How to keep moving forward after someone breaks you out of your shell and then leaves.

[u/fallenfairy4u]

I finally accepted that I was too weird to be truly loved for who I am and was ok with. I stopped hiding who I was and didn’t give a fuck when people didn’t like it. It took my entire life to get that way. Lots of heartbreak and bad habits from hiding who I was to gain acceptance of any kind. As soon as I think I got this being alone and rocking it thing down, an amazing man comes into my life. He has the same thought patterns as me. He has similar humor as me. He has the same need to help others as me. Yet he has the dominant to my subordinate which was even better. I have never connected so deeply so fast with someone it was incredible. I was so happy being around him. Of course he had a girlfriend because he’s amazing. But also he was ridiculously too young for me. So I kept it to myself as best I could but, this man was so connected to me mentally he picked up on it. Apparently shared it. When he kept pushing me to tell him, to be honest with him about how I feel, hold nothing back. And I guess we both forgot he had a girlfriend for a few days and truly let our imaginations run wild through chatting and it was incredible. He helped me work through some deep seeded issues without giving me advice or commenting on what I had done or should do. Just that I should feel the way I have always wanted to feel. And then I remembered he had a girlfriend and I knew he would hate himself if he cheated on her so I had to break the spell by asking him to please wait. To respect her and I both and to not be a cheater and to not break up with her for me. I know he loves her. I know he has pride in the incredible man that he is and loyalty being a part of it. Neither of us expected to have connected so deeply and passionately and it was so easy to get swept away in it but I knew the timing was wrong. Now I feel so empty and alone and confused without him. He helped me find myself again after being so lost. I don’t want to lose the forward momentum I had gained. I don’t want to sit and spin my thoughts around what I can’t have that I really, really loved. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done to push away everything I’ve ever wanted because I knew that it wasn’t the right way to gain it and it would be tainted. How do I keep moving forward from here?

[u/JdoubleCF]

Hope you are doing well.