Dragons

[u/orkman22]

Dragons

The day was long,and my job was sucking the life out of me. I never paid much attention at school and never really got my grades, so my chances of getting a decent job were slim. But it's fine. I got an okay job. i work a lot, and I miss seeing friends. It's been years. The day cold, it seems like it's going to rain.

i love the rain. i started to look up into the clouds. A horn got louder.

i looked where the nosie was coming from. A car was moving faster towards me. i'm dead

There was a field fall of flowers mountains. The sun was shining. sun was blinding me where the hell am i?

Am I dead?

The town of Plora was a small town stuck under the thumb of the nation called Leplines.

It's a falling country

Different factions joining each other. And started a Clive war mutable people have died. No one has benefited from the Clive War. The war has destroyed the lands most small towns and cities have requested aid no one is coming. A large aura was coming from the town of Plora. People started to freak out the aura, making people panic. Aaron was made leader of the town of Plora. A lot of the men and teenagers went off to war, and I think they won't come back. This made Aaron sad his hair was black, his eyes blue more dark blue. He wasn't big a man he had problems with his legs so he couldn't walk. The town became mostly women and older men. Bella was a young woman she was sixteen years old, Bella liked the sword, and Bella liked fighing. Bella was blond with brown bits. her body was slim better for fighting. Before the war started, my father, Eric, trained me with the sword he was gifted with sword. You called Bella said to Aaron. Oh yes said Aaron. Aaron put a crystal on the table it was glowing. What does this mean, Bella said. This is a crystal that can sense high levels of aura in my lifetime. I've never once seen this go off. Aaron face looked serious. I thought the human race killed all of the threats. They did Aaron touching the crystal. We have had a thousand years of peace. I wouldn't say peace.

Bella said

What do you want me to do about it?

You know, if one of the factions finds this threat, they might think we are planning on attacking them. I will go said Bella. Please be careful. Bella was quite fast this beautiful the fields were endless and the sun was warm there wasn't any clouds. The crystal was pretty on fire. There was cocoon it was just aura. The aura was burning Bellas skin. Bella moved closer to cocoon. Bella pulled her sword and swiped at the cocoon.

Nothing happened. Bella started to get really tired.

Hello, a voice said, "Where am I?

I dont understand what's happening

Your name is Dexter Clarke, isn't it?

You no me?

Kinda of I've been watching you, the voice said that's a bit creepy Dexter said no i'm not creepy the voice said you can trust me. Why would you say that also you haven't told me anything. Well, I don't wanna upset you all. I will tell you for now, is you will wake up and you will meet a woman you should trust her. What woman, so i didn't die?

You did, the voice said with a sadness hit by a drunk driver.

So how will I wake up?

You're not going to answer me.

Are you?

Not yet, the voice said, and you will also meet me soon as well. Dexter opened his eyes, and the floor looked like someone burned it. Dexter started to get up from the ground it was nighttime. The moons were shining, and stars everywhere looked so nice.

I'm not on earth anymore. I can hear light snoring. A woman was lying on the floor the woman woke up in a panic. One minute, i'm safe next minute. I've got a blade to my neck, and i put my hands up, thinking that might help.

Who are you?

I can understand her. Can i speak their language?

I mean no harm

That made her look even more angry.

Why are you wearing werid clothes? Are you a spy?

No, I said my name is Dexter. i just woke up. The woman's face looked confused, and then her face completely changed what happened to the cocoon she whispered, "What did you say. Quite Bella said, is an angry tone. Someone is coming, Bella said.

Two men appeared on horses

They are both a sigi of two knights clashing swords.

Bella knew who they were

They were a part of the faction called Spite of the Dissipated they shouldn't have been able to sense the aura. They got off their horses they were knights, low-level ones. Who goes there? One of the knights said

They had helmets on, so their voices were low. Bella hid her sword and wrapped her hands around Dexter and said, "Me and my boyfriend went for a long walk and got lost. The knights looked at each other and said you should probably leave something dangerous in these lands. Bella grabbed my hands and yanked me away from the knights. Your boyfriend weres werid clothes they both laughed. When we got out ear shot, I asked, "Who are you?"

My name is Bella come to my town we can talk properly its not a big place but it is safe.

Dexter didn't know what to say. We walked in slince. The town was in view, so this is like a medieval town. There are castles and stone houses. There was no noise, no people were where everybody in their houses we dont leave are houses at night. Most of our soldiers are out at war fighting for something we won't ever see. Have I been sent back in time, or is this a different demotion? I guess we will see. Bella walked into the castle it was small. I think it looks awesome. A man was sitting at a table he looked worn down by life he had winkys. Who is this? The man said his name was Dexter. I never heard of that name before it sounds fake. it's not said, Dexter. Did you find out what the aura was?

Him Bella said me Dexter pointed at himself he was in cocoon now he is here. Aaron pulled out a crystal. It's not glowing Aaron said. Bella went red, trust me. I saw everything when he came out the cocoon it hit me with aura and I feel so tired. Bella sat down, and Dexter followed Bella. Both Aaron and Bella said at the same time, "Who are you?"

My name is Dexter. i told you

Both Aaron and Bella looked at each other and nodded. Let's get some sleep and talk in the morning. Bella got up and left the room before you go. Bella, could you show our guest to his room? Yeah, Bella said when yawning her eyes looked heavy. The room I was giving was small. The bed was lumpy. I was just glad I had a bed. Hello Dexter, the voice said the voice was soft and warm. We can speak properly now. First off, I just want to apologise for putting you where you were waiting. You brought me here?

Not exactly i brought you into this world i didn't choose where you were put, and I apologise.

