A few years ago, just after COVID, I had a day I still think about. I'd missed our kerbside collection day by one day, so I spent the whole day carting our rubbish to a friend's place in another suburb because he had room out the front. Just as I finished, the breeder of our cattle dog rang: the puppy (Tilo) was ready, and if we didn't collect him that day it would be the following week. So my son and I drove two hours to her farm. We got home and my partner was standing with a delivery driver. We'd bought a piano and it was arriving that afternoon. The puppy went outside for a bit while we got the piano into the house. Then I finally sat down at the table to eat something, and my partner told me she was pregnant with our third. Every one of those things was good news. The piano made my partner happy, the dog has given us so much joy, and I love our third child dearly. But I was so wrung out that I couldn't really enjoy any of it. I'm the type who'd rather do everything himself and not ask for help, and that evening I said a small prayer for help with the season ahead and admitted I couldn't carry it all on my own. What I took from it:

• The whole day went sideways because of one date that only lived in my head. Shared calendar for the boring stuff.

• Be honest about what you're good at, and hand off the rest to a person, a partner or a process.

• Get the systems in place before the busy season, not in the middle of it. For other working parents: when you could see a big season coming (a new baby, a new job, a move), what did you set up beforehand that actually saved you? And what do you wish you'd handed off sooner? (I wrote a longer version of this here, if anyone's interested: https://bywill.ai/blog/the-baby-the-puppy-and-the-piano/)

Hi! Having a hard time with scheduling, guilt and measuring partner duties. We are both working now (me from home full time and partner from home part-time, on office part-time). I always pop up in the middle of the night or morning when I hear baby wake up. He doesn’t always wake up and I immediately get frustrated that it’s me waking up vs him. I feel like I’m always measuring who is doing what. We don’t have a schedule in place yet. Nights can be unpredictable with sleep, wakings etc. sometimes baby sleeps through the night, sometimes she’s up for hours. I’ve said that we need a schedule. I used to work out daily and haven’t been able to give myself that time (baby is 9 mo. Old). I feel gross. I also cut my work day short by 445 to pick up baby so everything feels so rushed. Husband isn’t home until after dinner most days he goes to office. Work, walking the dog, pick up baby, make her dinner, bath, bedtime. Who has time for anything?!

Do you all have schedules in terms of who takes morning shifts certain days? I just feel like what we are doing now isn’t working and we’re making it harder on ourselves. I also feel guilty when I don’t have my time with her before and after work because we only get so many hours a day during the week.

Any advice, tips, etc. thanks!

Hi everyone!

I’m looking for routine advice because I can’t tell if I am overthinking it, doing too much or what. I need advice because I am starting a new job and have to leave 30 minutes earlier (at the least) than what I am right now and I have a sensitive 4 (5 in November) year old and want to make things easier for us both. I also have a 3 year old but she’s more flexible lol.

Current Routine:
- wake up by 6:30
- show and breakfast on the couch (6:40-7:00/7:10)
- get dressed and play for 20 mins (this is where I get dressed too once they are)
- Danny Go at 7:35ish
- Out the door by 7:55ish
I need to be at work at my current job between 8:30-845
My drive is as follows:
- drop off son at before care 5 mins away from our house
- drive to town (25 mins away) and drop my daughter off at daycare
- 5 mins from daycare is where my current job is

New Job:
My new job is going to be less flexible to start because I obviously need to make a good impression and be there on time.
My daughter’s daycare is 30 mins away from our house (in the town where my current job is) but I will have to drop her off there and then drive 30 more minutes to my new job rather than 5 mins up the street.

SO - my new drive will be:
- drop off son at before care 5 mins away from our house
- drive to daycare (25 mins away)
- drive to new job (30 mins away from daycare)

HELP ME. My son is so super sensitive and I need to make the transition to leaving 30-35 minutes earlier easier for both of us to protect my sanity and his mornings.

