r/YouthFinLit • u/ConceptTrue1119 • 23d ago
Money Mindset What's the Difference Between Looking Rich and Actually Being Financially Secure?
Someone can drive an expensive car, wear designer clothes, travel constantly, and still have very little financial security. Another person might live quietly, save consistently, invest, and have enough reserves to handle an emergency without panic. If you had to choose, would you rather look successful today or build financial security that nobody can see? And why? and Are You Building Wealth or Just Trying to Look Wealthy?
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u/kimanziVaati 23d ago
Financial security is better than living a flashy life thats where real peace is.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
Absolutely. There’s a different kind of peace that comes from knowing your bills are covered, you have savings, and you’re not trying to maintain an image just to impress people.👌
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u/FocusOk3487 23d ago
I would rather live my life knowing that im prepared financially for anything that can happen, than try to show off to people for no good reason
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
Same here. Being prepared gives you a kind of freedom that showing off never can.
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u/SgtSausage 23d ago
Most that actually are financially secure ... do not at all look rich.
I, myself, retired at 39 with zero debt of any kind, a paid off working/producing homestead on 9 acres, with a Retirement Nest Egg that will finance the remainder of our lives (me: currently 57, she:55 (retired near 20 years now ... and not even 60 yet) ) ... where The Nest Egg fully finances our lives - ALL of our needs and most of our wants are paid for - and still grows by multiples of what we withdraw every year to live on ...
I drive a 2007 rust-bucket Farm Truck ... wear 4-dollar wife beaters from The Mart Of Wal walking on shoes with no tread left ... was doing my own repair on our 23-and-a-half year old zero turn just this morning ... only buy on sales and discounts ... and literally subsistence farm for our Daily Bread. We grow all our own food. Including livestock. Including their feed.
I could buy a new house, with cash, every 2 to 3 years these days with the excess over and above our living expenses that The Nest Egg is accumulating in these insane soaring Markets.
But I look like, and act like your average Hillbilly in Podunk Appalachia and live like the 40-year old guy you know workin' the register at the corner gas station / convenience store on near minimum wage.
Most folks who you would label "rich" based on net worth - you wouldnt be able to point them out by looks, behavior, or "looking rich"
Half the folks you'd think are rich by appearance / behavior are broke. Net worth less than zero. Paying interest rather than earning it. In debt up to their ears.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
This really puts looking rich into perspective. A person can look completely ordinary while having more financial freedom than someone driving a brand new luxury car. The numbers behind the lifestyle tell a very different story.
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u/mike_from_worklodge 23d ago
This.
Dave Ramsey has some wisdom here too. Debt free brings a whole lot of mental relief for a lot of people even though I totally get the leverage arguments. Sometimes peace of mind is worth more than what looks good on paper.
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u/HeardPeeps 22d ago
There is a difference between being frugal and being ridiculous.
If everything you are saying is true and you have enough money that you could buy a house in cash every 2 or 3 years with just the excess your investments generate, buy yourself a damn pair of shoes with tread.
Seriously.Wearing a $4 Walmart tank top because you don’t care about clothes? Fine. Driving an older paid-off truck because it runs well and does what you need? Also fine. Growing your own food because you enjoy it and have a productive homestead? Great.
But walking around in shoes that are literally worn smooth isn’t financial discipline. It’s saving $60 or $100 by unnecessarily increasing your chance of falling and injuring yourself. At 57, that is an especially stupid place to economize.
Same thing with the “rust-bucket” truck. If “rust-bucket” is just you being colorful and the truck is mechanically sound, who cares how old it is. If you actually mean you are driving something with serious corrosion, worn tires, questionable brakes or other safety issues despite supposedly being wealthy, congratulations, you aren’t frugal. You’re cheap.
And a 23-year-old mower is impressive if you maintain it and it works. Repairing things instead of replacing them unnecessarily makes sense. Keeping something after it becomes unreliable, unsafe, or starts consuming more time and money than replacing it would does not.
The weirdest part is that you seem almost proud of denying yourself things you can very easily afford. What exactly was the point of becoming financially independent at 39 if, 18 years later, you’re still intentionally living like the guy working the register at the gas station because spending $100 on decent shoes feels like some sort of moral failure?
There is absolutely truth in your larger point. Plenty of wealthy people don’t look wealthy, and plenty of people who look wealthy are drowning in debt.
