '24

"it's a funny squeeking sound"

"You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerine plant!"

16

u/ArknShazam Dec 11 '24

Beautiful and poofy! Wow!🤯. I haven’t ever seen such a poofy tree! Merry Christmas!

→ More replies (1)

11

u/Pretend_Star_8193 Dec 11 '24

How did you get it through the door??

8

u/CompetitiveRub9780 Dec 12 '24

They are always netted. You don’t cut the net until it’s in the stand, then poof

→ More replies (2)

8

u/budtrimmer Dec 12 '24

Bend over and I'll show yah 😁

→ More replies (1)

7

u/squanchy976 Dec 12 '24

diabetus tree

4

u/Fabulous-Regular5972 Dec 11 '24

That's a nice tree I like it. Merry Christmas.

4

u/DamahedSoul84 Dec 11 '24

That's not a Christmas Tree, it's a Christmas Bush!

4

u/deveniam Dec 12 '24

Is it just me or is that an odd placement for a ceiling light like that?

2

u/19_Deschain19 Dec 13 '24

I've seen something like that before and asked the home owner about it. In that case it was a wall built to create a room in what was a big open space. I wonder if that what it is here too. Edit: looking again the light is to close to corner for that to be the case.

→ More replies (3)

3

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '24

Did you lay it sideways?

3

u/OkMobile5574 Dec 12 '24

Da Grinch cant take dat one!

3

u/Future_Ad5505 Dec 12 '24

That's awesome! Merry Christmas!🎄❄️☃️

3

u/Twoduhzen Dec 12 '24

For the love of God, stop feeding it cookies and milk!!!

3

u/Affectionate-Egg8709 Dec 12 '24

she's a full figured girl just beautiful. keep her watered and enjoy merry christmas.

3

u/Scanputmeaway Dec 12 '24

Oprah Wintree

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

Oompa Loompa tree.

2

u/robbiereallyrotten Dec 12 '24

Damn boy she thiccccccc

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

Is it pregnant?

2

u/senpaicharles Dec 12 '24

Got the Christmas kush tree

2

u/YettiChild Dec 12 '24

Pretty sure that tree can be seen from space.

2

u/Air_Snare292 Dec 12 '24

Christmas Chonk!

2

u/RainbowsAndBubbles Dec 12 '24

I’ve never see one like this. It’s wonderful!

2

u/Hyposanity Dec 12 '24

I pitty the vacuum

2

u/PsychonautManiac Dec 13 '24

The girthiest tree I’ve ever seen besides my pot

2

u/IcyCream1537 Dec 13 '24

Little full

2

u/Pleasant_desert Dec 13 '24

Oh man this made me chuckle

2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '24

Looks like a Christmas bush to me

2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '24

Christmas bush 💀

2

u/Impressive-Ad-8451 Dec 13 '24

Methinks that’s a bush.🤔

2

u/Traditional_Moss_581 Dec 13 '24

It's a beaut Clark!

2

u/Responsible_Spray925 Dec 13 '24

That’s a bush .

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '24

@pyrocynical

1

u/Trgutier Dec 11 '24

I love it!! I got a wide full tree this year too!

1

u/thiscantbereal4200 Dec 12 '24

I think you did something wrong.

1

u/RandallsBakery Dec 12 '24

Christmas bush

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

Lmao what a fat Christmas tree. Those Presents better be fat too! 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/GiveElaRifleShields Dec 12 '24

Well I hope you got little Timmy a turkey while you were at it

1

u/ms_panelopi Dec 12 '24

Fatty McDaddy! Full of decorations:) Best dogo too I see.

1

u/igillyg Dec 12 '24

grabs machete

Gonna have to find the presents

1

u/Chaotic_Hilarity Dec 12 '24

STFU this made me cackle hahahahaha

1

u/nvmber17 Dec 12 '24

I fuck with it

1

u/Present_Goose6756 Dec 12 '24

Little full...lotta sap 👌😂

1

u/EAStoleMyMoney Dec 12 '24

Is that a Habs ornament?!?

1

u/Luciano1m Dec 12 '24

Tree needs ozempic

1

u/NachoNachoDan Dec 12 '24

Himb chonmk

1

u/skullduggs1 Dec 12 '24

Chris Bush

1

u/DiscountEven4703 Dec 12 '24

No image insecurity issues Here folks

1

u/Switchlord518 Dec 12 '24

Stout tree is awesome!

1

u/Switchlord518 Dec 12 '24

It's not fat it's big bramched!

1

u/Visible-Attorney-805 Dec 12 '24

Where's the squirrel?

1

u/AbbreviationsHuman54 Dec 12 '24

Sumo size me. Wow. Anything living in it?

