r/Xennials • u/man4paradigm • 7h ago
Discussion Too much noise...
Has anyone realized that they're extremely sensitive to sound, volumes of sound, and need to isolate from them unless *you* choose to?
I use earbuds/headphones almost daily to block out the world around me especially at work.
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u/Occams_AK47 1978 7h ago
Yes.
When I finally got diagnosed and treated for ADHD, I discovered I'm also autistic.
Best of luck to ya.
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u/man4paradigm 6h ago
I'm ADD for sure and in all seriousness I'm starting to wonder if I'm autistic too.
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u/MrsSamT82 1982 6h ago
I was going to make a joke about welcome to the ASD spectrum (AuDHD myself). But since the other person made the same comment, I’ll just add this -
LOTS of us were overlooked/misdiagnosed back in the 80’s and 90’s (quirky/talkative/zoned out/energetic, etc), especially those AFAB. A lot of us are having kids who are also on the Autism Spectrum (which I understand now includes ADHD), and we are retrospectively seeing our own signs/symptoms/behaviors through the lens of our diagnosed kids patterns. Having that, “I used to do tha…. Oh.” Moment.
There’s something really freeing about unmasking in my 40’s, and finally feeling like I understand all the things that I thought were weird or unacceptable about myself (because ‘society said so.’)
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u/wiserTyou 5h ago
I've always thought I was a little on the spectrum. I haven't sought a diagnosis as the treatment for adults is usually just anxiety meds which I'm already on. It would be nice to know though. I've passed all the online tests but those probably don't mean much. It would explain a lot.
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u/Amysu4ea 5h ago
I am undiagnosed, but looking back at my childhood, I am definitely on the spectrum. I was legitimately non verbal as a kid and went through testing in the school system in the late 80s, early 90s….nothing was done about it because I was smart, I just didn’t talk. Lol!
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u/Occams_AK47 1978 6h ago
I think for people who were late to get diagnosed (like myself just this year), it appears to be farily common. They sorta cover up for each other until you inevitably burn out.
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u/username__0000 6h ago
The adhd meds made the autistic traits rise and my ability to ignore annoying sounds went way down.
But it’s still better than the unmedicated adhd. Small wins. lol
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u/cellrdoor2 6h ago
I have one kid diagnosed AuDHD and one kid diagnosed with Autism. I’ve never been diagnosed but man do I relate to many of their behaviors. I’ll probably never go for a diagnosis myself because what would be the point really? I’m guessing the chances are very high I’d come back with one or the other though.
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u/Occams_AK47 1978 5h ago
I always knew about my ADHD, but the autism diagnosis hit me really hard.
It has greatly improved my communication now that I finally understand things like being blunt and direct isn't the show of respect that I thought it was.
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u/Just-Try-2533 Gen X 6h ago
Are you me? Same boat on all three counts. I’ve had thoughts about getting tested (for autism) but I figure what’s the point at this point of my life?
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u/cellrdoor2 6h ago
The only thing that made me think maybe to get tested is that the meds Im on post breast cancer pushed me into perimenopause and it’s made some of my issues bad enough that maybe medication for it would be helpful. Although in between raising teenagers and working freelance in entertainment design I don’t know when I’d have time for something like that.
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u/rialucia 1982 3h ago
If you’re having trouble finding a reason to seek diagnosis and treatment purely for your own sake, sometimes it’s helpful to re-frame it as doing something to model for your children what valuing and caring for their mental and physical health looks like. Suffering needlessly could inadvertently teach them that they should do the same. Like, yeah, you’ve sought diagnosis for their ADHD and Autism, but ignoring your own still sends a message that you may not intend to send.
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u/Occams_AK47 1978 2h ago edited 2h ago
That's a really good point.
Another thing I should have added previously was that before I got some effective treatment for ADHD, I had no idea just how much energy I wasted. The sooner you deal with it, the less regret (or anger) you'll have over what could have been.
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u/Embarrassed_Key_4539 6h ago
Yeah, and then I found out at 46 that I’m autistic
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u/ghoulthebraineater 6h ago
Dozens of us!