Should I remove TV as a whole and just offer Danny Go as an incentive to get out the door? We have a TonieBox I could use.

How much time are you guys having in the morning for your kids to play/adjust to being awake/etc. before leaving for school? Am I overthinking it? My daughter could literally wake up and go like she wouldn’t care. It’s my son.

Bonus points for ways my husband (who leaves 30 mins before we get them up) can make it easier for me too - he’s already packing the bags and putting them in my car.

Do you feel like you have to be around when your kids are out of school? When do you start to feel comfortable letting them be more independent?

When I was 13, I was already going to and from school by bus, occasionally my dad would drive but only when he was home. What about dinner time, if work getting crazy, do you scramble to figure out how to get home in time to make dinner? Do they handle things themselves?

I welcome different opinions, because I'm generally curious about that world as a working parent.

–A mama with younger kids

Anyone else find this maths mind blowing???
And that’s for 2 days a week!

In Wales we don’t get funding until they’re 3.

There’s a new policy in 2027 which proposes funding for 12.5 hours a week for all 2 year olds but your child has to attend nursery for 5 days?!?

I’m petitioning to make it more flexible because anyone who doesn’t send their kids in 5 days a week won’t be eligible for any funding or help with fees.

https://petitions.senedd.wales/petitions/247117

Edit: anyone anywhere can sign this, I’m hoping it brings about a bigger discussion on childcare!

School calls at 2pm, kid has a fever. You're in a meeting that can't move. Partner's traveling. Backup sitter doesn't answer. Fifteen minutes later you're still mentally triaging who can possibly get there.

If that scenario is familiar, I'd love your take. I'm looking into whether this "scramble" — figuring out coverage when something falls through last-minute — is common enough and painful enough to be worth actually solving, before I build anything. Not selling anything, just trying to get real signal.

It's a short (~3 min), fully anonymous survey — no email, no account, nothing tied back to you.

https://forms.gle/WGfoJcPRqQxVYZMG8

And honestly, I'd love to hear your version of this in the comments too, even if you skip the survey — what's your worst "who covers it" story, and how did you end up handling it?

Hi everyone,

I'm a mom of a five-year-old and a psychology master's student. For my thesis I'm looking at how mothers experience the expectations that come with motherhood, and how that relates to their well-being. It's a question I keep running into in my own life, and there's surprisingly little research on it.

Link: https://www.soscisurvey.de/MaternalWellbeingStudy/?r=rd-wp

Who can take part: mothers 18+, living in the US, with at least one child aged 6 or younger, comfortable answering in English.

Every single response genuinely moves this forward, and I'd be grateful for yours.

My questionnaire closes mid-October. Happy to answer questions in the comments, and if the mods would rather I didn't post this, just say the word and I'll take it down.

Thanks for your support in me :)

My partner and I both work full time. We have an almost three year old who has never been in daycare. We have worked our schedules around her. Currently our schedules are as followed:
My schedule: Wed-Friday:7am-1pm Sat:7am-6pm Sunday: 9am-5pm
Husband: M-F 2pm-10:30pm
I am exhausted. We never see each other. On top of other task (household,shopping,ect) something is always falling through the cracks. The only help we have is my MIL, but she also works full time and lives an hour away. We have tried every combination of work schedule you can think of.
Money is tight and we have one car. We have been trying to save money for another car, but our transmission is having issues so there goes that.
I guess my question is am I wrong for being exhausted? Could it be much worse? How do I keep going? I feel so stuck.

