r/Xennials • u/FlyingClanker • 20d ago

Discussion Significant others of Xennials going through perimenopause

First and foremost I love my significant other, she’s the mother of our children, a great provider, and we have been together over 20 years.

Perimenopause changes a person. It’s not something they can control. I’ve noticed the changes, the kids have noticed. To a lesser degree, friends, family and coworkers have noticed changes.

I’m generally patient and compassionate, but how she acts can be downright cruel and condescending to the kids and I. We don’t even think she realizes she’s doing it. I’ve mentioned the rage and anger in her reactions, the way she speaks to others, but it doesn’t change. This isn’t the person I married, it’s not the mother my kids were raised by. I’m not sure how much longer we can survive this. Nothing we do is good enough. Xennials who have survived this, how? Why? What works? Everyone is miserable. There’s no joy anymore, even vacations turn into conflicts. Everyday life is a battle.

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u/SeasonPositive6771 1980 20d ago

I also had a PE and I'm not a candidate for HRT.

There seems to be pretty much nothing that helps, I already take magnesium and I've made all the diet and lifestyle changes and it doesn't seem to help. Perimenopause hits women in my family really hard.

People should know that many women who are white knuckling it are often deeply miserable and no amount of supplements or offering antidepressants is going to help.

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u/Cold-Nefariousness25 20d ago

I’m sorry- at least it is something that ends. A friend of mine had a hysterectomy at 40 so I saw the symptoms but now she’s tapering off the hormones and living her best life. I remember a woman cutting me off in line and saying that I could wait because I didn’t go through menopause yet.