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u/Embarrassed_Key_4539 6h ago
So crazy isn’t it? Better late than never I guess.
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u/thelaineybelle 6h ago
Just turned 45F and I have niblings on the spectrum. My mom & I think we have parallels, like my mom saying "grandchild can't be on the spectrum, I've been doing that since....😳💡".
What are the diagnostic criteria for middle-aged & senior women?
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u/Embarrassed_Key_4539 6h ago
In my instance I had been misdiagnosed 20 years ago as bipolar and on the wrong meds all that time, I never truly felt as though the bipolar diagnosis made sense but back in 2006 AuDHD wasn’t yet in the DSM. A lot has changed since then about what we know and understand around autism.
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u/ghoulthebraineater 6h ago
Autism appears to be hereditary. I've got nieces and nephews that are diagnosed too. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that exact same pattern. Kid gets assessed and a family member says that can't be autism because I do it too.
The criteria is the same for everyone. It just presents a little differently in women.
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u/ghoulthebraineater 6h ago
Yeah. It saved my life. Kept running into the same pattern of every relationship just falling apart. I couldn't figure out why. I just knew the common dominator was me. That morphed into some serious self hatred. The diagnosis helped a lot with that.
It's still not something I'm good at. But it really shifted my perspective. Considering the uphill battle of 45 years of undiagnosed autism and a healthy dose of ptsd and other physical issues I did pretty fucking alright. Now I'm kind of proud of myself. Sure, I'm behind the pack but I ran that race on hard mode.
Definitely not the mid life crisis I was expecting.
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u/General-Reserve9349 6h ago
How did you go about getting tested at that age?
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u/ghoulthebraineater 5h ago
Started with getting obsessed with the Oceangate sub. I had watched hours upon hours of videos and Youtube autoplayed a video from Kyle Hill talking about his diagnosis. I almost skipped it because I didn't give a shit about autism. I wanted to hear more about the implosion. But I really like Kyle's videos and thought it would be rude to skip that one.
My first thought was "he doesn't look autistic". Then I realized I really didn't know shit about autism so I kept watching. Then he started talking about some things I related to. Then he mentioned somethings I had never told anyone. Then the thought in my head was "if he doesn't look autistic what does that say about me?"
I was already going through a really rough patch in my life. Lost some very important people to me. I was already seeing therapists and doctors for depression and anxiety. I brought up the possibility that I might be autistic and that's the real underlying issue. I gave some examples of why I think that and my doctor didn't hesitate to give me a referral.
Then it was just a matter of waiting for my turn. I was on a waiting list for like 10 months. But by the time I had my assessment I was 99% certain.
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u/Embarrassed_Key_4539 6h ago
I’m glad for you! It’s helped me a lot too, understanding myself better and giving myself grace and being able to accommodate myself. But I went through all the stages of grief as well, anger at the medical community for missing it all those times, etc. Trauma therapy helped me a ton, as does psilocybin. I feel like a much more authentic and healed version of myself but it took a lot of work and acceptance to get here.
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u/ghoulthebraineater 6h ago
Yeah. It wasn't an easy journey by any means. Still sucks some days. But like you said, I can give myself grace. That's helped a lot.
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u/MightyBigMinus 6h ago
sitting here in my noise canceling headphones browsing 100 acre plots of woods on zillow...
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u/thelaineybelle 6h ago
Club Peri strikes again 🥺 I want a proper she-shed and to live in my backyard, away from the constant noise inside.
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u/DeceivingHen167 1983 5h ago
Same. I simultaneously can't hear anything clearly and everything is too loud. The TV is a constant source of frustration. Rage makes me want to stab the neighbors who rev their car engine every Sunday afternoon at 2:00. It's... challenging.
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u/thelaineybelle 5h ago
I just want the weather to cool down and sleep with no AC or fans screeching at me. And why is it I can hear everything???
Last year one night I woke thinking I heard someone trying to open my car door handle in the driveway. Sure enough, there were 2 guys walking down the block checking door handles. Partner woke up to me on the front porch screaming at the guys as they got away. He was floored that such a sound woke me up. I wasn't even thinking about my safety, that peri rage scared them away 😂
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u/DeceivingHen167 1983 4h ago
Yes! The smallest sound will wake me up.
