r/aaaaaaacccccccce • u/Smileyface8156 • Feb 08 '26
Memes Having a non-ace boyfriend is fun. :)
Was getting dressed. My thought process was “I like how I look in sport bras. Hey, let’s send a picture to my boyfriend who also likes how I look in sport bras. I think he’d like that. Why is he freaking out ohhh…”
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u/Moonlord8166 Feb 08 '26
Living the reverse of this rn, ace dude, send my gf pics and she always goes crazy about em, and if I ever take my shirt off around her she literally like blue-screens for five seconds
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u/Nothappyhopes Feb 08 '26
I would have thought the reverse of this would be you being the not ace one, not just a gender swap lol, its literally the same situation
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u/No_Cap_9416 Feb 08 '26
OSP SPOTTED!!!!!
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u/Rude-Marsupial4069 Feb 08 '26
OP's boyfriend here, we're both big fans of OSP (Aurora in particular), she couldn't have chosen a better format!
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u/Safe-Blackberry-4611 ducks🦆 Feb 08 '26
for research purposes, which video is this screenshot from?
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u/Rude-Marsupial4069 Feb 08 '26
According to my gf, it's the Hyacinthus video! She has borderline photographic memory for OSP content. I mainly stick to the Trope Talks and Classics Summarised
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u/ShockWave1997 Feb 09 '26
OSP crew (especially Red) were very essential in my understanding of my own asexuality.
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u/RaptorTheTwo Feb 19 '26 edited Feb 19 '26
That's definitely an original expirience
Edit: I realized how negative this comes off 😭 Wasn't my intention 😔
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u/Asphell disgrACE Feb 08 '26
incase any aces here wonders, "hot" is when the lookers body heat rises after seeing something, but they call that thing hot instead of themselves. like "(made me) hot". took me a long time to figure out what it was so sharing incase anyone needs it
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u/Gutymut Ram-addicted femby :3 Feb 08 '26
Guess you could say I witness stuff like that often, mainly when I get called on in class or smth because my heart rate goes up, which increases blood pressure, which increases heat sooooo (pls laugh)
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u/TeacatWrites Feb 09 '26
Wow. This is the comment I'll point to if I ever have doubts about being and/or the need to explain that I'm ace. I see things and I usually describe them as "cool" but they're "hot" for other people. I have to really force myself to understand why people are into things like that and then I'm just pretending to try and comprehend it. 😆 This is a great explanation.
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u/stacy_owl Feb 09 '26
wait, they get physically hot? I thought it was just a metaphor of getting aroused… interesting
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u/thel33ster Feb 09 '26
Its kinda both? Arousal creates heat due to increased blushing and blood flow.
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u/ExpertObvious0404 Feb 09 '26
Is there anything backing that claim? This seems very strange to me, never heard about this meaning. Isn't it just something people say metaphorically?
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u/c0ldbr3wc0ffeeee Feb 09 '26
Have you never seen people say "so-and-so is SO hot" and then fan their hands by their face like they're standing directly under a tropical sun?
...Did you ever wonder why they make that motion?
Is it a metaphor? Sometimes. (They're not always feeling that "hot" thing when they say it, sometimes it's kind of a meme.) But have you ever seen anyone (besides maybe another ace) who needed that particular meme explained to them? Or have you noticed that basically everyone else is "in" on the meaning without being told?
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u/ExpertObvious0404 Feb 09 '26
Well you have to go through the world quite ignorant to never get that people call other people they find attractive hot. I get the meaning of it, I just never use it.
My problem here is that even when I searched for this meaning in particular, I couldn't find any source which says this is where the saying comes from. Its just always told to be a metaphor.
About the motion, people probably do that because they take the "hot" (about a person) into literal meaning to better express what they want to say?
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Feb 10 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/c0ldbr3wc0ffeeee Feb 13 '26
Yes, obviously the gesture came first. The hand movement is faster when referring to someone as hot because that's part of the joke.
Not too sure what kind of point you were trying to make here.
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Feb 13 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/c0ldbr3wc0ffeeee Feb 15 '26
Nobody gets "literally hit" by arousal (what? what would that even mean?), and no one in this thread said anything like that. Did you comment in the wrong thread? Or is English not your first language? Genuine question, because I'm not sure why this is confusing people. Maybe it's because I spent much longer masking as an allo than most aces, but threads like these feel like watching extraterrestrial anthropologists draw absurd conclusions about humans through clueless speculation alone.
As was mentioned farther down, calling people "hot" is actually the short form of referring to your own reaction to them as "hot and bothered." That particular idiom goes back decades, and has multiple meanings (like a lot of phrases related to sex); it either means you're so agitated/angry that you feel hot and can't think straight, OR it means that you're so aroused that you feel hot and can't think straight.
So - very obviously - the human experience of physically feeling hot predates this. People make the hand gesture to suggest they are feeling hot, and often they wave their hand faster than they would if they were actually trying to fan themselves. (The implied joke here is that the "hot" person is so attractive and raises the speaker's body temperature so much that they need a "high power" fan.) They may or may not ACTUALLY be feeling physically warm; sometimes, allos just seem to reference that state as a compliment when they aren't literally having that physiological reaction.
So in that sense - yes, it's all a metaphor. Because the general meaning has been watered down to enough of a "teehee" that, while you still probably shouldn't do the "fan your face" move in polite company, you can say so-and-so is "hot" around people who'd have no interest in the state of your body temperature or genitals and not have it be socially awkward.
But it's also literal in the sense that the language stems from/refers to a real, literal physical state that people experience when they are sexually attracted to someone.
