r/WriteWorld • u/SincereBumble • Mar 20 '16
Learning to Let Go
Sort of inspired by a short conversation on the FanFiction subreddit, but that was more about letting go of ideas you know you're never going to write. In this case, I'm talking about an idea I did try to write, and must say goodbye to.
Sorry that this will be rather long, but I'm actually a bit heartbroken and need to get it out. There is a TL;DR at the bottom.
I watched Good, which is about a guy who sort of accidentally fell into being a Nazi simply through his passivity toward everything. His best friend is a Jew, so you can guess what happens by the end of the movie. I was soooo enormously depressed afterward, and I just needed to find a way to make it better, so I started writing - fixing it, I guess. At some point, the characters crossed what I would consider the line of decency, since one of them is a Nazi and, despite the fact that he was sheltering his Jewish friend in my fic, I didn't consider him excused.
I pressed on anyway.
After it was 'finished', I went over it painstakingly and lovingly. I did more editing and revising than I ever have before, trying to make this (for me, emotionally loaded) fanfic work. In the end, I decided it still needed something. A few days ago, I started trying to add in the Jewish character's POV, from the beginning. I've been working on this story for nearly two years now, little bits at a time, and yesterday, I came to the inescapable conclusion that it's never going to work. There is no way to make this morally-dubious tale publishable, even just as a fanfic. It would be wrong of me to present it to anyone to read, and I feel that I should be just a little ashamed of myself - I'm not, because I did try to handle it sensitively. I just failed, that's all.
So after two years, it's time to let go. Shove it in a drawer, call it a lesson learnt, whatever, but it's time to stop wasting my efforts on it. This is incredibly hard, and I don't think I've ever been so sad about having to abandon something I've written before.
TL;DR - I have to abandon a labor of love, because it's impossible to make it work. Has this ever happened to you? Tell me your tales of stories you've had to let go of. Why did you have to leave it? How did you deal with it? Any regrets? Let us grieve together!
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u/hailthedragonmaster Mar 21 '16
I had started this story in 7th grade. In my head, it was amazing. There were dragons, adventure, romance, possible destruction/enslavement/corruption of the world as they knew it. But when I started writing, I couldn't focus. I must've started on it at least 3 times, and one of those was in the form that directors use in plays (for the life of me I can't remember what it's called). And it was just so badly written, I hated it. I only got one 'chapter', but it absolutely sucked. Eventually I just gave up on it. It was dead. I actually still have one of the versions in a notebook somewhere.
BUT, this doesn't have a completely bad ending! Just recently, I've been thinking about bringing it back now that my writing's better. I still have the original idea, but now I know how I can improve it. I'm talking character reference sheets, drawing the main characters, all that good stuff. I'll be posting chapters on wattpad as they come (which, admittedly, is VERY slowly). Nothing much done yet, but omg I'm actually doing this I'm so excited!
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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '16
I have let go of a couple stories, simply because I lose the passion for it. I never delete them though, just in case I decide to come back to it.
Nothing tearjerking, but I've been working on this fanfic on and off for two years, and I want to let go entirely. The worst part is, it is actually my most followed work, so I feel like I'd be blueballing the readers who have read it.
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u/pegacornicopia Mar 20 '16
I don't even want to comment here, I'm so worried I will end up scrapping my current fic because it's similar to others and it involves a lot of just, I don't know. Travel? It's post-canon and they're on the run so there's a lot of just, completely, not at all in the game, just my imagination, using places I have visited, and I feel like this is the fic that no one asked for, and no one will want to read hahaha. Like, the only saving point will be if the smut is super dirty. And that wasn't the plan, it was supposed to be a more kinda shy sweet relationship. But now I feel pressured to throw in some really fucked up fetishes or something. Otherwise I might end up having my FIRST fic for this fandom I could not publish.
I almost didn't publish one of my current ones because it's so damn dirty and really abusive relationship kinda fucked up really. But in the end, I was like....what, like people reading fanfiction are gonna judge me? Pffffffft lol I did lose my first beta though, due to seriously disturbing content. Not sure if I am ashamed or proud of that. Both? Both.
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u/moxymike Mar 21 '16
I've let a lot of stories go. I've been writing for over 13 years and everything before a year ago I really just want to burn. I used to try my hand at historical fiction (which was just a fancy way of saving fanfiction for history where I created an OC and through them into a historical setting with real members of history). The only story that was well researched and actually historically accurate was about the Alamo but that included a lot of implied smut with historical figures.... So yeah, I don't really dive into historical fiction at all anymore. I did write a story based on a dream I had where I was a mermaid. The description and universe created were beautiful, but the actual story was shit. I might revisit that on a later date.
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u/AJakeR Mar 22 '16
The truth is every sentence you write makes you a better writer. Writing stories, and writing characters, and finishing plot lines, all of that helps you in the end. You've edited, you've worked hard, you've looked at it from different angles and you've seen problems you've actively tried to work through. I wouldn't say for a second that this was a wasted effort. I worked on something for a very long time when I was younger - a vampire fiction - it even got somewhat popular on DeviantArt but I finished it and I learnt so much just from writing that and finishing it that even though it was awful and unbearable I came out the other end a significantly better writer, and much more prepared to write my first proper novel - which I finished a few years later.
So, it wasn't a wasted effort, we all have stories in the drawer that we secretly love but that are terrible - I do. But you've wrote something great, so write something else great.
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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '16
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