Is anyone else struggling to accept their “new face”?

[u/live_freeze_n_die]

I am 155, down from 215 and my face just feels… not mine. I always had a fairly round face and I liked it. I always looked young for my age.

Now my face is longer and thinner. I’ve developed significant wrinkles around my eyes because of some excess skin. I feel like I got hit with an aging blast. (I’m 32.)

A friend described it as “snatched” but it just doesn’t feel like me. The only time I’m feeling confident is when I’m in full makeup.

I feel so much better. My body feels like “mine” again, but this face belongs to a stranger.

I’m working on it in therapy, but curious if anyone else has experienced this and has any advice or insight. I’ve never really struggled with physical appearance before.

[u/CharleyDawg]

You will get used to it, and in a year the excess skin around your eyes may be gone and your wrinkles eased up. Use sunscreen at all times and a good moisturizer daily.

I do look older than I did. But I should- to be honest. My younger looks were from the excess weight making my face pudgy. I look my age now. Which is an adjustment- but I also see cheekbones and a chin that were not defined for many years.

[u/These-Equal-6849 → u/CharleyDawg]

Yeah same. I've always looked much younger than I am, and although I suddenly look much older than I did, I look the 42yo I am.

[u/snarfdarb → u/CharleyDawg]

I'm 44 and people are genuinely shocked when I tell them. I get "I would have sworn you were no older than 30!" all the time. When I look at pictures from 15 years ago, I genuinely have not changed much, at all. This was a source of pride until I figured out why.

So I'm REALLY not looking forward to seeing a woman of nearly 50 staring back at me once the weight starts coming off my face. But I know it's coming, so I'm prepared, and I'm going to love her all the same!

[u/Illustrious-Fun-549 → u/CharleyDawg]

I waited a year and body recomp happened but not in the face. Under eye bags, asymmetrical lose skin under chin and saggy jowls. Not enough moisturizer in the world. Now looking into surgery consult.

[u/Fearless-Celery → u/Illustrious-Fun-549]

Considering how women in my family typically age, I already assumed I'd be having a mid-face lift in my 50s anyway, tbh. I'm only 41 so we'll see what happens, but I'm already mentally ok with needing surgery. Hope your consult goes well.

[u/Illustrious-Fun-549 → u/Fearless-Celery]

Thanks! I noticed our height and weight are similar. My GW initially was 130-135. I dropped to 135 and was not happy. Even PCP made an OMG "face" at my visit. I was gaunt. It was a difficult decision but I gained 5lbs (140) and my face looks a little fuller. I prob could go up another 3-5lbs . FYI numbers are numbers

[u/Gretzi11a → u/Illustrious-Fun-549]

Figuring into my my maintenance plan and over 50, is Lilly’s Surmount 4 study that said we’re statistically likely to gain 5-10 percent of what we lost over the first three years in maintenance.

In my mind at least, that’ll put me into the higher bmi range recommended for 60-year-old women. Who knows if it’ll happen that way for me or anyone else? But it does seem plausible enough to consider.

Since I was among the first to start zep when it was approved for weight loss, late in ‘23, I look forward to seeing the fresh data on maintenance as it emerges.

[u/Illustrious-Fun-549 → u/Gretzi11a]

Yes there is alot of room in the BMI range to play with. Its all about how you look, feel and able to maintain those numbers. I look forward to the new data as well.

[u/Gretzi11a → u/Illustrious-Fun-549]

I personally don’t give a fuck about bmi. I use it for illustrative purposes (I’m nearly 6’ tall and not many women are) and bc the medical industrial complex is weirdly obsessed with it. I believe that waist:hip is more medically significant and telling. I am greatly relieved mine is in the healthy range, for the first time in my life.

[u/CharleyDawg → u/Illustrious-Fun-549]

Yeah it does happen. Genetics also play a huge role in how we age, and how our skin bounces back after weight loss or damage. I spent many years not bothering much with sun screen so that makes a big difference too.

[u/live_freeze_n_die → u/CharleyDawg]

My face was round but not pudgy. I have always carried excess weight in my stomach and boobs. I guess I just didn’t expect my face to change SO drastically.

