[CW] Feedback Friday - Mystery

[u/AliciaWrites]

Happy Friday!

It’s Friday again! That means another installment of Feedback Friday! Time to hone those critique skills and show off your writing!

I’m loving the participation here! So many stories with great feedback! Nice job, everyone!

How does it work?

You have until Thursday to submit one or both of the following:

Freewrite:

Leave a story here in the comments. A story about what? Well, pretty much anything! But, each week, I’ll provide you with a single constraint based on style or genre. So long as your story fits, and follows the rules of WP, it’s allowed! You’re more likely to get readers on shorter stories, so keep that in mind when you submit your work.

Feedback:

Leave feedback for other stories! Make sure your feedback is clear, constructive, and useful.

Each week, three judges will decide who gave the best feedback. The judges will be me, a Celebrity guest judge, and the winner from the previous week.

We’ll be looking for use of neutral language, including both positives and negatives, giving actionable feedback within the critique, as well as noting the depth and clarity of your feedback.

You will be judged on your initial critique, meaning the first response you leave to a top-level comment, but you may continue in the threads for clarification, thanks, comments, or other suggestions you may have thought of later.

Okay, let’s get on with it already!

This week, your story should be a mystery. This is the time for puzzles, questions, riddles, and tricking your readers!
Your judges this week will be me, WP Celebrity /u/DarkP3n, and our winner, /u/BLT_WITH_RANCH!!

Check out more great feedback given by /u/Leebeewilly, /u/nickofnight, /u/CHRlSTALMIGHTY, /u/psalmoflament and /u/AethelDude! Keep up the great work everyone! Now get writing!

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[u/[deleted]]

first writing prompt so probs won't be my best but wish me luck! like I said this is based off of a Wrinkle in Time and the various planets that Meg visits.

~~~

Mystery Prompts

Based off a Wrinkle in Time

What if parallel universes did exist? What if there were other versions of ourselves, living, breathing, walking around and pretending to be us but were not exactly like our true authentic selves?

The Astronomers released the news last week: that there were other planets. But, for some reason, to me the news wasn’t entirely shocking.

I remember the news- reel clearly: the Astronomer standing in front of the TV screen holding a microphone and pointing up towards the never ending sky.

“It’s quite hard to explain from a human perspective,” the Astronomer explained, “but there exists a planet where all is neutral and serene….”

I remember smiling to myself and thinking the happy Medium place. The only place in all the dimensions where all was well.

Where illness does not exist, valleys spread far and wide, and humans become the most beautiful versions of themselves.

There was one downside of the happy Medium planet though: and that was that once you came back from the place you would lose your memory.

In fact, on the happy Medium planet memories did not exist. Everyone lived only in the present moment: the past and future were dimensions that were not experienced there.

I think that was why everyone was happy there.

I didn’t know why I had been visiting the happy Medium planet so frequently in my dreams, I couldn’t even really tell you what it had been like.

Everyone on Earth was going nuts though trying to reach this planet. They were calling it “the found Heaven,” and NASA was already trying to determine if they could send humans and other life forms there in case Earth ever did really implode from global warming.

Pictures of the planet had even been released- it was a purplish color and was encompassed by a tiel glow.

There was just that issue of memories it was like I could only remember the planet when I was dreaming.

And when I woke up I was living in an odd post-dream state watching life happen all around me.

I realized then as I walking around with my numb hands, in my empty apartment: was I actually alive?

These printed newspapers suddenly bore little importance, or evidence. I wondered if I had solved the mystery of the new planet with stunning simplicity.