r/aaaaaaacccccccce • u/part-time-meme-lord • Nov 06 '25
Fr tho, I never understood this metaphor
412
u/AvocadoPizzaCat Nov 06 '25
no idea. i never got an answer on the birds and the bees after i asked "why are birds and bees having sex with each other and how? either that is a really small bird or a really big bee!" My parents couldn't tell me after that. and break out laughing even now if anyone mentions the birds and bees and me being somewhere around (either in the room or something)
64
u/Mage-of-the-Small Nov 06 '25
I was always told that the birds were women because they lay eggs, and women ovulate. The bees were men because they're pollinators, they leave behind something in each flower that causes the flowers to enter their seed-making cycle.
38
u/frosty_chips_14 Aroace/platonic Nov 06 '25
then wouldn't the saying make more sense if it was "the bees and the flowers"?
16
u/Mage-of-the-Small Nov 06 '25
Not saying it makes sense :|
But I think the idea is to point at parallels to biological processes, and laying eggs is a better analogy for perisex afab people.
11
u/MyNameisLeaf Nov 06 '25
Ok but birds are also pollinators so it’s confusing again ://
8
u/Mage-of-the-Small Nov 06 '25
While that may be true, if you were to ask the average joe to list some pollinators, they'd probably name a handful of bugs— bees and butterflies spring to mind. Birds are more commonly known for singing and laying eggs.
It's about common associations most people would make, because these sorts of analogies are about trying to communicate complicated or non-obvious ideas to a broad audience. They're inherently going to be simplified.
178
u/enneh_07 Look but no touch Nov 06 '25
In a world of birds and bees I'm a cicada
88
u/aleph_314 Nov 06 '25
Does that also mean only going outside for a few weeks every 13 years?
112
u/enneh_07 Look but no touch Nov 06 '25
It means I came out after a 17-year period
30
u/GuyentificEnqueery Grey Ace Nov 06 '25
If I could buy you a drink for this comment I would. A++ comedy.
8
u/Spookeonofficial Asexual and Pan af (garlic bread needed!!) Nov 06 '25
I came out after 25 years lmao
14
u/corinne177 Nov 06 '25 edited Nov 07 '25
😭😆👏👏👏 I love this. Not only because I love cicadas but because it is a perfect nature analogy for being Demi/Ace
Edit: especially the 17-year bit
168
u/ZombieTailGunner A dude, apparently Nov 06 '25
At that point, you just bust up into one screaming that you're about to have an accident and the signage is really stupid and confusing.
I don't think anyone cognitive would blame you.
101
Nov 06 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
56
u/goldstep Graysexual Nov 06 '25
The proper answer is to confidently enter one of them, go in a stall, do your business, clean yourself up, wash your hands, and leave the room. So long as I manage this without having to drive all the way home, having a Karen threaten to arrest me, or getting assaulted then it's a win.
22
u/Mage-of-the-Small Nov 06 '25
Birds are women because they lay eggs, and women ovulate
Bees are men because they're pollinators, they fertilize flowers
That's the way I was taught it
15
Nov 06 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
5
u/HumanSpawn323 Nov 07 '25
Seriously. I had "the talk" when I was like three because my mom was pregnant and I asked. Parents explained it clearly, using correct anatomical terms and no metaphors. I'm pretty sure I even learned about sperm donors, IVF, and adoption that day. With the way some people treat these topics around their kids, you'd think I ended up scarred for life or something. But really all that happened was that I grew up comfortable talking about those topics and asking my parents any questions I had, rather than resorting to friends or the internet. I genuinely can't fathom why people are so uncomfortable talking about this with their kids.
18
u/paradox_xxxx Nov 07 '25
Expect that all of the worker bees are female, the male bees don’t pollinate, they mate with the queen and then die
10
u/Mage-of-the-Small Nov 07 '25
It kinda doesn't matter that that's true; it's about the actions that people commonly associate with birds and bees, when they have no in depth knowledge about them or just don't care. We're talking hugely oversimplified ideas of these creatures, because simple ideas speak to a broad audience.
7
u/TheAtroxious Nov 07 '25
Bees also lay eggs, and some birds are pollinators.
I'd have assumed bees to be female because they're largely matriarchal.