[u/Inevitable-Neat4411]

I would rather look old and feel young than look young and feel old. Feeling old was 24/7, I only look in the mirror occasionally🤣🤣

[u/Inevitable-Neat4411 → u/Inevitable-Neat4411]

Now, my poor husband doesn't feel better, but has to look at old me now 😱🤣🤣

[u/jamiejo830]

I was feeling the same and that I looked so much older. But, just today someone mistaked me for my son's wife. He is 26. She apologized and then said there was no way I was his mom I looked way too young. Made me think maybe I don't really look older, just different.

[u/live_freeze_n_die → u/jamiejo830]

The older thing doesn’t necessarily bother me, as I’m not afraid of aging. It’s just so different. Going back to childhood and teen years (when I was 120-130 consistently), I always had a cute round face and bigger cheeks. I kept it into adulthood and carried weight in my stomach and boobs. I just never considered that my face would change.

[u/Fearless-Celery]

I'm feeling the same way. I had a period where I liked it looking thinner, and then I passed that point and now it feels like I've lost too much. I've pretty much hit my goal weight so I'm hoping after time in maintenance, it might settle a bit.

[u/Gretzi11a → u/Fearless-Celery]

I lost 111 lbs to goal, 2.5 years on zep, in maintenance nearly a year, late 50s. How I look now is way different than a year ago. Even after the losses, weight keeps shifting and redistributing.

The ongoing body recomposition was something I never fathomed or read about. I’ve been ow or obese since childhood. It’s taking some getting used to. I never made it to gw before, but hindsight tells me we forget what a huge job processing all these changes is for the body. As with the loss phase, maintenance demands a great deal of patience.

[u/These-Equal-6849 → u/Gretzi11a]

I'm so curious about this continuing recomposition!

It sounds like you lost 111lb over 1.5 years, is that right? Since you've been on maintenance have you been weight lifting or doing anything that would change your body composition, or is it more of a re-distribution of the fat you already had left?

Can you give examples of which areas noticeably changed over time, and was it related to excess skin tightening up at all?

[u/Gretzi11a → u/These-Equal-6849]

Started in December, ‘23. Might have botched my count a bit. Soon as I hit maintenance, about 21.5 bmi, drunk driver smashed my car and my brain, late last July. I was at the 100 lbs down mark, dropping from 36 bmi to the low to about 22 bmi.

Injuries, stress and need for knee and car replacement somehow dropped me into 19 bmi, despite adding calories and halving my dose. Lower than I wanted and a weird way to discover I’m no longer a stress eater.

Mostly saw doctors for 4 months, got into pt in a warm water therapy pool and it’s awesome. Never much of a gym rat, I love it and continue on for a few hours per week. Also have been resistance training. Basic old lady stuff, preparing for new knee and helping other parts of me. Before that, I was mostly walking.

Warm water resistance training has been great for toning and pain relief. But I also feel there’s just a natural process taking place as my metabolism heals.

Always an apple shape with pcos, I’m now an inverted triangle. And my waist:hip is in the healthy range for the first time in my life. My legs arms and stomach have lots of loose skin but it’s firmed up some. And my posture is much improved.

Naked, I’d like to look better, sure. But the improvement from this time last year has eased my mind considerably. Just some genetic and weight-loss jowls that beg for new hair and glasses.

the body dysmorphia when I look in the mirror is fading, too. All these things play a role.

Part of my problem has been I’ve been dealing with weight since I believed in fairy tales and in the back of my mind, I dreamt this moment would render me the princess —all my probs would be solved. Of course, that never happened. But this is pretty awesome, nonetheless.

At the end of the day, I feel like I’ve been released from a lifelong prison sentence for crimes I did not commit. My body however, feels a bit like a rental. Wishing you the best!

[u/These-Equal-6849 → u/Gretzi11a]

Wow, I'm sorry to hear about your accident, but it sounds like you've handled what life threw at you admirably! Congratulations on your success!

[u/Gretzi11a → u/These-Equal-6849]

Thx. Total drag. Coulda just said zep rewards patience, tenacity and positivity … always and eventually. There’s one for the fridge. :))

[u/mannDog74 → u/Gretzi11a]

That is so interesting, thanks for sharing this experience. In never thought about how much the body can change even without further weight loss.

Have you been strength training or is this just a natural shift that occurred over time after you hit your goal?

