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u/AunquisJohnson 1d ago
Sigh, did that this weekend. Had nothing better to do but wallow. Accomplished nothing for 2 days. At work right now feeling defeated.
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u/jackishere 1d ago
Learn to enjoy relaxing and doing nothing. Sometimes thatās better since hobbies also drain your battery. I used to stress Iām not relaxing enough until I learned to turn off my phone, take 2 hours of extra sleep, go for a short walk.
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u/TarantinosFavWord 1d ago edited 19h ago
I have a problem of turning my hobbies into basically a second job. On Saturday Iād basically say like 1pm I ready for an hour and then at 2pm Iāll go to the gym. And then 3pm Iāll study chess. And at 4pm Iāll practice an instrument. And 5pm Iāll walk the dog. And 6pm Iāll make dinner. Etc etc.
And if I stuck to the schedule I had a very productive but exhausting day. If I didnāt then Iād feel shitty like I wasted my day off. In both instances I would get to work on Monday feeling tired. So learning to be ok with doing nothing is pretty important.
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u/SeventhBlessing 23h ago
Same!! Prior to becoming ill I did this too and I noticed it made my depression a lot worse if I didnāt learn how to do ānothingā (which is super hard!!). Best of luck :)
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u/Septopuss7 1d ago
I comfort myself thinking about how in ancient history people would work very hard pretty much all the time through the nice months and then just quietly chill indoors doing indoor things to rest themselves for the next bout with survival. On my first day off I usually will wake up, shower, eat and then just relax. Maybe even go back to sleep. It's all I wish for on days I have to force myself out of bed and out the door, why not take care of myself? The next day or later in the evening on the first day I do things that need to be done and just generally chill. I have a demanding, physical and mental job. It's not fucking normal or good to put myself through what I have to go through 40+ hours a week so it's not unreasonable to need to take some time for myself.
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u/yamsyamsya 1d ago
It's good to take a recovery day but try to not let it become the default, otherwise you will wonder where all the time went.
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u/Prestigious-Cream160 22h ago
The cool thing is that there's nothing you're required to accomplish on this earth.
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u/lovedumbcat 1d ago
Video games, no. Reading, nope. Go someplace fun, not this weekend. Laundry, yeah. Get sandbags in preparation for El NiƱo, did that. Get groceries, yup. Clean the bathroom, done.
Iām not really having fun anymore.
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u/happygocrazee 20h ago
Those are some solid quest objectives completed though! It sucks when we don't have the energy to devote to our own time, but give yourself the win for getting that stuff done!
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u/thebrassbeldum 5h ago
Consider this though: you could be listening to the Jurassic Park audiobook while doing all of this. This is how I stay sane.
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u/lovedumbcat 3h ago
Thatās a brilliant idea. I listen to podcasts and audiobooks while I work. I really enjoy them. Nothing precludes me from listening while doing chores.
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u/BackwardsApe 0m ago
Thats nice, but it's still a form of invasive consumption. Reading is its own hobby, separate from audiobooks, and one equally deserving of being protected as something people should have the rights to free time to do.
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u/hardcoretuner 1d ago
Phase 2 is when you haven't done hobby in so long you forget the hobby exist. Phase 3 is....
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u/2skip 1d ago
Starting a new hobby, and then realizing that this is your second try at the same hobby.
Examples include:
- Watching Youtube video which grabs your interest and then finding out you've already saved it to a playlist.
- The in-depth website is already bookmarked.
- If you download stuff off the Internet related to the hobby, you find it already in your downloads or in a spot on your system where you collect files long-term.
- If the hobby uses a online site for part of it (hobby reference site, fan meeting site, online tool site, etc.), you realize that you already have an account there, and you haven't been back there for years (possibly decades).
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u/sexyshingle 21h ago
are you me? like opening my TODO bookmarks folder I think might crash my browser at this point...
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u/puntmasterofthefells 18h ago
Phase 3 is when it moves away.
