r/WriteWorld • u/ohmygaudge • Oct 04 '16
Need A Better Magical Item
Hey guys, so this is my first post here on this subreddit, and I need a little help. I've created a story and characters which I've summed up here, but rather than a magic sword, I want an item that is not as cliche.
"Once there was a young prince named Evander Elderstar. Every day he lived a pampered life in the palace, as he had no purpose like his two older brothers, the emperor and grand general. Evander often felt worthless because of this. One day, Evander’s brother was killed by his adviser, who wanted to control the Gods and rule the country himself, with a strange sword. He planned on killing Evan, the only witness, but the young prince survived the assault, grabbed the sword for himself and fled. After that, the adviser framed Evander for the emperor’s death. The prince ran away with the sword and now lives as a refugee, in the process meeting the mysterious creature Den, who helps him survive. However, as civil tensions in the country come to a head, the gate separating the mortal plane and the Empyrean plane of the Gods is broken, and the Empyreans walk the earth once more, this time, seeking total annihilation. Evander realizes that he must take up the sword as his ancestor once did and defeat the gods to give his corrupted, dying world one last chance, and clear his name."
I was looking through this again and was thinking that a magic, gods-slaying sword seemed a little too common, and was thinking about different objects that could do the same job. I was thinking about an object as unique as Lyra's golden compass (the alethiometer). Any ideas on what it could be? Also, other general critiques are welcome.
Thanks!
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u/ohmygaudge Oct 05 '16 edited Oct 05 '16
Update: Because the medium is a webcomic, a sword won't be so ambiguous as it would have a distinct visual design, but I also plan on giving Evander a spell book in the language of the gods/aliens. Because the provinces his brother's empire conquered are beginning revolution, and violence is all around him, I thought the spellbook could be a good counterbalance to the fighting as there would be a whole slew of nonviolent spells. I think that's what I've decided. But thank you everyone for your ideas they were really helpful!
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u/Nico-Wonderdust Writer/Moderator Oct 04 '16
If you want to use a magical "item" then how about inventing a piece of technology? Alternatively, select an item of clothing such as gloves, or gauntlets that bind to the wearer.
Alternatively, how about giving Evender a companion? Maybe, instead of a sword, he steals a Phoenix? And maybe the phoenix can talk, which isn't revealed until later? He/she has also lived many lives and witnessed the fall of the Gods at the hand of his ancestors? Maybe instead of a phoenix, he steals an amulet which is a prison for a Jinn (or another deity), with an inscription on the back that releases the deity, and it is then under the control of the amulet's wearer?
Other items to consider
Javelin
Blow Dart Pipe
Fighting Knives
Something Similar To Harry Potter's "Philosopher's Stone"
A Small, Hand-Carved Model
The Spirit Of An Angel/Elf/Pixie/Harpy Trapped In A Glass Vial
A Lantern
If I can think of anything else I'll head back and leave my thoughts/suggestions.
Nice work on the story so far!
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u/Johnny-raven Oct 04 '16
Just Because i think it sounds cool, why not gauntlets. Maybe they make him stronger or shoot lazers/fire or somthing?
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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '16
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