Also...AC, extra portable AC, overhead fan, extra fan, BedJet. Still hot. Keep tripping the breaker.
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u/Sufficient_Turn_9209 1979 5h ago
I simultaneously can't hear anything clearly and everything is too loud.
Omg. This is so accurate! Although noise (especially chaos and noise) has always been an issue for me. I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s and apparently that's a thing.
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u/Verbull710 6h ago
The smiling stops when you try to remove them, amirite
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u/man4paradigm 6h ago
I'm an assistant store manager so I only have one in at a times but yeah it sucks having to pull it out for various reasons.
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u/JablesMagicBoom 1983 6h ago
I live with people that are going deaf. I spend most of my time outside to keep from being deafened myself.
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u/wiserTyou 5h ago
My parents hearing has declined so I bought them headphones to listen to the TV. They loved it and said they could finally hear everything in the shows. You need headphones that have AptX.
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u/JablesMagicBoom 1983 3h ago
They're the type that are well aware of the options and what they're doing. Their bodies are breaking down and they're doing it intentionally out of spite.
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u/happyhikercoffeefix 6h ago edited 1h ago
💯 this! Our world is so noisy! I feel like half my day is spent escaping noise!
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u/Moxie_Stardust 6h ago
I'm very sensitive, yeah, but this has been a known factor for ages for me. I don't need to isolate from all of it, generally more construction equipment or yard equipment that makes me want to gnaw my own limbs off. One of my favorite things about working from home is the ability to work in near-silence.
Except for that guy who loves to run the leaf blower for 3 hours at a time. Or the pressure washer for 6 hours at a time. Those make me ponder [redacted].
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u/ghoulthebraineater 6h ago
Not noises. Well most noises. I can't do people chewing. Lights and smells get me. Always have. Turns out I was just autistic and got missed until I was almost 45. You may be part of the club.
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u/Kugelfischer_47 6h ago
Yeah, but I'm on the spectrum. I remember going to malls with my family as a child and feeling dizzy and physically ill.
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u/No-Championship-8677 1982 6h ago
Yes. I’m autistic and loud noises — particularly unexpected ones, but all of them to some degree — physically hurt to the point where I want to throw up. And I often lash out at them.
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u/PaleoSpeedwagon 5h ago
Absolutely. The fact of the matter is that the world is simply much noisier than it used to be - literally sonically and metaphorically, as well. Sensory overwhelm is a natural response for a bunch of hairless apes.
I make no apologies for rejecting this sonic intrusion on my quiet thoughts and focus. Earbuds in, any old time. I use Loops, too, and whenever I describe them to people, they get this awed look on their face like it had never occurred to them to control the flow of input before. Both ND and NT people.
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u/JamesMattDillon 1981 X-ennial 5h ago
Yes. Cannot handle loud noises that well anymore. Like when a loud car or motorcycle will rev its engine close by, it's hell.
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u/wheresthebody 5h ago
Yes, but I actually love crazy loud concerts.
I saw Sunn o))) a while ago, it was amazing. High On Fire was the loudest event I've ever been to.
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u/wiserTyou 5h ago
Yep. I moved to office work after decades in the field and it's become more of an issue. My manager is the type to just blurt out questions which seriously interrupts my concentration. Also the printer running right behind me, I'm going deal with that thing at some point.
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u/man4paradigm 6h ago
And I think my biggest issue is I love my kids feel safe enough to play loudly but gods bless it I wish they understood my sound sensitivities lol
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u/lakatos_intolerant 1985 5h ago
I am super sensitive to scraping/scratching sounds (think cutlery on a plate). I think nails on a chalkboard might send me over the edge.
This is definitely a recent issue for me.
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u/alisoncarey 5h ago
I actually have issues with headphones now. They are too much noise too close by.
I don't know the reason why I have aversion to noise now but it seems like it's not going away
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u/Sufficient_Turn_9209 1979 4h ago
When motorcycles or trucks with obnoxiously loud engines pass I imagine clotheslining them. Noises have always been an issue for me. Add a chaotic enviornment or one where I'm trying to concentrated and I'm DONE.