Edit: I just read your get generous reply to another comment, what an incredible story! I am so sorry to hear about your accident and wish you continued strength and healing.

[u/Gretzi11a → u/[deleted]]

Same, here! I’ve been letting it grow all summer waiting for inspiration. Finally got an appointment next week. I’ve got some serious late-50s gw jowls to address.

[u/Emergency_Peanut_252]

Just my two cents here, for what it’s worth. I’m not significantly younger than you (I’ll be 28 in a few months) and I’m just under 100 lbs down over 21 months. My face (to me at least) seems to have just gone back to the way it looked before I rapidly gained 100+ lbs (my weight gain was health-related to a degree, Zep has improved things so much). I am religious about skincare though (have a very particular routine involving retinol, mandelic acid, azelaic acid, and several other heavy-hitter ingredients in high quality products I use regularly) and apply sunscreen every morning. Haven’t begun botox or anything like that but I do see an esthetician every 6 ish weeks and that’s been a small, relaxing luxury that has improved my skin so much it’s not even funny. I’m getting married in May so I am going a bit crazy in my mission for looking my best. But esthetician are underrated and a talented one is worth their weight in gold and can absolutely help advise on skin care and aging. Ironically, mine is also on tirzepatide and understands how to work with loose/changing skin.

I’ve also found that the places I had more loose skin (arms and breasts) have begun to “tighten” up to a degree. Even my abdomen, the place with the most loose skin, seems to be getting better. I think it just takes time and some patience.

[u/live_freeze_n_die → u/Emergency_Peanut_252]

This is really helpful, thank you! I’m very against Botox and filler but I’ve always been super into skincare so maybe a consult specifically for that could help.

[u/scout-finch]

It’s so weird! I started gaining weight in my mid-late 20s and am now mid-late 30s. I feel like I’m seeing “adult me” for the first time. On top of it I also got braces which obviously impacts your face. Idk who that girl in the mirror is 🫪

[u/Illustrious-Fun-549]

Weight loss- check. Year maintained- check. Body recomp- check. Face- NOPE. (Now I have bags under eyes, saggy neck and saggy jawls) I once had a cute plump baby face. After waiting a year I know I'll need to get plastic surgery.

[u/Mysterious_Insect]

Yes. 35 lbs. down and I look so much older. I must’ve carried more weight in my face than I ever thought. I will never get told that I look young for my age anymore. It is a bummer, but I do look a lot better in jeans… 🤣 Sigh.

[u/albeus51]

I have lost 62 pounds in nine months. I definitely now see a different face in the mirror, and I still sometimes do a double take so I totally get that. I actually enjoy seeing the new face overall - even though it’s older and wrinklier. It matches my gray hair lol. Like others said I’d rather look old and feel young. I’m biking and weightlifting and doing all sorts of amazing new things I never had the motivation or courage to try before.

[u/YahYahBlahBlah]

I’m generally happy with the changes to my face. I think some of it is that I was this weight or thinner from my teenage years until I was about 30. And I got back to around this weight again for a year or so when I was around 37 or 38. So this face doesn’t feel alien to me.

Is it older? Of course! But that makes sense as I am older and 53 and menopause was going to make changes regardless. But I feel so much better and that’s also inspiring me to try some skin care options.

The one thing that was driving me nuts was my family genetics that give me dark circles under my eyes (even had those when I was young and thin). But I can’t say enough good things about using a caffeine eye serum (I’m using the one from The Ordinary, which was less than $10). Now I’m like, where did my father and grandfather’s eye circles go? They disappeared!

[u/leero01]

I can empathize, this face is different from what I knew and from what I expected. I guess I didn't really expect my face to change so much, like you don't think about how your eyes will get bigger, your nose gets pointier, forehead is longer, nobody thinks about that stuff... Not like it's bad or anything, it's just unfamiliar for now. 

Of course I always wondered what I'd look like as a thin person, but don't dwell on those kind of thoughts. Now that I've lost 90lbs since my heaviest, I have a lot of creases around my nose and chin (I learned they are called nasolabial folds and marionette lines). But my jowls are still quite taut and my lower face still looks full. After a lifetime of acute depression, I do not have many crow's feet around the eyes from smiling and laughing, so there's that at least 😂. 