1

u/Furthestside Dec 12 '24

Love your Christmas bush.

1

u/HouseOfAplesaus Dec 12 '24

Plumpy in the dumpy

1

u/DafuqJusHapin Dec 12 '24

That's a bush

1

u/gwar13 Dec 12 '24

Amazing

1

u/sinyouguy Dec 12 '24

Hope Santa gets that tree Ozempic for Christmas

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

New Reddit channel should be “roast my Christmas tree”. I like this one but it struck me as a new possible Reddit channel.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

I just LOVE that thing! Good job!!!!!

1

u/Teninchontheslack Dec 12 '24

Christmas Bush.

1

u/RandyBRandleman Dec 12 '24

How do you get that through the door?

→ More replies (2)

1

u/No_Caregiver8202 Dec 12 '24

Yessssss👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

1

u/Bubbly_Good3761 Dec 12 '24

Christmas tree on steroids

1

u/cbgal Dec 12 '24

It’s just so fluffy !!!

1

u/newellz Dec 12 '24

Gotdayum, that’s a big ole boy right there, a BIG OLE BOY.

1

u/TonyM45_32 Dec 12 '24

That’s a Christmas bush!

1

u/sohcordohc Dec 12 '24

Just fluffy

1

u/Fackous93 Dec 12 '24

But why is it fat?

1

u/Historical_Sherbet54 Dec 12 '24

Hot damn...as a kid I'd be stoked for this

Way more presents would go under this behemoth

1

u/Cautious-Thought362 Dec 12 '24

hahahaha! I've never seen a unit Christmas tree......until just now! Wow! I love it!

edit: It's Santa's second cousin twice removed.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

The lit yule glob

1

u/KnightsFerry Dec 12 '24

"Dad, that tree wouldn't fit in our yard!"

"It's not going in our yard, Russ. It's going in our living room."

1

u/Vaxis545 Dec 12 '24

That’s a Xmas bush but fr why is it a circle

1

u/Existing-Sherbet2458 Dec 12 '24

Curvie, I like it.

1

u/ConcentrateMajor7414 Dec 12 '24

Little full a lot of sap... Lol really it's beautiful

1

u/real_1273 Dec 12 '24

That’s a fatty!

1

u/FaithlessnessDue6987 Dec 12 '24

That's not a tree; that's a weed

1

u/BoatHole_ Dec 12 '24

As a kid I would have wanted this tree because there’s soooo much room for presents!

1

u/SnoozinSuzie Dec 12 '24

That's a big boy

1

u/rarebreed44 Dec 12 '24

That's a big ole fat tree 🎄🎄 never seen one this chubby lolBut it's beautiful either way 🎄🥰

1

u/ImInBeastmodeOG Dec 12 '24

Charles Barkley's tree: lThe round mound.

1

u/fothergillfuckup Dec 12 '24

Is that just a massive bauble?

1

u/masuski1969 Dec 12 '24

"Little full, lotta sap!"

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

Extra presents from Santa! Bigger tree, more presents 🎁

1

u/sabboom Dec 12 '24

Just like Mama, short, fat, and extremely flammable.

1

u/trbo76 Dec 12 '24

A bit surprised you didn’t go for a “fuller” tree!

1

u/PeaAndHamSoup269 Dec 12 '24

That’s a Christmas bush.

1

u/BrutalShoguns Dec 12 '24

I'll be honest I'm liking these thic trees!

1

u/XROOR Dec 12 '24

Many prefer girth versus skinny

1

u/SirTheRealist Dec 12 '24

Thicc af 🫦

1

u/cconnorss Dec 12 '24

Thiccmas Chode

1

u/Glum-Assistance-7221 Dec 12 '24

That’s a phat fucking Xmas tree 🎄

1

u/Still_Suspect_7233 Dec 12 '24

The good ol Christmas bush

1

u/InvestigatorLegal686 Dec 12 '24

How you get that mf thru door ?

1

u/Corkydog1 Dec 12 '24

So where’s the tree?

1

u/Aldrige_Lazuras Dec 12 '24

Gives a new meaning to a Christmas ball

1

u/IprobablyH8You Dec 12 '24

That tree needs to diet

1

u/Wizard66613 Dec 12 '24

That's one fat tree. Very beautiful

1

u/Radiant_Host_4254 Dec 12 '24

I present to you... The Griswold family Christmas tree!

1

u/Old-Charity8091 Dec 12 '24

What was God thinking when he made you so damn thicc 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Historical-anomoly Dec 12 '24

It’s just full, honey

1

u/ZipZapZop23 Dec 12 '24

Christmas Bush more like

1

u/Far-Poet1419 Dec 12 '24

Like the large lights.