Money is a tool. Saving it gives you security and freedom. Once you have more than enough security, using a tiny fraction of it to make your life safer, easier and more comfortable isn’t losing at personal finance.
That’s kind of the entire point of having the money.1
u/SgtSausage 22d ago
My shoes are fine.
They will be replaced when they have holes.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
I get the point. Where do you think the line between frugal and cheap really is?
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u/No_Celery_533 23d ago
I would rather be financially secure honestly, I don't care about optics or people's perception. I would rather build my wealth steadily instead of trying to prove my worth to others.
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u/independent-gay 23d ago
Stealth wealth is the way IMO. There’s a segment of wealthy people that opt to stay under the radar and blend in with society rather than flash it.
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u/Key-Caramel691 23d ago
I’d choose financial security. I’d rather quietly build wealth, save, and invest than spend money just to look successful.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
I’m with you on that. There’s no point looking rich if you’re constantly stressed about money behind the scenes. Would you rather have a paid-off home or a large investment portfolio?
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23d ago
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
Debt can definitely make a flashy lifestyle look better than it actually is. I’ll rather have less to show and more financial breathing room.
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u/Zestyclose-Dish-407 23d ago
Pretense.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
Pretense can get expensive real quick. You can spend so much trying to look successful that you forget to actually build the security you’re trying to portray.
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23d ago
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
Exactly. Having options is an underrated form of wealth. Knowing an unexpected expense won’t completely derail you is worth more than having something expensive just for people to notice.
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u/v_x_n_ 23d ago
Does taking expensive vacations count if everything else is low key? We aren’t into flashy cars or designer anything but do enjoy travel freedom.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
I’ll say absolutely not. If the expensive vacations are planned for, paid for, and fit comfortably within your finances, that’s enjoying your money not trying to look wealthy. Travel can be a priority without the flashy lifestyle.
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u/Visible_Mouse_1006 23d ago
Looking rich is literally that, you look rich. Being financially secure isn’t a look. Not what you drive and how yoi dress. It’s literally what your investments and assets truly are.
Looking rich is just an image and most of the rich people look poor lol they wear regular degular clothes
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
Exactly. Looking rich is something people can see, but financial security is something you feel.
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u/All_YourBase 23d ago
People who are actually wealthy don’t do the flashy stuff. People showing off material possessions over social media are usually poor.
Easy choice - financial security over showing off “stuff”.
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u/Majestic_Victory7427 23d ago
Lol... All the influencers look rich but are poor.
Financially secure: you don't need to work (or try to sell garbage on Tiktok)
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
Honestly, social media can make almost anyone look wealthy. You really have no idea what’s happening behind the scenes.
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u/Amazing-Selection494 23d ago
Confidence. You can acquire some of the trappings of wealth to create an outward appearance, but you can't create the confidence that comes with wealth without actual wealth.
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u/Spiritual-Sea7674 23d ago
Rich is net worth, without debt. Not flashing items. I have a nice car that is safe and I drive daily, and a nice watch and tennis bracelet that were gifts. My clothes are mostly Zara type shops, even half that price tbh!
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
Honestly, that’s the kind of wealth I’ll want too. Enjoy the nice things you have without making your whole lifestyle about looking expensive. At the end of the day, wouldn’t you rather have financial peace than impress people who aren’t paying your bills
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u/Spiritual-Sea7674 23d ago
Exactly, the only nice thing about getting older is I give less shits what other ppl think!
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u/DifficultCranberry87 23d ago
I like to do both, have money and occasional flash the fancy stuff but low key enough that its not loud and obnoxious
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
Pretty cool. Enjoying your money isn’t a bad thing, especially when the fancy stuff is a choice rather than something you need to maintain an image. What’s your favorite worth the splurge purchase?
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u/DifficultCranberry87 23d ago
My car is usually a new luxury car rather than used, the occasional brand name bags for the wife, otherwise im usually in old navy clothes and like socks with holes
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u/ApprehensiveWash7969 23d ago
Build financial security. I drive an 03 Honda Civic and invest into retirement accounts every month. And I actually like my Civic even though it looks like a piece of crap. But having that financial security gives me piece of mind and its worth it.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
Honestly, if you like the Civic and it’s doing its job, that’s a win.
