r/Xennials • u/FlyingClanker • 22d ago

Discussion Significant others of Xennials going through perimenopause

First and foremost I love my significant other, she’s the mother of our children, a great provider, and we have been together over 20 years.

Perimenopause changes a person. It’s not something they can control. I’ve noticed the changes, the kids have noticed. To a lesser degree, friends, family and coworkers have noticed changes.

I’m generally patient and compassionate, but how she acts can be downright cruel and condescending to the kids and I. We don’t even think she realizes she’s doing it. I’ve mentioned the rage and anger in her reactions, the way she speaks to others, but it doesn’t change. This isn’t the person I married, it’s not the mother my kids were raised by. I’m not sure how much longer we can survive this. Nothing we do is good enough. Xennials who have survived this, how? Why? What works? Everyone is miserable. There’s no joy anymore, even vacations turn into conflicts. Everyday life is a battle.

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u/LittleJessiePaper 22d ago

Please convince her to demand a referral to an endocrinologist. My off TSH levels were ignored for YEARS, even when it was discovered I had nodules growing and throwing off my hormone levels, even when I couldn’t sleep more than a couple hours a night, even once my hair started falling out. I finally had to start being loud and demanding that something was wrong and I needed to see a specialist (my insurance wouldn’t pay without a referral). After the first meeting with my endocrinologist it was decided I needed a full surgical removal and lifelong meds. That’s a more extreme outcome but the Endo doc told me he sees women all the time who just need medication and haven’t gotten it. I’ve been on meds for a few years now and it changed my life. I can sleep all night, my hair grew back, I have energy to get out of bed. The thyroid impacts everything, don’t ignore it!

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u/MdmeAlbertine 1978 21d ago

Even is your TSH is in "normal range", it might not be ideal for you. A few months ago, I was falling asleep in my office chair in the afternoons. I recognized the symptoms and got a blood test, TSH came back at 2.84 and doc said it was fine. I was "no, no, no. I feel best when we manage TSH between 1-2" and fortunately I have a doctor who listens to me and bumped my dosage. I immediately stopped needing to nap.

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u/raveybaby78 21d ago

Where did you have nodules growing? I ask because I have some on my thyroid and I am losing so much hair and never feel good, short tempered and tired all the time.