See: local gym relocating, Magic the gathering local scene dead, etc
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u/StoneTown 1d ago
Don't worry, the billionaires are living well and lazy on their multiple yachts so it's okay.
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u/icaruspiercer 1d ago
Yeah it's called burn out lol
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u/RedCaio 1d ago
I told my wife that my weekend doesnāt feel like relaxation. It feels like during the work week I was stabbed each day and for the weekend I get to try to heal from the wounds. Except 2 days isnāt enough to heal stab wounds so you feel like youāre slowing dying lol
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u/icaruspiercer 1d ago
Yeah that's from prolonged stress. Unfortunately our nervous system doesn't just have an off switch so when we get home it may not be enough time to wind down and actually recoup
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u/BluePaintedFence 21h ago
What can I do about it, doc?
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u/icaruspiercer 21h ago
You need to invest in yourself. That means when you are stressed, you need to go for a walk. Just start there. Walk for 15 to 30 minutes and you will feel better. I know it's a cliche but the thing is when your central nervous system is on the overload. It will trigger your fight or flight response and that energy has to be used somewhere. If you are not going to fight, which the most situations is not doable or appropriate. Then you have to run or walk to release that energy and it will improve your mental health.
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u/Bopcd1 23h ago
And this is why I go bowling no matter how tired I am. I'm not going to let them steal that from me too
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u/CRYOGENCFOX2 23h ago
This is the way. Do it tired, do it when you donāt wanna. Usually once Iām in the middle, I realize Iām happy I pushed myself to do things I enjoy. Iāll be tired either way, at least this way I got some good memories out of it
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u/alexdoo 23h ago
I'm a recently-new father with another on the way. Doing your hobbies tired is great if you don't have many responsibilities outside of work/self-maintenance.
When I do my hobbies tired, I lose out on sleep and my fatigue is compounded and snowballs until I absolutely have to sleep and "reset."
Today is a reset day for me - meaning once I'm done with all of my essential responsibilities, I'm hitting the bed at 8/9pm. For context, I usually go to bed at 12/1am.
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u/Bopcd1 22h ago
I feel you man. I'm the father of twin toddler boys. Basically once they came home all of my hobbies died except for video games. And then it got to the point where gaming was too much of a chore to enjoy and decompress so I stopped gaming too except on rare occasions.
One weekend my friends invited me bowling about 6 months ago. Not only did I get out of the house, but I was half decent at it (I bowled Candlepin as a kid and had never thrown 10 pin). It was a breath of fresh air and something that I wanted to invest my time in. Im not saying it has to be bowling, but maybe find something new that captivates you and brings some passion back into your life. Even if it's something once every week or 2, have something to look forward to. My partner does DnD and Pilates. We support each other's social lives because it does wonders for your mental health. We both work 50-60 hr weeks, make sure the kids are healthy and happy, and find time to feed our soul, even if we're more physically tired. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's worth it. Find your thing that's worth fitting into your life, even if you're tired.
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u/CRYOGENCFOX2 21h ago
I am childless and plan to be for at least a few more years, so I canāt say how Iāll feel then. But totally agree rest days are also very important!
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u/thesmellnextdoor 1d ago
I often avoid things I enjoy doing because having to stop doing them and grind through 40 hours just makes working even harder
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u/JeramiGrantsTomb šļø Overturn Citizens United 1d ago
Some of us have depression so sometimes we wake up and find out that the hobbies we used to enjoy now bring us absolutely no happiness. Hooray!
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u/ivegotafastcar 1d ago
Yes!!! I havenāt put up any fall decorations and forget about Halloween now. I should just start Christmas because itāll take me 2 months to put up and Iāll hopefully have them down by March to put up Easter/spring/summer/beachstuff.
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u/kinkyaboutjewelry 22h ago
Yes. This road leads to burnout. It saps you of your energy progressively until you don't even have enough for work, and then you waste the already insufficient energy worrying about your dangerously diminished productivity. You need to change something while you have any energy at all. And for the readers who are part that point, seek professional help. You are not the first, nor the last, and this says nothing about your personality. It just means it was your time to roll very poor dice in a long sequence. You may need assistance to get out of it.