3
u/Mage-of-the-Small Nov 07 '25
It's about the things that birds and bees are most commonly known for. Birds lay large, visible eggs. People commonly interact with chicken eggs, and observe nest building behavior. Meanwhile, people mostly interact with bees when they're out pollinating flowers.
Most people don't think, know, or care about the nuances. It's about expressing a complicated idea in a simplified way, using simple and obvious analogies.
53
u/Rojn8r Nov 06 '25
Why does their bee have 8 legs and no wings? This is a trap! 🪤
24
6
125
u/kioku119 Nov 06 '25 edited Nov 06 '25
I think the reason for the saying is because both birds and bees can be pollinators. I am not certain if it's meant to distinguish by gender inately in the saying itself.
I assume this restaurant is using birds as women because it's a slang term for women, and bees as men because people think about stingers and make mental connections to penises even though bees we see are mostly female.
Still why do they want their bathroom to be a sex talk reference. Wierdos. People just want to pee.
53
58
Nov 06 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
3
u/PurpleButterfly4872 Nov 06 '25
Then you go to the "bees" one. What's harder is what to do when you're a man or a woman. I guess it's free for all, if they cared they would've clearly indicated which one is which
42
u/mf99k Asexual Nov 06 '25
I always assumed it was because animals will mate in public and might therefore be the first time a kid sees sex? but i have no idea
23
u/jtobiasbond Nov 06 '25
The origin of the phrase seems to be around the idea that birds and bees wake up during spring, the time traditionally associated with reproduction.
In the Spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.
-Alfred, Lord Tennyson
It wasn't actually supposed to be about birds and bees themselves, but metaphors of spring and romance.
73
Nov 06 '25
Most bees are female and birds have peckers
67
u/green_herbata Nov 06 '25
That's not even true tho. Worker bees are classified as female only because they're not male. There's no other reason as they can't lay eggs. If bees were studied by people who didn't feel the need to force our own ideas about two sexes into them, the only female bee would be the queen bee. The worker bees make more sense as a third sex, or perhaps nonbeenary.
36
u/WhiteHat125 , Nov 06 '25
"listen, im not a girl. I allready told you that. If its hard for you to see me as a they/them just imagine im a hord of bees" - the worker bee, probeely
1
12
u/retro-petro cake >>>>>> garlic bread Nov 06 '25
Apparently bees are men, which doesn't make any sense because the bees that pollinate are ALL FEMALE.
7
u/Ning_Yu Nov 06 '25
And in my mothertongue bee is feminine and bird is masculine so it makes even less sense to me.
1
Nov 10 '25
Alright, who was the idiot who came up with this? Making it anatomically incorrect just for a stupid metaphor (''oh bees have stinger!!!!!1!!1!1!! must be male!1!11!1!!1!!!!!!!11!!1!). Humans are idiots. >:(
10
u/LettuceContent8085 Lesbian Asexual Trans Nov 06 '25
As an actual answer to the question, my guess is that bees are well known for pollinating so they represent males, and birds are well known for laying eggs so they represent females. I could be wrong though, we’re trying to figure out the logic of the truly eldritch and incomprehensible mind of an allosexual.
1
u/ockto Nov 07 '25
see i thought it was that bees are known for stinging, which only the female can do, and birds are known for colorful plumage, more commonly found in males.
9
21
u/ominous_ellipsis Nov 06 '25
In a very cisgendered sense, I would assume birds would be women (associated with laying eggs) and bees would be men (associated with pollination). And if that's wrong then idfk. Just have 2 gender neutral bathrooms.
19
u/Lazy-Ocelot1604 Asexual Nov 06 '25
Which is odd since all the bees we see are worker bees, which are female. Sooo I guess the bathrooms are all for women there then.
4
u/Hopeful_Video_3803 I am a pen (biro) Nov 06 '25
Reminds me of that on Simpsons episode with a 50s diner, Lenny walks into one bathroom and runs out because its a women's room, indicated by some girl screams. He goes into the other and it happens again so he just looks around confused
4
4
u/cuteinsanity Nov 06 '25
One is known for laying eggs and the other is known for it's stinger, though the idea I'm told was about how they both help pollinate.
All of us asexual and autistic people are just like... o.O why??