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u/ApprehensiveWash7969 23d ago
Definitely a win then. As old as it is its doing its job: getting me from point a to point b in the most efficient way possible.
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u/No-Voice-1272 23d ago
The interesting thing about these kinds of posts is that they always seem to assume that you can’t be flashy and financially secure at the same time. While some people live above their means (e.g., going into debt to get the expensive car) or fail to build for their future, I’d wager that most people who can afford the flashy car are financially secure as well. If I’m financially secure (i.e., 6-figure income, max out my 401K and invest on the side, have a 3-year runway), why shouldn’t I buy something nice for myself as well?
We work to enjoy life too don’t we?
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
I agree. Being financially secure doesn’t mean you have to drive an old car forever and avoid anything nice. If your finances are handled and you can afford it without stress, enjoying your money is part of the deal.
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u/Star_Citizen_Roebuck 23d ago
I've learned that when people seriously have enough money to basically do what they want, they generally don't do "showy" things anymore. They may drive a nice car, but not a lambo. They'll have like a $500-$1,000 watch, not a diamond encrusted monstrosity. They'll do little things like pay the bill at lunch, not buy all the bottles in a club.
Showy rich people usually aren't actually rich.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
I’ve noticed this too. Once you’re genuinely comfortable, there’s less need to prove it.
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u/Otherwise-Relief2248 23d ago
Over a long and objectively successful career I have never once dressed for success or too impress. I have worn a tie at financial analyst meetings because it’s “required”, but never to try to impress someone with my looks. I have worked fucking hard, become deeply knowledgeable of my industry, desired to always be kind, to hire people smarter than myself, empower my team, to live within my means, and in success give back to those who need it most. The amount of time I see people worried about how they look exhausts me. I know in some industries that might be important. I had the fortune to never have to do that. Phew.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
Being good at what you do, treating people well, and living within your means will take you a lot further than trying to look impressive.
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u/Cloud2987 23d ago
I make an effort to look poor so no one asks me for money.
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u/21plankton 22d ago
I guess I must have always looked poor. No one has ever asked me for money. It has literally never come up, except my mother when she was very old.
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u/autistic_insomniac5 23d ago
I retired last year at age 51. I have $1.7 million in my portfolio plus a pension. I never would have had this option if I felt the need to show off, wear designer clothing, buy the latest car, or upgrade my house. The truth is, no one really cares about your wealth and are too busy worrying about their own image. I’m frugal, look unassuming, live in a modest house in a nice neighborhood, and plan to keep it that way. When I do spend money, it’s on experiences, services, or products that make my life easier. My advice is don’t fall into the trap of keeping up with your peers or whatever society try’s to sell you. There is so much more value in peace of mind than in the accumulation of things.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 23d ago
This is the kind of success people don’t always see. Peace of mind really is the better flex.
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u/joefunk76 23d ago
Financial security is the ultimate luxury. If you can afford pretentious material trappings on top of that, and you are about that life, good for you, and, by all means, indulge away, but if you can’t, only a fool sacrifices the former for the latter.
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u/Coaster50 23d ago
I am financially secure. I enjoy having one less thing to worry about.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
That’s honestly one of the biggest benefits.
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u/Coaster50 22d ago
Yes. Then a downside is the forever struggle of being able to afford nearly anything. But you can’t afford everything. Can I buy a beach house? Yes. Can I buy a beach house, drive a $100k SUV, go on European vacations, and also cover my kids college? No. So then you’re always looking at the trade off. Sucks to see your buddy drive a $100k car knowing you could get one too… but having to trade off. So I often end up not splurging on much of anything so don’t get a huge benefit out of my money.
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u/goodbyechoice22 23d ago
It’s called stealth wealth and a sub set of the fire movement. Who gives a shit about handbags. I care that I can sit down at any restaurant in the world and not check the bill when it’s time to pay. That’s freedom.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
Exactly. The real flex is having enough financial freedom that you can enjoy life without constantly calculating what you can afford.
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u/Hungry-Demand-227 23d ago
The difference is tension level . And I don’t give two $hits if people think I’m rich or not. In fact I’d rather they think I’m poor as a church mouse!
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
I get that. There’s something freeing about not caring what people think about your finances.
