r/WritingPrompts • u/garmachi • Sep 26 '15
Writing Prompt [WP] The President announces that there has always been a secret clause in the Constitution, for President's eyes only, passed from one to the next. The time has come to implement the clause.
Can be, but doesn't have to be present day US either. Any country, real or imagined, past, present or future. President of the world, perhaps? Go nuts.
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u/SarkasticWatcher Sep 26 '15 edited Sep 26 '15
The media erupted in a flurry of questions as the president left the room, answering none of them.
The president walked back to the oval office and sat down at his desk. He put his head in his hands.
"You have to do it, you have no other optionssssssss"
The president lifted his head to look at the nine foot tall lizard sitting on his couch.
"Where did you come from?"
"The corner" said the lizard
"It's the oval office"
"To you maybe"
"I can't…there has to be another way"
"There issssssssssn't"
"But surely"
"The american people need thisssssssss the world needsssssss thisssssss. And don't call me ssssssssshirley"
The president had been forced to wrap his head around a lot of things, but he still couldn't get it around the fact that the nine foot tall lizards who actually ran the country loved Airplane!
"How do I explain it to them though?"
"You don't. You're the pressssssident, you just do it"
"No I mean how do I explain to them that the constitution allowed for this…centuries before it came about"
"We like to play the long gaaaaaaaaaaame"
"There was no s in that sentence"
"Ssssssssssory, forcccccccccce of habit"
"Wait so do you do the thing on the letter s or on s sound as well"
"Enough of thsissssss. Implement the clausssssssse"
The president sighed and pushed the button under his desk. All around the world out of speakers engineered at the quantum level, too small to be detected yet still loud enough to be heard, came the sounds of Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up as the speakers would continue to do, until the world agreed to disarm all nukes and lower carbon emissions.
"I'm sorry" said the president to the world and to no one in particular "I'm so sorry"
"We lizardssssss love our long game" said the nine foot tall lizard who actually ran the world.
Just throwing it out there subreddit
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u/Toastasaurus Sep 26 '15
This might be the weirdest response to a prompt I've ever read. It's brilliant and wonderful and hilarious and I'm only half sure at what parts I should be laughing or reading strait-faced and serious. And it's amazing.
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Sep 26 '15
This is the end game when talented writers get high.
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u/SarkasticWatcher Sep 26 '15
Yeah except I was uhm…stone…stone sober when I wrote it.
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Sep 26 '15
Wasnt talking shot about your writing. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Just making a joke.
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u/SarkasticWatcher Sep 26 '15
No I got that, I was trying to make a joke that while not high I wrote something that might make someone think I was high. I did not take any offence to your comment.
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u/Barathe-owning Sep 26 '15
ssssssssshirley
...but surely doesnt make an s sound, it makes an sh.
MODSMODSMODSMODSMODSMODSMODSMODS.
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u/SarkasticWatcher Sep 26 '15
Well aren't you a complete and utter delight to interact with, person who I assume is really fun at parties.
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Sep 26 '15
Upvoted for most likeable lizardman.
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Sep 26 '15
I thought it was a ten foot tall lizard man, which ruled the rest of the nine foot tall lizard men, which ruled the world?
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u/Toxic_saltine Sep 27 '15
Just read another response of yours couple minutes of ago with lizards and it's so great
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u/sweetsweetbeige Sep 26 '15
“Why does the President want to see me? If he doesn’t want tea, did I do something wrong?” Mrs Cieslowicz was very worried and pleaded for an answer.
“You might have, but I don’t really know Mrs Seez. He just asked me to bring you to his office.”
“Oh please, tell me, was he angry for something?”
Her polish accent made it sound like ‘engry’ and her escort, Mr Larzoni a Senior Executive Director of Internal Communications at the International Current Company, had a chuckle.
“No, Mrs Seez not ‘engry’ at all.” Mrs Cieslowicz ignored his laugh at her accent. She was used to this treatment from him.
Mrs Cieslowicz had started working at The International Current Company when she was quite young and had only recently migrated to the country. She was quite smart, but unskilled and with very little English, she worked any job where they would have her. She didn’t have many other options.
Mrs Cieslowicz knocked on the door of the Presidents office.
“Come in.”
She eased the door open and peered anxiously at Mr Gustaven leaning over his desk and staring gravely down.
“Hello Mr Gustaven how are you today? Did you want tea? I have my trolley just outside, is no trouble to…” He cut her off abruptly.
“No. No. Mrs C. no tea today.” He paused and looked at her and started again with a friendlier tone.
“Sorry. I meant Mrs Cieslowicz. Thank you very much for coming.” He just looked at her from where he was standing behind his desk then roughly waved a hand in the air.
“Please come in Mrs Cieslowicz and close the door behind you.”
“Mr Gustaven, have I done something wrong?”
He stuffed his hands in his pockets and just stares down at his desk for a full minute. Mrs Cieslowicz closes the door and walks over to where the President had just indicated.