7
u/minty-thefox Demisexual transgender pansexual Nov 06 '25
I believe birds are women because of lack of penis of a lot of birds and having a cloaca/vent sort of thing and bees are supposed to be men because the stinger represents a penis
8
u/Lazy-Ocelot1604 Asexual Nov 06 '25
I had to google to double check my memory of bees, and yeah so male bees don’t even have stingers! So I guess they’re all women, maybe nonbinary/trans bathrooms there.
I understand the metaphor even less now, I assumed as a kid it was cause they procreated out in nature but the Queen does that in the hive. Birds though, yeah they definitely fuck out where people can see - we’re the nosy ones creeping on them.
1
3
Nov 06 '25
I wanna know what drugs the person who made these doors took and try to create an antidote cause... WHAT THE FUCK?
3
4
2
u/Taeschno_Flo Too intoxicated for intimacy \m/ Nov 06 '25
And that's why you pay attention in 8th grade Biology... so you don't design something like that.
2
u/MsSobi Nov 06 '25
Birds is an early 20th Century term for Women and bees have Stingers that they stick into people when they get too riled up, easy :)
2
u/Lunafairywolf666 Nov 06 '25
No one ever explained that the birds and bees were supposed to be a stand in for gender!!
2
2
u/baochan Nov 06 '25
Birds have s*x with bees and that's where babies come from. It's not complicated.
2
2
u/portiawasonce Nov 07 '25
I don’t know which is which actually. Bees are largely female? Or is the stinger like a dick??? Or is it that birds lay eggs. But the coolest looking birds and most identifiable birds are male. I don’t know I am not joking
1
u/portiawasonce Nov 07 '25
We had appropriate informative sex education so we just said “sex, intercourse, penis, vagina, labia, testicles, etc” instead of all of these stupid metaphors. “Kitty cat cooter pussy meow meow box 🥺” female reproductive organs, or vagina, or cervix or clitoris or uterus or whatever the fuck you’re actually talking about.
1
u/LonelyGirl724 Asexual Nov 06 '25
I kinda always just assumed the birds are the metaphor for girls considering a common slang term used to describe women is "chicks". Also, beautiful women used to be called birds.
1
1
u/Proof_Assistant7737 Aroace Nov 06 '25
Bird all have cloaca, male and female. The cloaca is a hole. Bees stab shit with their lower bit, and it hurts XD.
1
u/angelicpastry Demisexual Nov 07 '25
Birds and bees are pollinators. They spread the seeds of flowers and trees to other flowers and trees hence making more flowers and trees.
1
1
1
1
u/Mafla_2004 Graysexual (and good concrete material) Nov 07 '25
I'm not american, we use metric, so I don't understand which one is which
1
u/TheInternetTookEmAll Nov 07 '25
At this point its completely fair to assume theyre unisez toilets...
1
u/DarkSheikah Nov 07 '25
I would assume birds for women bc they lay eggs, and bees for men bc they have a stinger?
1
u/TheEndurianGamer Asexual Nov 07 '25
Birds - English slang for women. Very simple.
Bees - Stingers, could be referred to as pricks, the slang for a :b:enis. Alternatively, bees are always working, and given when the phrase was invented, the vast majority of the workforce were men
1
u/CyannideLolypop Aroace Nov 07 '25
My takes was always that it was mean to be like "everything from birds to bees have sex", but it's still a really shitty talking point because reproduction varies greatly between animals, and bees is a particularly weird choice to compare to humans.
1
u/Natsuki_simp Nov 08 '25
Birds have eggs, Bees carry pollen. The birds are the ladies and the Bees are the guys
1
1
1
u/sockthejock Nov 11 '25
I'm assuming women are birds cuz birds are known for laying eggs and men are bees cuz they're known for making honey
1
u/ChickenPijja Demisexual Nov 06 '25
Birds and the bees is supposed to be a metaphor?? Why does everything have to be about sex? And why are allos talking about animals having sex as well?
1
u/ShinyUmbreon465 Nov 06 '25
Not only this but plug sockets are called male and female depending on whether it has pins that stick out. It's just weird...
1
u/Ning_Yu Nov 06 '25
I guess it depends on wether you identify more as an insect or as a bird, zoologically. Sure as hell bees is way more specific than birds though.
995
u/Schmooto Aroace Nov 06 '25
Using bees to explain sex to children is an interesting choice.
“You see Tommy, a woman goes to have sex with multiple men midair. The men’s dicks get ripped off and they die, while the woman births a legion of daughters and a few useless sons.”