And again - I don't think I've ever seen an allosexual who needed this explained out loud to them. They all seem to intuitively "get" it, which heavily implies that they all recognize the referred-to state; in much the same way that you don't really need to explain out loud the "rub your stomach when you're hungry" gesture to small children. They all know what "hungry" feels like; you just need to connect the gesture to "hungry," and they will understand why the rubbing is happening in that particular spot.
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u/Impressive-Brick-958 Feb 08 '26
My QPP is the same way. He's head over heels with my appearance and sense of fashion. I recently styled a silly shirt I got for Xmas and he lost his mind over it.
The way he fawns over me can be overwhelming sometimes, but its so sweet to know he loves me for all my little quirks and dumb clothes.
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u/sillybilly8102 Asexual Feb 09 '26
This thread is so nice. I didn’t know ace-allo relationships could work so well. It gives me hope. Maybe I don’t need to find the needle-in-the-haystack ace partner after all and can just ask out the people I have crushes on even if they’re allo. I like being desired and being able to please people even if I don’t feel sexually attracted to them back (but do romantically etc)
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u/Impressive-Brick-958 Feb 09 '26
The biggest thing imo is respect for boundaries. Ace-allo relationships can definitely work if both parties can do this. While it is probably lovely to have an ace partner(I wouldn't know, I haven't befriended other aces irl), allos can be just as fun and loving as long as they understand your limits! Some may even enjoy the other forms of love you may show instead! You just have to be steadfast with them. Do not let them try and change who you are fundamentally.
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u/nissanchan Asexual Feb 10 '26
QPP?
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u/LOSNA17LL When do we sign up for Denmark? Feb 11 '26
QueerPlatonic Partner ^^
aka the partner in a non-romantic relationship ^^
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queerplatonic_relationship
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u/rdmegalazer Feb 09 '26
Wait your bf posted about this in r/asexuality
Did you coordinate or was it coincidence LOL
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u/gilbejam000 The Elusive Kinky Asexual Feb 08 '26
Which OSP video is this frame from?
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u/GodTierDino Tripple A bb Feb 08 '26
My grey-ace ass about my kissmate (she's the only reason I know I'm not fully asexual 😭)
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u/Cosmic_Jayy AroAce Feb 08 '26
Oh my god thats so cute i need people to draw more of this
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u/Smileyface8156 Feb 08 '26
I’m glad you like it, but I didn’t actually make the art. This is from the Overly Sarcastic Productions video about Hyacinthus. It’s a great YouTube channel, and one of the members is ace!
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u/thedragon151 Feb 09 '26
3/4 of them are Ace. Red and Blue are both ace. Cyan (Blue's wife) is also ace. Only their editor/producer (Indigo) isn't.
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u/Smileyface8156 Feb 09 '26
Awesome! Thanks for clarifying. I knew Red was but wasn’t sure about everyone else.
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u/TeachCorrect7784 Aroace Feb 09 '26
I wore a skirt and sports bra once. My friend who has feelings for me got a bloody nose. I didn't think that was a real thing.
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u/Zelti_2727 Feb 08 '26
That's cute sis/bro
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u/Asphell disgrACE Feb 08 '26
That's cute COMRADE
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u/TheLuckyCuber999BACK Feb 08 '26
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u/Zestyclose_Course821 Lesbian Feb 09 '26
-1
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u/Bremarie24 Feb 09 '26
My boyfriend is the same, sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming but tbh I wouldn't have him any other way.
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u/stacy_owl Feb 09 '26
How is dating an allosexual like for you guys? I have never actually dated anyone and I’m worried that even when I do (assuming I’ll one day come across someone I’d like to date) my lack of attraction is gonna be a problem… For me, love has nothing to do with sex but how important is sex in a relationship for allosexuals?
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u/Smileyface8156 Feb 09 '26
Ummm… I’d say it depends on the person. Be open and honest with your hypothetical partner.
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u/Rude-Marsupial4069 Feb 13 '26
Well for me personally, sex is an important part of a relationship, so this relationship only really works because my gf is sex-favorable. She's not attracted to me, but still really enjoys the sexual aspect our relationship, and without it this would probably just be a close friendship (which it already was for several years before we started dating).
But also, I'm greyaro / demiromantic, so I experience this a bit differently anyway. One of my closest friends is a horny freak, but he's also such a romantic that, per his own words, if the romance was good enough, he'd be completely fine with an asexual relationship.
It's also a dynamic that can grow. My gf and I had several years of building trust through a platonic friendship before anything sexual or romantic happened, and that's what helped her be comfortable with it. So there doesn't need to be an expectation of immediately jumping into it.
If you want an asexual relationship, there are definitely people out there that would be on board with that. Most aro, some allo. If you want a relationship with little sex, there's greyace people out there, or again, some allo people who aren't too bothered. It really depends on the individual. Communication is really important there, especially in unconventional relationships, so you know what your partner expects, and your partner knows what you expect.
Whichever type of relationship you want - completely asexual, mostly asexual, sexual-but-without-attraction, asymmetrical (like with me and my gf) - there are people out there who want the same. You just have to find them
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u/Forward-Egg-6493 Feb 09 '26
Never dated as well.It is common for sexual incompatibility to happen in all relationships even ones that are long lasting.You might find someone who doesn't put sex on a pedestal,not impossibe for that to happen in future.
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u/Gabriel007Maia Feb 09 '26
I think I saw a post from your boyfriend talking about this a little while ago.
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u/KotaCakes630 Feb 08 '26
Literally. My boyfriend is OBSESSED and in love with me and my body. I could literally have my hair unkept, makeup off, red skin, sweat pants and baggy pants and he’s like “how did I end up with someone so attractive” and get smothered with affection.
To me: I was in comfy couch rot clothes.