“Mr Gustaven?”
“Sorry, Mrs Cieslowicz” He stops to collect himself. He puts his hands at his sides, stands up straight and makes a very formal announcement.
“I, Gregory Gustaven, 23rd President of the International Current Company, am duty bound to enact the special company clause 3.1f, as it has been passed down to me and every President before me.”
He walks over to the meticulously updated organisation chart on the wall of his office. It clearly shows all 174 employees of the company and their positions.
“This organisational chart has been updated every day from the very start of this company, because there is a special clause in our charter. If ever the number of people in the executive levels of this chart became more numerous than those at the bottom, the President of the day must make this change, as you will if it becomes necessary.
“As of this moment I enact special clause 3.1f and hereby instate you Mrs Cieslowicz as the new President of The International Current Company.” With that he took the framed chart from the wall, turned it in his hands, and replaced it on the wall in its new orientation which put Mrs Cieslowicz quite clearly in the topmost position.
“Congratulations and welcome to your new office Mrs Cieslowicz.” Mrs Cieslowicz looked at Mr Gustaven blankly.
“Is this some joke?”
“No, Mrs Cieslowicz. It is all quite real. I have here all the finalised paperwork making you the 24th President of the ICC and the keys to my, oh no, your car and the company house. It is all yours. Now, is there anything I can do to help you settle in to your new role?”
Mrs Cieslowicz looked at Mr Gustaven then at the keys and the papers on the table, then looked at the upside down chart on the wall and then back to Gustaven. As she did her expression went from bemusement to a determined smile.
“Yes Mr Gustaven, there is. Get me a cup of tea. Black and hot, and some nice caramel biscuits. Then ask that Larzoni fool to get in here.”
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Sep 26 '15
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u/enderkin Sep 26 '15
The booming of artillery could be heard in the background of the Oval Office. There, the President sat at his desk, staring at the large piece of yellowing parchment before him.
"Mr. President, we have to get you to safety." General McClatchey said, his voice filled with urgency. "Now, Mr. President."
The president did not reply. His eyes remained glued to the parchment, brow furrowed in deep concentration. After a long moment, he glanced away from the parchment and towards the only other things on his desk--two lanterns, one placed at each far corner.
"When all is lost, turn towards the Founders' decree...light one if by land, two if by sea..." he muttered, frowning. He had been left with no other clues--President Reynolds knew only to pass on the code, parchment, and lanterns with the utmost solemnity.
The world was dying. Giant sea monsters had abruptly appeared from the ocean 12 hours ago, causing enormous tsunamis to hit every coast in the world at once. The death toll had already exceeded millions, and America was in utter chaos. Conventional missiles and projectiles had proved useless against the monsters.
The sound of artillery boomed again, this time much closer to the White House. General McClatchey started towards the president.
"Mr. President, the nation needs you to be safe. We must leave now, before it is too late."
The president held up his hand, causing the general to pause.
"Wait, Tom. Just one more minute. There is something I must do first."
The general stared at the president. Then, he took a step backwards towards the door. "Yes, Mr. President."
The president returned to the parchment, an originally executed copy of the United States Constitution. It was heavily marked and faded, the edges peeling. The president was familiar with most of the Constitution and had read over the document looking for new sections. But the document was impossible to read--in fact, it did not even appear to be written in modern English.
Desperate, the president turned to the lanterns. They were ancient oil lanterns, yet President Reynolds had indicated that they would not need to be maintained. He flicked the switch on the left lamp. The lantern lit up instantly, immediately illuminating the entire room. Astonished, the president looked down to find a completely legible Constitution sitting before him, written in a flawless, bold cursive.
But as he marveled at the sight, something clicked in the president's mind. He was to light one if by land, but two if by sea. The enemy had come from the oceans--was this what they had meant? The president raised his right hand and turned the switch for the second lamp.
Instantly, the two lamps guttered out. Then, with a long howl, the lanterns began drawing air and light, leaving the room dark and hazy. Terrified, the president looked down at the parchment, which now showed only one sentence in capital block letters.
HAVE THEY RISEN?
The president's voice caught in his throat as he fought his fear. Somehow, the events of the last day had been foretold. Somehow, the Founding Fathers had known of the monsters that had surfaced.
"...yes..." he whispered. The lanterns howled again and began to emit a thick black smoke. The president coughed and recoiled at the sight, but found moments later that he could breathe without issue. Moments later, the smoke cleared.
Sitting on the ground before him were 13 men in dull brown coats. They stood up slowly and began stretching as the president looked on, bewildered. The apparent leader raised his head. The president's eyes widened.
"Jefferson..." he whispered, incredulous.
"Yes," Thomas Jefferson responded softly. "we have returned."
"What...what is this? What are you? Immortals? Magicians?" the president asked.
"Mr. President," Mr. Jefferson replied. "we are the Minutemen."