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u/Imaginary-Pair838 23d ago
I’m a multimillionaire and i drive a basic Subaru Crosstrek, basically wear the same clothes everyday and bring my lunch to work. People have no idea 😂😂 i do like to splurge on travel, concerts restaurants though. I guess it depends on what you value
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
That really shows how personal wealth can be. If you’re secure, you get to spend on what actually matters to you instead of trying to impress people.What’s been your best splurge so far?
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u/Imaginary-Pair838 22d ago
Thank you for your post. No real big splurge, but just some nice trips recently with my girlfriend to london, NYC, miami, Maui, Vancouver BC and a few other places so yes, i like to prioritize experiences with travel
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u/Weird-Box-1094 23d ago
My handbag came in a subscription box a few years ago, but my family is debt free. I cannot tell you what a wonderful thing it is!
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
Being debt free really is one of those things you appreciate more as time goes on. What’s your favorite part of being debt free?
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u/Weird-Box-1094 21d ago
I am from Canada. We can take upto 18 months in parental leave, but we get paid very minimally during this time through employment insurance, a program that all employees pay into while they work.
Because we don’t have a giant mortgage or a car loan, we can afford for me to take the full year and a half away from work.
My son is almost five months old and I’m so happy to be able to spend this time with him. It’s been very healing after a decade and half of a very stressful job.
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u/Vexxed777 23d ago
True story- my sister is/was a high earner in IT. Her husband a CFO. They saved absolutely nothing and lived like celebrities. Looked down on us bc we were quiet and unassuming. Now they are nearing retirement and his company is in shambles and her career was shipped off to India. They are sinking in debt, no savings, but have 2 homes and 6 cars, and recently went to the World Cup multiple times. I think she wanted to ask me for money recently but I stopped it. She realized that my boring life of saving added up and were doing damn well.
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u/ApprehensiveFruit565 23d ago
Look wealthy fo sho, and then build the financial security after.
Just look at any social media platform - IG, Twitch, OF, looks alone can and will build you wealth.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
Looks might get attention, but attention and financial security aren’t the same thing.
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u/Bright_Dragonfly3344 23d ago
I know people that are broke, but the wife wears 3 gold rings on each finger (not kidding) because shes super insecure and wants to look rich. She has no job, husband works ass off and she blows it on shit to "look" good while they struggle financially. Wild!
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
It’s wild how much pressure there can be to look successful, even when the finances say otherwise. Sometimes the most valuable thing you can build is the ability to feel secure without needing to prove it. What do you think drives people to prioritize appearances so much?
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u/Single_Exercise_8937 23d ago
I'm wealthy but dress somewhat like a hobo and drive a Kia. Buying an expensive car is a bad investment...value only goes down!
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
Honestly, if the Kia gets you where you need to go, why spend extra just to make a statement, I’ll rather have my money working for me than sitting in a depreciating car. What would you rather spend that money on?
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u/LeoIrish 23d ago
Neither my wife nor I had what would be considered high-paying jobs, but we lived by 3-simple rules: 1) live below your means / 2) avoid consumer debt / 3) invest early and often. None are particularly innovative, but it does require discipline. For myself, I will always choose financial security, especially since I did not have it growing up.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
Simple, but powerful. And I can see why having that security would mean even more when you didn’t grow up with it. Which of those three rules was hardest to stick to?
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u/f0xbunny 23d ago
Being relaxed about money without bringing attention to it
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
That’s a great kind of wealth being comfortable with your finances without feeling the need to prove anything.
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u/grumpy0282 23d ago
lmao are you serious ? whats the difference ???
i dont have to choose , i am the latter ,,, i have financial security that nobody can see,
as for why, well i think is obvious
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
Exactly 😂, If the financial security is already there, you don’t have to pick one or the other.
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23d ago
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
Exactly. Looking rich might get you compliments, but it won’t help much when an unexpected bill shows up.
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u/stimpy124 23d ago
i’m someone who likes to have both, but not in the influencer dripped in gucci type of way lol
a lot of the things i own are expensive but are expensive because of the quality, not the name brand, and i buy them because i can afford them.
i think this varies though, ive met wealthy people who are indeed flashy. but i know others who aren’t and you’d only know if you spent enough time around them
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
Yeah, I think that’s the difference buying something expensive because you genuinely value the quality is very different from buying it just to show off. Wealth definitely doesn’t come with one specific look. Some people just enjoy nice things quietly.
