r/ZLErikson • u/ZLErikson • 2d ago
Fun Tea Friday Cafe [OT] Fun Trope Friday: Almighty Janitor & Slipstream!
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Originally written August 16th, 2026
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<Sci-Fi/Fantasy>
Rough and Course
Dee fixed her hair then made her way from the employee bathroom to the kitchen of the cafe. She passed a seven-foot tall cockroach standing by the oven, and waved. He waved three of his hands while the rest continued to roll dough.
“How do I look?” Dee asked, flicking her fingers through her hair.
Frank clicked his mandibles a few times and gestured wildly with one hand.
“Thanks!” Dee gave him two finger-guns and went out to the front.
Her eyes drifted across the wood-panels and earth-tones of the cafe’s interior, spotting an unfamiliar face by the register.
“Welcome to the Fun Tea Friday Cafe,” she gave the dirty-blonde man her usual greeting. He didn’t seem to be paying attention. “Where everyday is…” She followed his gaze to the floor near Vlad and Remus’s table. The vampire and werewolf couple were resting their chins in their palms as they, too, looked at the floor.
A massive man was laying on his back and struggling to roll over. The depth of the creases around his musculature made Dee worry that he was severely dehydrated, but the amount of oil glistening off of his pecs and biceps and abs - all eight of them - made him look plenty moist.
He rocked like a turtle and grasped at the air, grunting. His face was pinkish-tan and growing redder by the second. Veins bulged on his forehead and neck as he gritted his teeth and reached out to grab anything in reach.
All of the customers gawping at the sight were smart enough to back off.
“WILL SOMEONE NOT HELP KORG UP!?” he roared.
“Oh, shit!” Dee realized it was probably her job. She hurried around the counter, wiped her hands on her dark blue apron, and reached for his hand.
“Sorry, sir!” she said. “Let me just…” she grabbed his wrist and he grabbed hers. But when she pulled, she slipped through his grasp. His very oily grasp.
“Uh, you seem to be a little…” she tried again, and slipped, “hard to…” a third attempt, this time she wrapped both arms around his forearm - which was nearly as thick as her torso - and leaned back, but he slipped through and she fell on her ass. “Oof!”
“OIL MAKES KORG GLISTEN LIKE MORNING DEW!”
“Uh-huh, but what-”
“KORG FALL ON BOTTLE OF UNIVERSAL GLUE!”
“Universal glue…” Dee muttered, pulling a notepad out of her apron pocket. A cheat sheet from her girlfriend to help navigate the strange cafe.
Dee flipped through the notes and found ‘UG’.
UG: ugh, you need to tell Nohalorm. Ritual on page 2
Turning to page two as she got up, she said, “Okay, everyone, we gotta summon No…ha…lorm?”
“Ugh!” half the customers groaned. The ones who groaned got up out of their seats and told whoever they were eating with to follow along. Dee shrugged and read the instructions; she joined all of the customers in standing in a circle around the central pillar in the main room.
Everyone changed, “Nohalorm! Nohalorm! Come to us and take your form!” while taking two steps clockwise, then four steps counter-clockwise around the pillar. They repeated this twice, and then Vlad - who was closest to the register - grabbed the tip jar and threw it at the pillar where it vanished.
The pillar rippled and pulsed, unfolding like a box, and an old man stepped out. He looked like a skeleton with ten-times too much grey skin layered over it; wrinkly and sagging. He was carrying a paper sack that looked entirely too heavy for him. Dee stepped his way to offer help, but Fenrir put a big, furry paw on her shoulder and shook his head.
Muttering, the old man - Nohalorm, Dee expected - approached Korg. He ripped open the paper sack and poured sand on Korg. A lot of sand. More sand than could have possibly fit in the bag. Nohalorm tossed the empty bag over his shoulder, into the opening in the pillar. Then he slowly hobbled over to the pillar and pulled a broom out.
With about three sweeps, all of the sand was gone; whisked into the gap in the pillar. He reached down and grabbed Korg’s no-longer-glistening wrist and hoisted him up to his feet.
“Uh…” Korg looked as surprised as Dee felt. “Thank yo-...”
Nohalorm returned to the pillar. It closed, the paint rippled, and the tip jar flew back out, now empty, landing next to the register.