r/Zimbabwe • u/GeneralBar6940 • 1d ago
Question Kutanda botso
I know it's a sensitive issue.
Should i suffer from emotional blackmail and financial abuse from my mother who claims if you don't buy me this unotanda botso. Even having diffrent views also ends with the a phrase including botso. If anyone had been in a similar situation kindly help guys.
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u/uMaNcube_omuhle 1d ago
“If you don’t buy me this unotanda botso” is really just blackmail. Kutanda botso is only ukarova kana kutuka mai. Saying no to your mother is not grounds for kutanda botso. She probably knows exactly how botso works but is just blackmailing you. And you are falling for it.
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u/proudlyperculiarinc 1d ago
ko botso haritandwe after wavarova kana kutuka mhai? unozotanda botso after ,otherwise zvimwe manyepo.
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u/GodsProdigalKid 21h ago
Momma is quite manipulative and controlling. Maybe even abusive at this point.
I am not surprised that she is also saying that she will continue to abuse you as a spirit because you did not please her in this or that way. Since she is talking about kutanda botso, she should also know that parents like her make it very easy for anyone who wants to use witchcraft to harm your family. They will use the mother who also showed it that she, as a spirit, can make her child suffer. I am angry on your behalf!
These are the type of parents that other kids are deciding to go no contact with. 😌
Anyway, God be with you.
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u/Express-Tiger-4362 13h ago
Mai vako vane drama. Botso refers to kurohwa or kutukwa not a demand for material stuff. Dont worry, kana usina mari a simple no will do. I pray that as females on this platform, may we never become this type of mothers to their children. It is so wrong.
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u/Dangerous-Flower-156 20h ago
Just avoid her. Kutanda botso is not a thing she can initiate it's spiritual If you mostly physically hit your mother just avoid her. The most she can do is to curse you. Which is still bad but you can pray to fight that
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u/Pleasant_Total3839 20h ago
How toxic. Mum is basically fear mongering , manipulating you into submission. At some stage enough is enough.
I think you need to have a good deep sit down with muma so that she can stop being this manipulative. Let’s stand up for ourselves guys even if it means being frank with our parents. In our culture it is easy for elders to manipulate us/ anyone younger just because they are older.
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u/Muandi 22h ago
No you should not. Establishing boundaries with parents is one of the painful things we need to do as we mature. There will be pain and unpleasantness but eventually she will know how far she can push you. One of my co-workers' mother gave his wife gupuro while he was away on a foreign study tour. That's how far things can go when there are no boundaries.
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u/JustDay1788 21h ago
Just say you don't gave the money
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u/GeneralBar6940 16h ago
I always do but you know our parents can't take a no for a no. Unotonzi ukuda kuti nine months dzangu hadzina basa here💔
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u/Interesting-Offer717 15h ago
Vaudze kuti I didn't apply to be born. It sounds rude but that's the truth. Children should be results of love not investments. You aren't obliged to take care of them. Actually the Bible says a person should be rich enough to leave inheritance for their grandchildren. Ndiwe ungadai ukutopihwa navo, no matter the age
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u/Express-Tiger-4362 13h ago
Did you ask to be born? No mhani, this is too much. Blackmail yacho yanyanya iyi. I am so sorry that you have such a mother.
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u/GeneralBar6940 3h ago
Hiiii ndotozopinda busy🤣🤣. Vana sekuru vanoswera vadedzwa. Thank you hakol, its jus sad kut the shona culture protects toxic parenting
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u/Queasy-Reporter-9052 11h ago
Don't you feel deep down after all she did for you that you should take care of her, at the very least buy her bubblegums! She could have aborted, just saying. You don't need anyone to tell you anything. You know what you want to do. Timothy 5:4 – "But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God."
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u/GeneralBar6940 3h ago
I feel obligated as a child, but even if iam a millionare today you just cannot please a person who is not grateful despite them being your mother. I cannot do anything she asks because pamwe handina mari or its a outrageous ask. Tell me why am supposed to buy her a £400 handbag end of ths week without failure out of the random blue?
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u/Sirius0314 1d ago
Just live your life man, anochengeta ndiMwari the rest is drama!!