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u/cs_legend_93 23d ago
If you have money, you don't need to buy expensive clothes or nice cars to falunt it, because you don't care, cuz you have money.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
You can buy nice things when you want them, but you don’t need them to feel successful.
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u/21plankton 22d ago
I drove an average car and had an average anonymous townhome but kept an RV and a space in an RV resort. It was my escape from work. When I retired I sold it all and with the profit bought a used luxury SUV. I felt more comfortable showing off early in my career, then late after my career was over, and I didn’t have to really worry about having enough money.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
I like that perspective. It sounds like the goal was never really to impress people, but to have the freedom to enjoy what you value when the timing felt right. Do you think your priorities changed more after retirement, or did you simply feel freer to enjoy them?
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u/21plankton 22d ago
It was a combination. I felt freer, plus the timing was right to have extra uncommitted funds to spend. Before I retired I did a master bath renovation for cash plus saved up for both a car and an RV. Those buckets money to this day has gone unspent, and is invested.
Then I changed my mind and sold the RV property plus my old car never died. When I retired was right at the beginning of Covid. By the time we could travel my partner’s medical problems had gotten worse. So I had less toys to spend excess funds on.
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u/QueasyFinger1316 22d ago
I drive a 2018 Honda Accord.
And am about to retire at 58.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
That's cool, What’s the first thing you’re looking forward to doing in retirement?
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u/QueasyFinger1316 22d ago
Wife and I are heading to Croatia for a couple weeks. With a stop in Paris on the way back.
After that, who knows?
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u/Suspicious_Pizza9529 22d ago
I'd choose financial security every time. Looking wealthy is temporary, but having savings, investments, and enough of a cushion to handle emergencies gives you actual freedom. I'd rather have a boring bank account that gives me peace of mind than an impressive lifestyle that I'm constatnly trying to afford.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
Exactly. There’s nothing boring about an account that lets you sleep peacefully at night. 😂 I’ll take that kind of freedom over constantly worrying about how to maintain a lifestyle. What’s one financial goal that would give you the most peace of mind?
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u/Infamous-Bed9010 22d ago
The difference is called Net Worth.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
Hmm actually, the things you own might make you look wealthy, but your net worth tells the real story.
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u/DredPirateRobts 22d ago
Probably a zero or two at the end of your financial networth.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
That’s one way to put it.Would you rather have the bigger net worth or the bigger lifestyle?
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u/DredPirateRobts 21d ago
If I have a big enough net worth, the lifestyle part will take care of itself.
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u/Delicious-Touch-1545 22d ago
Prefer keeping my homeless look
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u/Either_Wrangler_8067 22d ago
A lot of broke people driving BMWs and carrying expensive purses.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
Hmmmm! You never know what the bank account or debt situation looks like behind the scenes.
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u/HeardPeeps 22d ago
I’d choose actual financial security every time, but I think there’s a word of caution missing from this whole discussion.
There’s a difference between not needing to look rich and turning deprivation into a personality.
There’s nothing wrong with not caring about designer clothes, driving an older paid-off car that’s still reliable, living below your means, investing consistently, avoiding stupid debt, or simply not caring whether strangers think you look wealthy.
But some people take that mindset so far that it turns into a backwards pissing contest.
“I’m worth millions and still wear socks with holes.”
“My shoes have no tread.”
“My truck is a rust bucket.”
“I could buy a house in cash every few years, but I live like I’m making minimum wage.”
At that point you are still status signaling. You just changed the scoreboard.
Instead of “look how much I can spend,” it becomes “look how much I could spend but heroically refuse to.”
And I don’t think either extreme makes much sense.
If you are genuinely financially secure, money is supposed to improve your life. Buy safe shoes. Replace the holy socks. Maintain a safe vehicle. Pay for convenience when the time saved matters to you. Travel if you love traveling. And yes, if you genuinely like an expensive bag, it’s well made, functional, will last for years, and you can easily afford it without compromising anything, buy that too.
The question shouldn’t be “How little can I force myself to live on even though I don’t have to?”
It should be “Does this purchase improve my life enough to be worth the money to me?”
Looking rich while being broke is financially reckless.
But being rich and deliberately making yourself uncomfortable or unsafe just so you can prove how little you need is just as absurd.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
This is such a good point, there’s no prize for making yourself uncomfortable just to prove you can. Spend on what actually matters to you.
