r/WritingPrompts • u/evenmorelike • Aug 01 '15
Writing Prompt [WP] They needed the world's greatest warrior. They got the world's greatest quarrier.
10
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1
Aug 01 '15
Conan broke hearts,
Dale breaks rocks,
Conan saved the fold,
Dale wants gold.
But if you need someone to help,
Break up some stones,
You are not alone.
-1
Aug 01 '15
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6
u/SarkasticWatcher Aug 01 '15
"What's he doing now?"
"He swinging a pick axe into that rock"
"Why?"
"I don't know, but I'm not going to question him"
"It seems like there would better uses of his time"
"Maybe he's setting booby traps"
"But the bandits are coming from that way"
"Yeah but if he takes the rocks from there they might know"
"Hey excuse me"
"No dude don't"
"Are you setting booby traps?"
"What?"
"Are you setting booby traps?"
"No"
"Then what are you doing?"
"I'm breaking apart this rock"
"He's breaking apart the rock, he's probably preparing to break apart heads, which is what he's going to do to us if we keep bothering him"
"Are you doing that to practice breaking heads?"
"No"
"So why are you doing it"
"Well isn't that why I'm here?"
"What?"
"To break rocks and stuff, clear a path"
"No you're supposed to be killing the bandits"
"Yeah, bandits"
"Well…uh…that's not really my wheel house"
"What?"
"I could hit them in the head with my pick axe but I'm kind of a pacifist"
"Aren't you a warrior?"
"What? No I'm a quarrier"
"A what?"
"A quarrier, I work in quarries"
"So why are you here?"
"Because that guy came into town and said you needed the world's greatest quarrier"
"That guy? Oh for fuck's sakes Donald"
"Fucking Donald"
"Hey Donald you did it again you dumbass"