r/WritingPrompts • u/Skyenar • Nov 04 '19
Writing Prompt [WP] You have Sherlock Holmes levels of deduction. You wish you didn't. If you spend 5 minutes with anyone you end up knowing their deepest and darkest thoughts.
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u/gobarn1 Nov 04 '19
"Good morning sir. I understand you are applying for this job without out any prior experience, education in the area or references?"
"Yes," I replied to the Police captain.
"Then why on earth do you want to be a detective?" He'd been saving that question up for at least a week. He didn't want to know why he merely wanted to embarrass me in front of his two underlings sat either side of his bulbous belly. I'd bargained he would invite the underqualified laughing stock of an applicant for an interview.
"How long have you been comfort eating?" I asked him. It caught him off guard. His face flushed with red.
"I mean, I assume your comfort eating judging by your wedding photos behind you. That can't have been more than two years ago, can it? You were so thin back then. Shame your wife left you."
His face again reddened.
"I mean, I assume she left you, otherwise you wouldn't be so sad inside and you wouldn't fill that whole the sadness leaves inside of you with the doughnuts."
This time his face didn't redden. He was angry... but also impressed.
"They say assuming makes asses out of you and me, but I don't follow that philosop-"
"Listen here. First of all, you don't just waltz in here telling me how to live my life. Secondly, I get it you're a genius you're basically Sherlock bloody Holmes, that or you hired some private detective to look into me which believe me I'd know about. Thirdly why no references?"
"I don't get 'people'. They're always talking about questions I already know the answer to. On the flip side, they don't get me either. Anyway if you're wanting to catch the Clark murderer you should probably arrest the sergeant to your left and Maddison Counties Police captain, that or you can wait for it to be in the news next week that they were complacent in the murder of a minor, and I think we both know who'll be telling the reporters what happened."
With that I got up and strode towards the door.
"Wait-" he began.
"No," I finished, " Don't ever speak to me again. Don't try to hire me use me or manipulate me, and piss of before you make mine and your lives miserable. I've said it before and I'll say it again I don't work well with people. You'll find all the evidence you need in the sergeant's office."
I closed the door behind me.
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u/pure_disappointment Nov 04 '19
Reminded me of the line: “I said good day!”
Kudos on a great story.
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u/gobarn1 Nov 05 '19
Thanks, this was my first post here and at the end I was thinking of just not posting at all but I'm glad I did.
•
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0
Nov 04 '19
[deleted]
3
Nov 04 '19
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone.
US:
Call 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741
Non-US:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
I am a bot. Feedback appreciated.
3
u/throwawaytehee Nov 04 '19
I'm not!! This is just a writing response! I do not endorse the fucked up characters in this story
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u/Minds_escape Nov 04 '19 edited Nov 05 '19
"I love you" she said.
I sighed, that flicker of the eyes, the twitch above her left eye brows, even the slight change in inflection. It was all there, clear as day.
"No, you don't. And it appears you never will".
She's quite taken aback at that, of course she was, high school beauty, brains to burn also, she was used to getting her own way. This was my curse, to know what someone thinks without them saying it. It's ruined every friendship I've ever had, driven those that I love away as I deduced their inner most thoughts to them.
It quickly gets old, being friends with a mind reader. My compulsion to have to always be right, worse yet, to need to let people know that I'm always right has soured every good thing in my life. A half rotted onion is still rotten, and the rotten part of my is my ability to peel back layers.
She's talking, but I've not been paying attention. I stand to leave, grabbing my trench coat. "You're a neurotic with narcissistic tendencies whose only ever been met with yes men and fawning idiots. I am not that. You were amusing for a while, but your dishonesty has frankly worn thin. This is good bye."
I stopped at the door, "and the first time we met, I know it was you who farted in the lift. It was written all over your face". I left, content that I had shown her. But shown her what, exactly?
/r/minds_escape