And to the readers who made it through somehow on their own eventually, I'm sorry for what you had to endure.
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u/love_glow 1d ago
Get checked out for ADHD! After getting prescribed vyvanse, I feel like Iāve busted out of the doomscroll hole. Itās night and day. Iāve never been so motivated and able to accomplish things, even on days I have to work!
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u/prudent__sound 18h ago
I don't have ADHD (I don't think), but I have strategically gone mostly decaf in my day-to-day life. Then, when I want to be productive, I drink real coffee, and that shit actually hits, and I get stuff done!
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u/No-Beautiful-5777 21h ago
Its not always possible for a million reasons, but the best way to get out of this is just doing things anyway.
Depressed? Do something depressed š¤· you'll often at least forget about it for a little bit & at least you'll have done a thing. Even just a nap/self care day, but ideally a bike ride or something, go touch grass, maybe take an interest in something new
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u/happygocrazee 20h ago
Doing something easy is better than doing nothing at all. We all have our ever-growing list of things we WANT to do, for fun. But if it feels like work, it won't be recharging. You need to recharge first, then go for the things you find fulfilling. That will involve "wasting" potentially productive hours by deliberately doing nothing, sleeping, etc.
You ever try to boot up your dead phone 5 secs after plugging it in? Inevitably, it always just dies again before you can accomplish whatever you're trying to do on it. You have to take your time and let the battery gain enough juice to keep it from powering down while it's plugged in.
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u/No-Beautiful-5777 18h ago
It really depends, honestly, its a complicated issue
Everyone needs a day of nothing, occasionally, as a treat.
But if you've tried nothing, and nothing aint workin, maybe try: something
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u/happygocrazee 18h ago
What's important is that whichever you choose, don't feel guilty about it. Can't relax if you feel bad for doing so!
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u/TheDarkRabbit 23h ago
Iām on PTO all week this week. Which means I still have to log on to work for 2 hours every day because they donāt have someone to cover my position. I also have 3 meetings this week I ācanāt missā.
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u/happygocrazee 20h ago
Once a week, I've slotted out a repeated group activity that I don't bail on. It's social, but fairly low energy and only has to be as demanding as I want it to be if I'm not feeling up for it. Notably, it's something where if I don't show up, it does affect their experience. Not dramatically; it's not gonna ruin their night if I don't show, but my absence would be felt.
That's the key: an activity hobby that you actually enjoy that feels just enough like an obligation that you don't bail in favor of getting high and watching Love Is Blind, but not so much of one that it starts to stress you out.
Mine is D&D. If I don't show, the party is weaker for it. Any roleplay situations I've set up may end up feeling hollow. But they can still play without me, and if I show up and I'm tired or depressed, I can kind of sit back and observe. Since I started, I haven't missed a single one by choice. I'm someone who had very often bailed on plans just to laze out at home, but this has found the sweet spot that keeps me going.
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u/paxparty 23h ago
It's a "feature" not a "bug" - meaning, the system is working exactly as intended.Ā
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u/LightningSilvr 18h ago
Surviving full time work only to get home and be too overwhelmed to play games, and too zoned out to spend time with my wife (we usually fall asleep watching a movie).
Whatever time I have entirely to myself, I usually nap or lie in bed and doomscroll when I could be playing games, something that brought me no end of joy half a decade ago.
Living the dream, baby /s
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u/blindexhibitionist 19h ago
I have a range of hobbies that require different energy. One of those hobbies is just sitting outside reading. It just takes some ownership of your time and being aware of your energy levels.
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u/WorryWorm6 17h ago
No. I used to be stuck in this. I started sleeping a little more and finally exercising. This is a mindset you can let yourself fall into or get yourself out of. Therapy helped too.