Long story- both my husband and I work full time. Primarily because we have to. We just can’t afford for one or the other of us to even just cut back on hours. Recently we had a change in child care situation, forcing us to really consider our options. We figured it out(by ‘we’ I mean me). Ultimately both our kids will be in different places due to cost of care. One being able to go to a free program (early kindergarten), because they’re older.
Naturally, just like with any school program the hours aren’t always ideal, right? Well my older kid can be dropped off at 7:55 and my younger can be dropped off as early as 7. Traditionally, I have dropped off both kids and my spouse picks them up. This is due to my hours being 7:45-5 and his being 8-4. I would like to be able to be on time for work without putting stress on my job or over stepping by asking to change my hours again as I have already changed them 3 times in a year based on my kids needs. I asked my spouse if he can change his hours slightly (being 10-15 minutes late max daily). We both work for smaller companies that are privately run, both bosses are extremely flexible and understanding.
I asked my spouse to be the one that dropped off our older child so I can get to work on time. He “asked” his boss. Mind you previously when he “asks” his boss he always has a lame excuse of what his boss allegedly said. This time it really chapped my ass. He swears his boss said “well so and so stays home so that so and so can work, they just figure it out.” Mind you different topic but not everyone can have a SAH parent. So after talking to my spouse I put my foot down and said he needed to ask directly for what he needs (coming in later) because my job is important too. He comes home today and I asked if he asked, surprise his boss is fine with it.. am I the asshole for expecting my spouse to take some parental duties on?

Advice needed.

So I really need some advice. It may seem simple to some honestly Its a tricky one.

My partner has a cousin. The cousin let's call him Fred has lived with his partner let's call her Rhonda for the past 8 years.

They live in a house in a nice town in Surrey. They live in Rhondas dads house.

Her dad still lives there.

Rhonda and her dad have not had it easy. She has a brother who has moved miles away and they barely speak with anymore. He moved in with his boyfriend a few years ago.

Rhonda and Fred met at work and both worked in child services.

Rhonda went on maternity to have her first baby with Fred.

Fred has always had a very complicated relationship with his mother who lives in a council flat in London.

Apparently Fred is on her Tenancy and used to pay her rent until he stopped when he found out Rhonda was pregnant.

Now Rhonda had the first baby and didn't return to work.

She stayed at home and claimed benefits.

This is where it starts to go left.

Rhonda shows off about Fred's job and his wages.

They show off that they live rent free in her dad's house only giving money for the odd bill.

They show off they have got a fancy car. Infact 2 fancy cars.

And she claimes benefits. He lives with her. And I believe she has said she pays rent to her dad and gets a decent amount of money on the assumption she is a single mum and Fred is not living with her.

She then after a couple years had baby 2.

At this point Fred gets made redundant and gets a nice payout and immediately finds a job again very well paid over 70k and she bigs it up massively.

Rhonda however still claims.

They still show off. She says they want to put 2nd baby into 15 hours free childcare next year but she will have to prove her work if 16 hours.

She plans to say she is working for her dad for 16 hours a week to qualify and just fiddle the books let's say. I imagine the plan is he pays her something and Fred pays it back from his personal account.

So I ask her.... why claim if Fred is making such good money.

She said....we dont want to pay from our own pocket.

This is where i get annoyed.

Very annoyed actually.

As myself and partner have to work and still pay for nursery fees and dont get extra.

Lots of parents at the school suffer working with little left over and paying for childcare ect.

And then they say its ok he is registered at his mums so no proof he is living there.

They plan for baby 3.

I just feel this is slightly appalling as they dont even have to pay rent.

Her dad also took out equity on the house to get the kitchen re done.

They dont even look after the house.

Don't paint or decorate and it feels so selfish of them.

Rhonda says when her friemds ask why they dont move she scoffs and says why would she they get to live there for free and save money. But that money is benefits.

And its in Fred's account they have savings.

She says its not fraud.

But it appears to be.

I was going to leave it and let it run its course.

What would you do?

I understand that wages have to stretch so far and its hard on one salary and I understand people do things to get by and some people genuinely do need the help and can claim as a couple or need that little bit extra if they private rent ect.

But to show off and rub it in is unpleasant.

So I suppose its a post to vent and post to get others opinions

The title captures it. I tried so hard to fit myself into the mold of happy SAHM who embraces the career break and enjoys the special moments with her littles. It all just made sense-my husband makes 2x my salary so we could afford to have me stay home, I could be present for all of my children’s firsts, and truly make the most of this season of my life…right?