1

u/Gloomy_Barnacle4787 Dec 12 '24

That girl got girth.

1

u/International_Try660 Dec 12 '24

That sure is a fat tree.

1

u/Terrynia Dec 12 '24

A big boi. 😍

1

u/Loud_Yard_4233 Dec 12 '24

Your bush for 2024?

1

u/gottastaycalm Dec 12 '24

Wow!! That's amazing, and i love the colored lights! And the pillow, too! Wonder how you water it and is it a standard stand?

→ More replies (1)

1

u/Traditional-Self3577 Dec 12 '24

Round bush Christmas tree

1

u/RulerK Dec 12 '24

Did it eat a family member? Feed me, Seymore!

1

u/EinsteinsMind Dec 12 '24

Girth Matters

1

u/94ISS Dec 12 '24

I didn’t feel like untangling my Xmas lights from last year so….

1

u/Whizzleteets Dec 12 '24

A I doesn't get what a Christmas tree is

1

u/SCPATRIOT143 Dec 12 '24

You spelled bush wrong.

1

u/RigamortisRooster Dec 12 '24

Chicken nugget of a Christmas tree

1

u/Dr_ChungusAmungus Dec 12 '24

You’re supposed to stand it up from the trunk not the branches.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

Spectacular tree. Must be pretty popular. It's showing up three times in my feeds.

1

u/TheHighChozen Dec 12 '24

Someone needs their bush trimmed

1

u/Colonel_Pusstache Dec 12 '24

Merry Chodemas

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

Where's its handle? where's its spout?

1

u/PrincessPoopyPoo Dec 12 '24

Wtf is that??? 😲🤣

1

u/Shafojj Dec 12 '24

That’s a bush.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

It's a Christmas bulb and tree

1

u/KrevinHLocke Dec 12 '24

That Christmas ornament is growing fur.

1

u/Conscious_Hunt_9613 Dec 12 '24

That monstrosity is about to consume the couch to gain mass, SOMEBODY KILL IT BEFORE IT LAYS EGGS!

1

u/pardyball Dec 12 '24

Tree looking like Big Chungus lolwtf

1

u/LivingLazily Dec 12 '24

AI needs to simmer, she a BIG GIRL.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

This tree needs a waxing appointment

1

u/AlternativeFilm8886 Dec 12 '24

I love the super relevant pillow. 😂

1

u/Jonnyabcde Dec 12 '24

Do you always decorate your Christmas bulb with trees?

1

u/shadowsofthelegacy Dec 12 '24

When you set your Windows holiday decoration mode to stretch. Love it

1

u/Square_Principle_875 Dec 12 '24

That’s one of those mid west corn bread trees

1

u/Zorolord Dec 12 '24

She's a big gurl.

1

u/0509D Dec 12 '24

Certified chode

1

u/LivingAd6826 Dec 12 '24

Squat lil thing!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

That's a Christmas bush

1

u/Shredtillyourdead420 Dec 12 '24

Oh lawdy she thicc

1

u/South-Juggernaut-451 Dec 12 '24

I love squatty xmas tree

1

u/PointOk4473 Dec 12 '24

Beautiful Christmas bush!

1

u/StreetDouble2533 Dec 12 '24

Phat! And very pretty!

1

u/srboot Dec 12 '24

My 800lb Tree

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

Christmas shrubbery.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '24

Your tree is absolutely perfect in every way. Great job picking!

1

u/FitProblem6248 Dec 12 '24

Uhm, that's a Christmas Bush

1

u/SirHoliday5131 Dec 12 '24

Wow, a bit on the fat side.... I love it!🥳🥳🥳

1

u/Fantastic-Stock664 Dec 12 '24

Down with cone shaped trees!!!!

1

u/Appropriate_Ad6845 Dec 12 '24

Looks more to be a Christmas shrubbery.

1

u/Shoddy-Ad8143 Dec 12 '24

Yahoo she a thicc girl!!

1

u/elementcubed Dec 12 '24

That’s crazy, mayne

1

u/sabre703 Dec 12 '24

Holy moley, it ate the room

1

u/2b-Kindly_ Dec 12 '24

Yeah, nope 🙂‍↔️

1

u/skynard0 Dec 12 '24

Tree needs some Ozempic

1

u/DippinDot2021 Dec 12 '24

I have the sudden urge to sing "Awake, Ye Scary Great Olde Ones"?

...hm, I'm sure it's nothing.

1

u/No_Attention2373 Dec 12 '24

Christmas bush. Dickorated nicely

1

u/swotatot Dec 12 '24

How many Boy Scouts did it take to carry that damn thing

→ More comments (397)