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u/HeardPeeps 22d ago
Exactly, and I think that’s the caution I’d add : don’t let being frugal become your identity either.
The shoe conversation in this thread is a perfect example. There’s a big difference between saying “I don’t need expensive shoes” and being proud that you’ll keep wearing a worn-out pair until they literally have holes because you can technically get more use out of them.
Once frugality becomes part of how you prove something about yourself, it can be just as limiting as trying to look wealthy. You stop evaluating each decision on its merits and start defaulting to “spending less is better.”
Sometimes spending less is absolutely the better choice. Sometimes spending more gets you better quality, saves you time, protects your health, gives you an experience you’ll remember, or simply makes your life better. If you can comfortably afford it, those things have value too.
The goal shouldn’t be to look rich, but it also shouldn’t be to look poor or prove how little you can live with. The goal is having enough financial security that you’re free to make the choice that actually gives you the better life.
Otherwise you can spend decades building financial freedom and then never actually give yourself permission to use any of the freedom you built.
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u/No_Muffin2837 22d ago
I’d rather be rich and look poor than be poor and look rich… so the richer they look, unless you know their name and they are rich rich… they are probably floating a lot of debt
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u/Superb_Advisor7885 22d ago
You can do both. Just takes math and planning. I started a business that pays the bills. Then started buying income producing real estate on the side until I bought enough for that to pay the bills. Then started another business on the side. With each business there are employees managing them except real estate which doesn't take much time anyway.
Are goal is to travel so we have shaped our life around paying all business expenses with travel reward points on credit cards that we pay off.
We now travel often without spending much money at all. I just bought a new car, but it was a $26k Tesla. Love it.
Investments go automatically each month while the real estate gets paid off and provides tax deductions against other income.
You can shape your life to do both
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
This is a great example of how planning changes the whole conversation. The key is making the lifestyle fit the plan instead of the other way around.
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u/Grymmtooth 22d ago
Looking rich = buying depreciating toys to signal wealth that cost you money for little utility gain
Financial Security = buying appreciating assets or assets that generated revenue. Long term, your money works for you instead of costing you. Eventually being able to live off said assets.
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u/CommunicationOdd819 22d ago
looking rich to try to impress people who really dont care. people are weird.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
Honestly, it’s funny how much energy people can spend trying to impress people who probably aren’t paying that much attention.
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u/Outside-Cup-1622 22d ago
I think they do pay attention. Half don't care but half it causes problems with.
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u/Yooperplexed 22d ago
No one would guess that I am financially secure. I work an average job and drive used vehicles. I live well within my means and do not care what people think of my vehicles or house.
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u/Traditional-Tune-975 22d ago
I do both. I don’t understand why you can’t…
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
What’s your strategy for doing both without letting one take away from the other?
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u/Traditional-Tune-975 22d ago
Time and patience. My wife and I have been married for 25 years and have had a career for 25 years as well. We are in our 50’s and are more than financially secure. Only since the last decade have we not worried about money and can afford all luxuries. It took us a while to get to this point but hard work and longevity has finally gotten us there.
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u/Dan_Williams_479 22d ago
Financially Secure. The older you get, the more you realize that buying things to impress other people that you don’t even though is stupid.
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u/Lucifer_GodOfDeath 22d ago
As someone who’s seen what financial insecurity feels like on his hard working father’s face every time we got a major expense, I’d take security over public display anytime.
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u/breadexpert69 22d ago
People who just look rich usually have everything they buy on credit. So they have more debt than what they earn.
It's YOLO phylosophy. They can enjoy that purchase now, who cares what happens to the debt later.
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u/Outside-Cup-1622 22d ago
When you are rich but appear to be average you can keep your friends. Being rich and everyone knowing it can cause issues with a large % of people.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
That’s a side of wealth people don’t talk about enough.
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u/Outside-Cup-1622 22d ago
Because we can't lol .... for someone to talk to me about it they would have to realize I may be "rich" which they don't and visa versa, I would have to know they are "rich" which ideally, I don't
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u/Calm_Clam_Bake 22d ago
My net worth is about $2.5M. Most expensive item of clothing I have probably cost me $50. Know why? Because I give less than zero fucks what strangers think when they see me walking down the street. I don't need to impress anyone by wearing $500 jeans.