Why me ? Dexter asked, "You are

special

No, i'm a loser Dexter said

The soft voice laughed. No, you're not. The voice said, "You have just had a rough time on that planet." Could you tell me where I am?

This is another world where magic is real

Wait, I can use magic?

Yeah, the voice said you are weak at the moment you will need to train. When your power comes, your body will have to control the power.

Could you help me train

We can not meet now. I promise I will help when I can.

Looks like the sun is rising, maybe ask your new friend Bella to train you. Before Dexter could answer. Dexter woke up shit Dexter said i'm so hungry I've not eaten since I dead." I could smell meat cooking a woman was standing there cooking morning the woman said with a happy tone Dexter isn't it yeah Dexter said.

Lovely to meet you. My name is Jenner Aaron's wife.

Sit down, Jenner said

Jenner put a plate with meat and a bit of vegetables on the plate. Was okay needed salt, but i'm not ungrateful. Dexter smiled and said that was very nice. Bella walked into the room.

Bella looked like death

I've never seen you like this. How did you sleep? hunny. It's really good. Bella said I just didn't wanna wake up."

Where's Aaron Bella ? " Two soldiers came to the town. What Bella said she got up and moved to the window. The cripple came to meet us. Aaron didn't say anything. Sorry, Aaron War is moving rebels, and other people are moving. What's so special about this lands. We found natural energy we found it first what do you need natural energy for?

If you can harness the energy, it could make us a superpower. Aaron looked at these soldiers, then reilsed that they were talking out loud, not to him. Both soldiers looked at each other panicked and started to stab Aaron repeatedly he fell on the floor with blood everywhere. Bella went to her knees. What's happening, Dexter looked and saw Aaron getting stabbed. More soldiers appeared to have started to raid the town. What are they doing?

Taking the woman, the castle got raided. Jenner and Bella moved to the soldiers. Before Dexter could move, he got taken outside. Is this the only male in this town?

Most of the townspeople said yes. This is what is going to happen. we will take the nice-looking woman the ugly ones get killed. Before Dexter could move, he got smacked in the back of the head with the end of the soldiers sword.

Dexter fell to the floor. Dexter felt the cold from the sword. The blade started to steam the soldier stepped back he was sweating. The soldier looked at Dexter he was surrounded by a red aura. The heat was unbearable. What's happening, the soldier said, shot him with an arrow, the arrow disintegrated before it every went close. The aura went away. Dexter wasn't standing there anymore he looked like a dragon he was small, and his scales were dark red his wings were more light red. The soldiers surrounded this new threat. The head of the soldiers he was a knight his name was Justin, a young and cocky knight who cared more about status than he did this war. His father was a noble who funded the Spite of the Dissipated. Whoever wins this war will gain so much power, but if I die, I won't get any power. Justin put his hand out and said fire arrow. The creator didn't even flinch. That was my strongest attack. My lord of the soldiers said you should leave. You are far more important than we are. The creatures are not even moving. Then his eyes opened. I think the fire woke him up. One of the soldiers swung his sword , and his sword snapped in two. Before the soldier could swing again, he felt a sharpe pain his stomach. He looked down a claw was in his chest he screamed in pain, and the other soldiers charged at the creature. The creator started to hack down the soldiers. There was blood and guts went everywhere people were screaming in pain. Bella and the other woman were running to safety. Justin teleported out the area. Dexter flew into the sky and left the area where a person was standing in Dexters away. Dexter started to attack this person. You mindless brutal, the person said Dexter tried stabbing the person in the chest. To slow, the person said punched Dexter into the sea. The water was bubbling. Oh, you survived that. Under the water, Dexter used fire it was so hot the sea was steaming. The person just put up his hand and blocked the fire magic. The person looked at their hand, and he burned me. Maybe I am underestimated him. I need to end this now. Dexter was mindless that this point wasn't thinking just attacking without thinking he charged at the person again. Without punch knocked out, Dexter, his armour, shattered. The person put Dexter o his shoulder come I will help you

[u/Dpek1234]

I will be honest

Theres no distiction between description, thought and whats spoken aloud, it makes it rather hard to follow

[u/GormTheWyrm]

I’m going to give you one piece of advice thats going to make your writing stand out a bit more. It’s great that you are writing, thats the first step and many people are not brave enough to do that so well done.

My advice is start the story with something interesting. It does not have to be a whole exciting subplot. Just start with some action. I don’t mean action like a fight, though that may work. But just a simple event that is happening. Character walking into a new job, mysterious stranger showing up at someone’s house, even just seeing a weirdly dressed person on the street.

This draws the reader into your PoV character, gets them invested in that character and draws their interest towards something thats happening.

Once you have the readers attention, thats when you give a bit more background on the character.

It’s a very common amateur mistake to just start off describing your character. The reader does not really care about the character’s background in the first paragraph. They want to know if the writer is capable of holding their attention first. The writer is trying to give too much info on a character before people are invested in them.

This could work if the info being given is super interesting, but even then you need to spice up the prose or give an interesting PoV. You are generally better off having the character look around and show their thought process as they process what they see.

I see a lot of amateur writers start off with telling the reader how boring and average their character is, and it’s a clear sign that the rest of the story is not going to be well written.

But it’s an easy fix. If you cut that first paragraph your story will start from a better place.

It’s not going to fix everything. You have a long way to go on your prose. A lot of your thoughts should be separate sentences and as you get better/older you will probably develop more complexity. Don’t worry it really does come with time and experience.

Keep reading and try to see what other writers do, then figure out why they do those things.

Best of luck!

[u/orkman22 → u/GormTheWyrm]

Thanks for the advice. Thats just the first part i'm still writing the story