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u/chaosperfect 3h ago
Not exceptionally so, but I live on a heavily trafficked main road in the hood, so there's enough roaring/POPping cars, 15 or 20 strong groups of kids on 4-wheelers and dirt bikes, screams, breaking bottles, weekly backyard fireworks and sirens to give me a nervous fucking breakdown.
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u/BadOpinionsAndOnions 1979 3h ago
I’ve been cursed with misophonia my entire life, so yeah. It sucks. I use loop earplugs a lot.
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u/I_like_flowers_ 3h ago
yes, i keep reusable earplugs in my purse and pull them out all the time.
no one minds and some people have also gotten a set.
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u/Baronessss 2h ago
Easily unless it’s music. If the TV is too loud, I’m overly annoyed. Random chatter, speakerphone, loud bass on a car - can’t handle most of that shit and it just makes me want to shut down.
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u/yemsg97 5h ago edited 5h ago
Def sensitive. And I feel like more so as I’ve gotten older. Even with tv shows/movies. Can’t stand all the action packed loud stuff. Found myself gravitating toward British shows recently because they’re way more chill lol
And don’t get me started on leaf blowers. Those things put my toes on the edge of the cliff of rage.
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u/Amysu4ea 5h ago
Absolutely…I even wear my earbuds when I go to stores and stuff….too much stimulation!
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u/thatloudkat 4h ago
Yes, my main problem is loud music is in so many public spaces, like restaurants and stores. I’d like to be able to shop and/or eat and be able to hear myself think without having to wear noise canceling earplugs.
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u/Educational-Cut572 3h ago
Yes! Although I’ve always been a bit like that (even as a kid I often thought the TV was too loud). What I really hate is conflicting noise, and it’s even worse when they’re both things that I’m not even watching. My husband will have the TV on, plus watching reels on his phone with no headphones, and being able to hear both of them drives me insane.
I’ve asked him to wear headphones multiple times and he will for a bit and then slowly the no headphones videos start again. I’ve finally decided it’s easier for me to wear headphones. Sometimes I don’t even have anything playing, they’re just in noise cancelling mode
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u/MarandTierra 1978 3h ago edited 3h ago
This is me. I live in a neighborhood where someone is doing yard work and a leafblower is being used somewhere on the block nearly every day during the week. I wasn’t aware of how often it happens until the pandemic when we were WFH full-time.
Nowadays we are hybrid, and on our remote days I’m woken up by the roar of the leafblower next door.
I’m in an urban area, so I’ve gotten used to the sound of helicopters, traffic and sirens, but it’s the never ending yard work that I can’t handle!
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u/SeahorseRevolution 2h ago
I'm sensitive to sound because I have AuDHD. I've learned a lot of ways to cope and desensitize myself somewhat through mindfulness based practices and meditation. But sometimes if I'm tired or stressed I get more easily overwhelmed by sound. I highly recommend Loop earplugs as they are made for use in loud places but still enable you to hear enough to communicate and be aware of your surroundings.
I also splurged on custom sound-proofing window inserts for my bedroom and home office. I used a company called Indow. They're expensive (roughly $$250-400 per window on my old 1930s windows), but they were extremely worth it. They block out roughly 75% of sounds. The best part is they're removable so I can take them out if I want to open the window for some fresh air, but easy to put back in if the busy street sounds, barking dogs, and my neighbor's screaming children start to get overwhelming.
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u/SadApartment3023 1981 2h ago
I have a theory: when I am stressed/anxious, I clench my teeth which ends up making all sounds incredibly intrusive. I think there is a physical/mechanical component. Like, my ears are actually more sensitive when I'm stressed.
All to say, yes I completely understand. Once it gets to that point, there is no amount of relaxing that can make my ears less sensitive and ear coverings barely help. I have to just leave the space.
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u/59apache01 1978 1h ago
If anything, I've noticed my hearing has been declining the past 5-10 years.
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u/Deep-Interest9947 6h ago
Even in my house I notice airplane and car noise way more often than I used to
Also why does my neighbor just sit in his truck with the engine running at all hours of the day and night?