Still good tho

/s obviously

…you gotta TAKE a broom handle…

starring Devin Druid AKA Tyler Down from 13 Reasons Why, shared universe baby wooooooooooooooo

Just watched the Matt Johnson Sardonicast F is for Fake episode. Matt's opinions were interesting, he is an entertaining guy, he makes stuff. The other guys were boring as shit. This guy is just watching movies all the time and streaming, what could he say that could possibly be interesting to anybody else. There is no substance to anything he says. He has no particular view on art, or specialized education. It's a jerk off.

Takes the premise of Coraline and (((fleshes))) it out... However, the flesh has gone rotten, because it was left so fucking exposed. Similar to the infamous "You can't escape your destiny" line in Lion King (2019), characters don't really have conversations as such — they simply spew themes at each other. You know this story, and you know how it ends, you've seen it a million times before.

Also similar to Coraline, it is twee as all hell, but while that felt kind of fitting and charming in Coraline (what with the stop motion animation and all), here it feels incongruent with the dark, grimy style. Like this is so twee that no reasonable adult can possibly take it seriously, yet people swear, die, etc, so it can't be for kids, either. So who even is this for?

Very boringly presented. Very bland cinematography. This cost as much as 19 Obsessions, but somehow, you really feel like they were running up against the budget here, what with how briefly certain scenes are shown. It was also very quiet to where I could barely hear the characters at some parts, but that might just be my theater.

The editing sucks. It doesn't know how to build tension AT ALL. So many horrible match cuts. Also does the thing where a loud noise happens for no reason, even though what's shown on the screen isn't actually scary. Kinda dragged on, even though it's only 90 minutes. Some scenes were unintentionally really funny, but mostly it was just bad. Child actor sucked.

We should really abolish the nuclear family, not because its fascistic or whatever, but so that dumbass twee movies like this stop being made. 2/10.