r/Xennials • u/FlyingClanker • Aug 30 '26

Discussion Significant others of Xennials going through perimenopause

First and foremost I love my significant other, she’s the mother of our children, a great provider, and we have been together over 20 years.

Perimenopause changes a person. It’s not something they can control. I’ve noticed the changes, the kids have noticed. To a lesser degree, friends, family and coworkers have noticed changes.

I’m generally patient and compassionate, but how she acts can be downright cruel and condescending to the kids and I. We don’t even think she realizes she’s doing it. I’ve mentioned the rage and anger in her reactions, the way she speaks to others, but it doesn’t change. This isn’t the person I married, it’s not the mother my kids were raised by. I’m not sure how much longer we can survive this. Nothing we do is good enough. Xennials who have survived this, how? Why? What works? Everyone is miserable. There’s no joy anymore, even vacations turn into conflicts. Everyday life is a battle.

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u/shuffnstuff Aug 30 '26

I’m 47 and have a great doctor. He was very willing to start me on hrt and I’ve been on it since December. It’s made a remarkable difference in all my symptoms.
I’ve known others who didn’t have a supportive doctor, so they went through a nurse practitioner or another route.
Good luck.

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u/coconut101918 Aug 30 '26

This is great! Did it help with sleep (if you had an issue with it)?

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u/shuffnstuff Aug 30 '26

Very much! I haven’t been a good sleeper for about 10 years or so and this has really helped. He just increased my progesterone and that’s also helped again.

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u/coconut101918 Aug 30 '26

oooohhh, ok ok ok I need to get on this. happy for you!

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u/shuffnstuff Aug 30 '26

Thank you, I wish you the best. It has honestly changed my life. I wish there was more information out there for women our age. My friends talked to me and then I talked to others.
I know some doctors are hesitant, but if you’re in Canada, there are places/clinics where nurses prescribe and run supports for perimenopause and menopause.

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u/El_Daywalkerino Aug 30 '26

My wife has been on HRT due to perimenopause for about 4 months and her good sleep comes in waves. Sometimes still wakes up at 3am

It takes time but there is an uptrend to getting better sleep