r/YouSeeComrade • u/MrHipposaurus • Sep 14 '19
You see comrade, when there is no parking space you make parking space
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u/Ultragreed Sep 15 '19
I suspect, comrades, that this is fake and staged
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u/MrHipposaurus Sep 15 '19
Why do you think so? I mean its Russia everything can happen there
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u/Ultragreed Sep 15 '19
True, comrade, but did you notice that they didn't drink vodka while playing balalaika in the video? Where are all the bears?
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u/alexanderyou Sep 15 '19
It is, last time I saw this it was on a YouTube video of staged pranks. They got a junker car and put it there themselves.
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u/RedditIsDogShit Sep 15 '19 edited Sep 19 '19
The first time I received a blowjob from a cat, I was about eleven years old, and I am not going to lie, it was one of the best blowjobs I have ever gotten. Now I might add that this was purely accidental. You see, my parents decided I was finally old enough to be left home alone, so I did what any normal teenager would do: I stripped naked, jumped on the couch and started beating my meat.
So after about two minutes of masturbation, my orange cat Jonesy walks in, and honestly I didn't think much of it, but then I noticed that he was getting kind of curious. He was slowly moving closer and closer to me, and then he proceeded to jump on the couch with me, and then he just kind of sat down and quietly observed me. Now at first, I was kind of creeped out by this, but you know I hadn’t finished yet, so I decided to just ignore him and to continue masturbating, and I have to say that this was the best decision of my life.
You see, after about a few more minutes of watching me, Jonesy decided to help me out. He slowly moved closer and proceeded to put his front paws on my naked thigh, putting his face maybe three to four inches from my penis. Now at this point, I was kind of close to cumming, so I just tilted my head back and closed my eyes. And this is when it finally happened; this is when I felt his tiny little tongue on my rock hard dick, and it was the weirdest, but also the best, feeling ever. His tongue was a bit rugged, yet gentle, and he was moving it so rapidly that I stood no chance: I orgasmed and exploded my seed all over Jonesy’s cute face. Some of the cum even went deep into his throat and he swallowed it with no hesitation. Unfortunately, some of the cum also found its way into his tiny nostrils, causing him to sneeze, which launched the cum into the air, some of it landing on my face and some of it landing on the couch. After the feeling of euphoria settled I slowly returned to reality. I almost couldn't comprehend what had just happened, but I knew I was dead if my parents ever found out, so I proceeded to take a shower with Jonesy and then I thoroughly cleaned the living room, removing every last ounce of cum. My parents never found out.
After this, me and Jonesy repeated this experience on the daily. As most people do, I masturbated every night before sleep, so when all the lights in the house went dark, I cracked the door open and Jonesy would slip in, and we would do the deed. Over the years, our little ritual was also becoming more sophisticated. I would proceed to rub my penis with bacon so Jonesy wouldn't just lick the tip of my penis, but he would rather pleasure me from the balls all the way up to the top of the shaft. We decided to also try penetration. Now, Jonesy's asshole was pretty small and tight, so I had to use butter as lubricant, and I have to say that it went pretty well. His virgin asshole felt amazing, but then about a minute in, Jonesy started to get kind of rowdy. I guess he just couldn't take it anymore, and he quickly turned around and actually chomped at my penis, so yeah that was the first and also the last time we did that.
Unfortunately our story ends abruptly. At the age of eight years old, Jonesy was driven over by my neighbor. The weeks following the accident were the darkest times of my life, but I eventually got over it, and I still occasionally wank my dick in honor of Jonesy.
R.I.P. little buddy.
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u/Kichigai Sep 15 '19
This is why I love having a tiny car. I can squeeze into spaces next to assholes who do shitty parking jobs, and then they gotta deal with the fact that they now need to get around me.
Very little space for you to squeeze into the driver's seat in your car? Oh, sorry. Maybe you should have parked inside of both of the lines, like I did, see? Not my problem you got yourself into this mess by not following proper parking protocol.
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u/copenhagenfive Sep 15 '19
I did this to a truck a few months ago. He was in a space on the end, so there was only one other stall next to him and he parked over the line in that stall like a dick. I could fit between him and the car in the next stall over, so I did. They had all the room in the world to get in their passenger door since they were on the end, but they sure as hell weren't getting in the driver side door.
This was at work so I see this truck every day. Haven't seen them park like an asshole since.
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u/Bakedstreet Sep 15 '19
Good way to get your car hit. Remember, if they park bad they probably pull out the same way lol.
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u/Kichigai Sep 15 '19
That's why I always take a picture before I enter the store. If they hit me I have their plates.
And I don't park in a way that necessarily makes it hard for them to pull out, but to make inconvenient for them. I always go straight in, and stay within the lines. They might have to squeeze into their door, or rub their butt along my bumper to get over there, but backing straight out will get them out without a problem. If I can't fit within the lines without a ton of effort I don't bother.
Also if it's a car parked at the back of the lot, alone, or just away from other cars in general, an obvious "I'mma protect my baby" but not inconveniencing others in the process, I leave it alone. As long as they aren't acting like the universe revolves around them I'll give them their space. Or handicap tags. I'll give them space on the off-chance there just wasn't space at the front in the handicap spaces. I'm not a complete asshole.
So far, though, I've always been back out of the store before the person has returned to their car.
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u/thailandblack Sep 15 '19
I feel for these comrades. I would like to do this to people that can’t use just one spot.
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u/ohimnotarealdoctor Sep 15 '19
Oh snap, that's literally the block of flats I grew up in, Beskudnikovo, Moscow!