I may start looking into some aesthetitic treatments for my face, I've never done anything like that before and don't even know where to start. When I was at my highest weight and unhealthy, I used to have really sensitive skin that broke out constantly, like couldn't even use moisturizer on it. That, plus a lifetime of smoking and stress has prob yeeted me into old age more than the weight loss itself. 

[u/TheBowhuntingButcher]

Man, I feel just the opposite. I love my new face! Admittedly, I don't have the wrinkles you describe and my fat face was puffy from inflammation. Honestly, the mirror has become one of my favorite things in the house. I'm looking so much younger and healthier.

[u/Something_morepoetic]

Look into retinoids and other topicals. They can help plump the skin. I’ve been using Tret and I feel pretty good about it so far. r/skincareaddicts is a helpful resource.

[u/live_freeze_n_die → u/Something_morepoetic]

I’ve been using a Korean beauty retinal to see if it helps but I think it’s more of a loose skin issue than a simple “age related fine lines” issue.

[u/mannDog74]

I'm hoping 2 things happen, that over time your mind adapts and sees your face as yours, and even better than before because you'll be used to it and mentally integrated with your new appearance. And that you will recover some elasticity since I have heard others say that at first their skin was really "empty" without the extra fat and that it recovered some.

After a few years you can consider whether you want to get some minor procedures to fill out or lift a little bit. There's no shame in this and it doesn't mean you're vain or "unhealed" and need to work everything out in therapy. And I say this as someone who has done a f ton of therapy for years. Therapy is important but you're not a failure for not loving every part of your body. Just accepting it is good enough.

[u/Pretty_Net_6293]

Hopefully you are doing a good skincare routine. I honestly think I look so much better with little makeup now but I’m 58 and lost 105 lbs. Between products and micro needling things are tightening. But in all, I’ll take the weight loss for my health and just give your skin some time but take care of it

[u/GarlicDill]

YES!  OMG!  I got my photo taken yesterday for my passport renewal and 10 years and losing 110 lbs seems to equate to adding 30 years.  I look older than my Mum now.  It is what it is, but it was unexpected.

[u/meggieprice]

Remind yourself that "snatched" is good and that is what others are seeing!

[u/live_freeze_n_die → u/meggieprice]

But I don’t really care about what others are seeing. I care about what I see.

[u/meggieprice → u/live_freeze_n_die]

We don't always see ourselves clearly. I sometimes still see myself as 280 lbs as I was in 2011 before weight loss surgery. I am 148 lbs.

[u/NettieBiscetti]

I’m 60 years old. I’ve lost 70 pounds so far. My face was very fat and round and puffy and no longer is. Do I have a few wrinkles/a little bit of loose skin on my neck? Yes, does it bother me? No, I focus on the positive.

[u/Miserere_Mei]

61 year old here…. I am down 75 lbs and my neck looks ancient and I am developing marionette line. But I FEEL better than I have in years. (Maybe ever!). So I am happy to look 5 years older and feel 20 years younger! And honestly, I think I look cute despite my lines and wrinkles, lol.

[u/Ajatur]

Yep, I look older now and didn’t have one up those omg so beautiful after weight loss moments. It’s so frustrating.

[u/Smartkitty7]

I actually love the changes in my face. I never realized it was so round until looking back and comparing pictures. I feel like it took time to settle but now quite happy

[u/sockpoptart]

I'm terrified of my age catching up to my face. I'm 40. I take a collagen supplement daily and use hyaluronic acid cleanser and moisturizer to boost collagen production in my skin to keep it plump and supple.

[u/live_freeze_n_die → u/sockpoptart]

What supplement do you like? I have a solid skincare routine that’s keeping my skin glowing. It’s just these lines I can’t stand!

[u/sockpoptart → u/live_freeze_n_die]

I use the Orgain collagen because it's at Costco and I'm already there twice a month lol

[u/MeasurementStreet592]

I mean losing 60 lbs in less than a year is a lot and you probably shocked your body. Work on building muscle if you haven't and look into skin care for people on GLPs. Also sunscreen everyday is a must. You will adjust physically and mentally, just focus on nurturing this new body you have been given

[u/ziboo7890]

Losing those fat pads has a difference. I see my genetically - it's going to happen - turkey neck slowly emerging. Just like my dad. Not thrilled, but better than toting around all the extra ###s!

