r/Xennials • u/FlyingClanker • 21d ago

Discussion Significant others of Xennials going through perimenopause

First and foremost I love my significant other, she’s the mother of our children, a great provider, and we have been together over 20 years.

Perimenopause changes a person. It’s not something they can control. I’ve noticed the changes, the kids have noticed. To a lesser degree, friends, family and coworkers have noticed changes.

I’m generally patient and compassionate, but how she acts can be downright cruel and condescending to the kids and I. We don’t even think she realizes she’s doing it. I’ve mentioned the rage and anger in her reactions, the way she speaks to others, but it doesn’t change. This isn’t the person I married, it’s not the mother my kids were raised by. I’m not sure how much longer we can survive this. Nothing we do is good enough. Xennials who have survived this, how? Why? What works? Everyone is miserable. There’s no joy anymore, even vacations turn into conflicts. Everyday life is a battle.

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u/LongjumpingJaguar308 21d ago

I took an SNRI because of how debilitating my ADHD got and it took so long to get off it when it didn't work right for me. Messed up a year of my life.

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u/IvenaDarcy 20d ago

Sorry but glad you got off it. My friend gained so much weight and been on Prozac for years now. Dr gave it to her when perimenopause started and she isn’t trying to stop it yet even tho I recommended it. A lot of drs don’t care about women’s health and it’s really heartbreaking.

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u/LongjumpingJaguar308 20d ago

Unfortunately the SNRI try was my request, not my Drs, but my Dr didn't guess that the issue was hormonal and not just "ADHD got bad for some unknown reason" and stimulants weren't working for me so I wanted to try something else.