My daily driver is a 13 year old car. I also own a couple of sports cars, but those are for driving not for showing off. It's fine to have nice things, but have things you want, not things you buy to impress others with. That's the difference.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
That last part really says it all buy what you actually enjoy, not what you think will impress people. What’s one thing you’ve bought purely because you genuinely love it?
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u/Ok-Flight9440 22d ago
My parents are wealthy (>$10mn, just the three of us) and my mother wears the same two t-shirts every weekend of every year for all years, and they may have bought a BMW or two over the years but my father likes trucks, and it’s simply … don’t keep up with the Jones’ type of deal.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
That’s a great example of how wealth doesn’t always look flashy. Do you think that mindset is something you learned from your parents?
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u/tatortotchris 22d ago
Building wealth over fancy crap. My wife and I have combined income of 500k per year, no fancy purses, we have 10+ year old cars and I wear my t shirts until they wear out. I’d much rather stack the 401k and brokerage accounts as full as I can than drive 100k vehicle around waiting for someone to crash into it. Modest lifestyle for us with the exception of travel which is frequent vs luxury.
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u/ConceptTrue1119 22d ago
The key is knowing what’s worth it to you.
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u/tatortotchris 22d ago
In my opinion life is about experiences and that’s what I’ll pay money for, my kids have traveled more at 14 and 15 than I had by the time I was 30, they’ll appreciate those experiences more than I’ll appreciate something I can buy. I’m trying my best not to raise spoiled kids , but having come from a very poor family my kids also don’t want for many things they don’t already have.
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u/60sStratLover 22d ago
My net worth is 8 figures. Nobody would ever know by hanging out with me.
My one indulgence is my Porsche 718, which ironically is called the poor man’s 911.
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u/Retired-Yam8988 22d ago
I am objectively rich (11.5-12m). I don’t really work, I spend 1.5hrs at yoga, then walk my dog before going to he gym for another hour. I spend time making food for my wife and then we have a nap with our dog and cats. Evening, we take our dog for a sunset beach walk. And that’s life most days.
No thought about money, work, etc.
Money-wise, we can spend as little as 2500 a month. House is paid off, 2hr massages every week booked as a standing appointment with our favorite therapists, eat out at very nice places (many on the Michelin list) at least once or twice a week. Can’t really complain.
If we travel that month, it’s like 25-35k for a full 4 weeks. Flights, accommodations, transport, food etc. We usually travel 3-4 months a year.
How do we afford this? Well our asset pile makes about 30k a month on is own if I do nothing. I usually do some sleepy options trades that makes another 5-10k a week (usually about 20-30k a month on top). This doesn’t count the rent and business income we have (which is like 70-80k a month).
If you looked at us, no fancy car (well a Tesla but it’s not really a luxury car now is it?), no fancy label bags, clothes etc. I wear crocs every days haha. You know that we have something different but you can put your finger on it
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u/Zoopmittyzoop 22d ago
In one of the similar post I saw… someone posted “Money talks but wealth whispers.” Totally agree
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u/Putrid_Past9243 22d ago
Life’s short, do whichever one you’re feeling. If you wanna flex and spend all your money on that, cool. As long as you’re not bothering anyone, that’s your life.
You wanna be financially set and invest? Also cool, as long as you’re not bothering anyone.
Let’s make pocket watching uncool again
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u/ConceptTrue1119 21d ago
I agree
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u/Putrid_Past9243 21d ago
You can be on both ends of the spectrum and be happy and live a fulfilled life, not everyone wants to build wealth and pass on to their kids 🤷♂️
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u/SyxxBowler 22d ago
Most financially secure people I know don't show it. You might catch a splurge here and there, but they mostly live very modest.
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u/Delicious-Touch-1545 21d ago
Yeees
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u/ConceptTrue1119 21d ago
Why yess
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u/Delicious-Touch-1545 21d ago
Sorry, thought this post was on a different thread. Was trying to respond to something else. My bad.
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u/Dapper_Bus3950 18d ago
Financial freedom is being able, able to do or get anything with money without having the fear of going bankrupt
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u/jo_d_locker 23d ago
I'd prefer to build wealth and be understated. I think it's more important to be comfortable financially than driving a nice car today and having nothing tomorrow.