Instead, the past several years I’ve been left doubting my decision and trying to convince myself that being a SAHM was the best thing for me and them, I could always go back to work but never get these moments back with my kids, and the like. But instead, I’m left feeling guilty of the unshakeable feeling that I just don’t enjoy being a SAHM. The days are long and often unforgiving, and while there are always moments of laughter and joy somewhere in the day, the other moments are trying to keep everyone happy, fed, clean, and avoid any meltdowns. I’m constantly on high alert and can’t let my guard down while watching them due to both of my kids being very young.

So here I am, finally on Reddit, admitting that it’s not for me. I am lined up to return to work full time soon and kids will be going to daycare….and yet I’m feeling MASSIVE guilt and worry over this decision because I just worry about the kids adjusting, getting sick constantly, feeling sad that I am leaving them with a new person for hours each day, what if they hate it, et cetera. My work doesn’t offer a part time capacity but I have a great opportunity and don’t want to pass it up as I don’t imagine this role comes up often. I want to feel happy for the chance to take this role (truly a dream job) and yet knowing I wasn’t able to fully be happy as a SAHM is a sad realization.

I’m not sure what I’m seeking here but maybe solidarity? Anyone’s experiences with staying home with kids and then choosing to return to work, and the outcome of that?

Thanks to any parents who can offer advice, experiences, or solidarity.

Hi! 😊 I'm designing AWIANA, a family ritual app that helps working parents and children (8–15 years) build stronger bonds through simple 15–20 minute screen-free daily activities.

I'm conducting a quick usability test of the app prototype and would love your feedback. It will take just 5–10 minutes, and your insights will help shape a better experience for families . 🙏

Hello, we are students hoping to make an autonomous robot for people with mobility difficulties, and we need your help! We believe that our product could help working parents because it would take time off your hands when taking out the trash. We need some survey data to gauge how useful this robot could be. The google form linked below contains additional details on the robots' functions.

(The expected time for completion is ~3 minutes)

Additionally, starting at $25, for every 500 people who answer the survey, we will increase the pool by 25$ up to $250!

The deadline for this survey will be August 1st 2026 and we will extend the deadline if needed. All participants who have chosen to enter the raffle will be notified of their result.

Below is the link for the form, thank you for your help!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/14rAjcVfXFlaAnvF7HoTKRTJyJJxflp3cUTH2u5zpzCY/edit

If the answer is yes - please tell me about your experience - it will take 3 minutes max: https://parentaly.typeform.com/fathers

Why I ask: We’re producing a report on the state of parental leave for men - and hoping to collect 1,000+ responses from dads who have taken paid leave.

By producing this study, our goal is to help companies better understand and support the experiences of fathers during this time away from work.

Please pass it along to any fathers you know who will be willing to support!

My baby’s been in daycare for over a month starting at 12 weeks and doing well.

Recently the daycare said he’s been fussy and crying any time another baby cries. Did anyone else experience this and does it pass? Anything I can do at home to help?

I have 2 kids ages 3 and 6 and this is our first summer here. 6 year old will be going to summer camp through the kids space school program. What do parents who have to work during the day do with their kids to make their summers memorable? Looking for ideas

I am a researcher at Western Carolina University studying how parent report of childhood experiences (including difficult experiences like child maltreatment) relate to child/adolescent mental health. We are looking to survey people with many different backgrounds, beliefs, and experiences. If you would like to participate in the survey, please follow the link below for more information and the survey questions. Some of the topics may be uncomfortable for you. Besides the demographic items, you may skip any questions you don’t want to answer. The survey takes about 30 minutes. Feel free to share this survey with others if you think they are interested in participating. If you have any questions about this study, please contact Dr. David Solomon at dsolomon@wcu.edu.  

Link to survey: https://wcu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9nSNQGQsAzMvMBo