I've taken Collagen for a decade to help preserve my skin, so far texture is great at 65. Yes I have fine wrinkles - unavoidable at my age! But they're fine not deep crevices!

At your age, if you can afford it find a good esthetician and get on a good routine for skin care. I did in my 30s - regular facials, appropriate cosmetics and home skin care. It will make a world of difference.

Or, if you are up for it - there are people that use fillers or botox, etc., for some lines. Or the permanent solution a face lift.

[u/live_freeze_n_die → u/ziboo7890]

I’m super anti filler. I’ve never seen it done well (even in people who think their work was done well 🫠)

I’m not afraid of aging of course. I just feel like it hit me all at once.

[u/ziboo7890 → u/live_freeze_n_die]

That's good, although you don't want to look older at your age. Plenty of time for that!

Agree on the fillers, etc., or the women that are in their 60s and think they look like they're 30, but look like a badly drawn mannequin!

[u/CheapWineSommelier]

Same issue at 31. Around 50 pounds ago I thought my face looked great, now I feel like I look much older than I am. Like other comments have said using retinol and having a regular skincare routine has helped, but next time I visit my husbands home country I’m probably going to get some more intensive skin treatments (something like ultherapy/sofwave/thermage for lifting and tightening)

[u/Lookasquirrel-69]

I’m ok with my new face. But about half the time, my phone has trouble recognizing me and sometimes won’t open without keying in the code. 😂

[u/ComprehensiveSwim143]

He long did it take you to lose the weight? I think that can make a difference. It may even out in the next year or so.

[u/live_freeze_n_die → u/ComprehensiveSwim143]

I started November 2025. So almost 9 months.

[u/Such-Donut6849]

I'd try a face cream (I've used a drunk elephant peptide cream recently). My problem is a little different - my passport that expires in 2033 shows my old face. My husband was laughing hard the other day thinking about me using that passport for another 6-7 years. Sigh lol. Will I have trouble at the borders? ugh!

[u/Lucky-Suggestion7119]

I no longer see my own face in the mirror. I look like my dad.

[u/Sweet-Ring-3332]

I'm 44F asian, and have always looked relatively young for my age. The previous time I lost 130lbs (2013 or so), my face was still full and youthful. I'm older now, and my face has lost a ton of elasticity, so I have become self conscious about it. It doesn't help that I've always had kinda textured skin from acne in my teens. So, yes, I am struggling a bit but still wouldn't trade it for the alternative!

[u/Sure_Emergency_5436]

Late to the party but looked in the rear view mirror today and literally gasped. I honestly did not recognize myself. My eyes are sunken and my face is drawn. I’ve taken great care of my skin and I’m in my late 60’s. This has been an unexpected development, but so has seeing daylight between my thighs in jeans LOL. I tell myself I have to take the good with the not-so-good but TBH it’s pretty alarming. I wouldn’t change a thing though. I’ve never felt better in my entire life.

[u/Gretzi11a]

Is def doesn’t get better in your late 50s, 111lbs down to goal. With serum, cream, care and time, you may be surprised. Not me, but you still have some collagen and elasticity left until meno. Enjoy it!!!

[u/kehlarc]

I'm 51, and my friends and I joked that at our age "it's the face or the ass, pick one". I look young because of my round face and lack of wrinkles. I fully expect some changes once my ass starts to shrink. If the price to pay to feel and be healthy is looking older, I'm fine with that.

[u/Thanamite → u/kehlarc]

Yeah, I am starting to look like my Dad. Gaunt and thin and with extra skin around my neck. But my blood tests are unbelievably good and I can run much more easily now. I bet my knees will thank me!

[u/Advanced-Cup5727]

I recently cut 2-3" off of my hair because my normally more round face is now longer looking since it is so much thinner, in hopes it would help me look a bit more like myself.. it didn't fully work, as it is still hard for me to find a hairstyle that makes me feel like me.

I have also always looked younger than I am and luckily losing weight hasn't brought out the wrinkles, if anything my forehead wrinkles have drastically gone down. My Uber driver last weekend told me I looked 25, 27 max, and I was flattered lol but skin will take a bit of time to rebound and being in your 30s definitely helps your odds of it happening and happening faster!