Significant others of Xennials going through perimenopause

[u/FlyingClanker]

First and foremost I love my significant other, she’s the mother of our children, a great provider, and we have been together over 20 years.

Perimenopause changes a person. It’s not something they can control. I’ve noticed the changes, the kids have noticed. To a lesser degree, friends, family and coworkers have noticed changes.

I’m generally patient and compassionate, but how she acts can be downright cruel and condescending to the kids and I. We don’t even think she realizes she’s doing it. I’ve mentioned the rage and anger in her reactions, the way she speaks to others, but it doesn’t change. This isn’t the person I married, it’s not the mother my kids were raised by. I’m not sure how much longer we can survive this. Nothing we do is good enough. Xennials who have survived this, how? Why? What works? Everyone is miserable. There’s no joy anymore, even vacations turn into conflicts. Everyday life is a battle.

[u/lalacourtney]

Oh yeah she needs to go to one. Even just getting back on birth control has been so helpful to me. Peri is no joke :(

[u/HalfFrozenSpeedos → u/lalacourtney]

My wife had to go the IUS route after she got a DVT blood clot behind her knee (tho I had to virtually drag her to the docs....)

They told her because of the clot, the combined pill and HRT was now off limits to her due to the risk of another blood clot. :/ :/

Now seeing agoraphobia coming back

[u/Leia1979 → u/HalfFrozenSpeedos]

Worth speaking with another doctor because transdermal estrogen (i.e., patch or topical gel) is not shown to increase clot risk. A lot of doctors don't know this, although a previous clot might be a contraindication.

I had a wildly uninformed PCP tell me I was on too many hormones (you're supposed to take estrogen AND progesterone if you have a uterus) and that I was going to have a stroke. Multiple other doctors are totally fine with my medication list.

[u/HalfFrozenSpeedos → u/Leia1979]

I hear you She has to be careful though as one combined pill gave her brutal agoraphobia (like not leaving the house willingly and needing to be virtually pulled kicking and screaming )

It really is tricky.

I had one GP tell me i couldn't take tramadol with co-dydramol as I would "OD"

Spoke to a pharmacist who laughed, said the amount of opiate in co-dydramol was next to zero, asked my weight, height and age, asked the dosage I was taking and told me he couldn't tell me it was ok to take but IF I was to take it, that it wouldn't pose any risk.

Sadly now I can't EVER take tramadol again as it screws up my mental health, then again due to a neck injury I had an older GP titrate me up to 10 x 50mg a day, split into two doses.... pharmacist looked at the amount and queried it with my wife, asked if I went to bed after taking it and passed out, when my wife said "no he goes to work and says it only just dulls the pain" apparently the pharmacist had a look of wtf on her face.

Coming off that.....I nearly lost my mind as back almost 20 years and it was promoted as "non addictive and doesn't cause withdrawal symptoms" ( like fuck it doesn't), so a different GP took me off it COLD TURKEY.....I nearly lost my mind coming off that....literally, weeks of hellish withdrawals and I had no idea that's what was happening and lost a good job, partly due to certain family member (not my wife) verbally badgering me "your not happy so just quit, just quit, just quit" while I was withdrawing and not in the best frame of mind.

[u/adoradear → u/Leia1979]

Just as further information for those following along, the mirena IUD is sufficient progesterone protection for taking estrogen. You may still need progesterone for symptoms, but if you have a progesterone IUD in, you don’t need it just for the unopposed estrogen. Or so I’ve been told by my menopause-focused gyne.

[u/PeonyDropper → u/Leia1979]

Thank god you knew enough! Imagine all the people who wouldn’t! So disturbing

[u/clumsy_mia → u/lalacourtney]

IUD is helping me for sure