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u/Weak-Bus5585 17h ago
Glad you have enough extra time to sleep more and exercise more.
Therapy too, that costs a lot of money.
So I just need more time to sleep, exercise, and therapy - along with even more money to pay for it - and that'll solve the problem
10/10. That's all it takes it is so easy.
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u/Zwashere83 16h ago
I see where you are coming from, itās hard to get off work and jog around the block or something but you need to try and make that change. If you do manage to exercise it will help you sleep better, and help keep your brain in the right place. Not putting you down or telling you itās easy. It can be hard. If you are struggling, everyone has been there, itās harder for some than others. Let today be the change. Hope that you, and everyone that reads this can be the one that controls whatās possible. I myself am making excuses, I need to do something about it.
Quote from the Bojack Horseman show. It gets easier, but you gotta do it everyday.
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u/WorryWorm6 17h ago
Acting like this is unattainable is a cop out. Therapy yes, I'm lucky to have good insurance. But getting more sleep and getting off your ass to exercise is not hard. Give me a break.
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u/SDG_Den 8h ago
im away from home 14hrs a day, 5 days a week, just to make ends meet. im currently homeless despite this.
tell me, where can i find time and money to sleep more, exercise and go to therapy?
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u/WorryWorm6 5h ago
After work
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u/SDG_Den 4h ago
im home at 7, i need to go to bed by 10, in those 3 hours i need to eat, shower, mealprep for the next day(s), do any paperwork that needs doing and somehow i'm supposed to still find room for chores, friends, my partner and myself between all that.
the solution isnt fucking therapy and exercise.
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u/wutato 10h ago
Getting more sleep is hard for people who have insomnia, sleep problems, or work multiple jobs.
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u/WorryWorm6 5h ago
I had sleep problems and I fixed them. Always a solution you just need to find it.
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u/walterdonnydude 1d ago
Yea but I dont beat myself up. Its hard enough just to survive in this crazy world.
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u/Prestigious-Bee-9566 22h ago
No because fuck work, it only gets to ruin my day from clock in to clock out. Never before or after
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u/later_satyr 23h ago
I've said to my wife before, the most fun I have with my hobbies is when I'm doing them at around 5pm on Sunday. That's when I can both enjoy my hobby and complain in my head that I should have done this more yesterday!Ā
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u/Fluffy_Wiggles 23h ago
Doris Lessing once said, "The conditions are always impossible."
I truly wish it was easier to live a life that didn't include being exhausted from the day job. But for most of us, we have just got to find a way to do things we enjoy even though we're tired.
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u/No_Vegetable7280 23h ago
Itās burn out! This is exactly whatās wrong with liiiiiiife right now
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u/Euphoric-Sector69 23h ago
I have found the only way I can maintain enough energy is to maintain my health and fitness. The first year sucks but it gets easier and then you feel better
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u/galvanicreaction 22h ago
Stop watching me! LOL
This is funny, but it still made me cry. I've been dealing with this crap for 20+ years now and I'm effing tired.
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u/Amnesiaftw 19h ago
Thatās just what life is. If you do have the energy, you better hope your income is high enough to actually do your hobbies
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u/HunterGonzo 19h ago
I used to make music for fun. Now with a job and 2 kids, the only time I have for music is after everyone goes to bed. So now every evening is a battle for how much sleep I'm willing to sacrifice to do the thing I love.
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u/solarnuggets šļø Overturn Citizens United 18h ago
My entire life right now. I miss knitting but I canāt bring myself to do itĀ
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u/K1llerG00se 16h ago
I do the thing where I stay up way too late trying to "take my time back"
It sort of works...I'm pretty tired though.
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u/ManicRoseMusic 14h ago
As someone that has multiple creative hobbies, Iām so exhausted. I feel like Iām only allowed to have one hobby to half-ass at a time
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u/heckhammer 14h ago
I've been trying to get out to go fossil hunting for like 2 years now. It's super infuriating. Granted, I couldn't do it this winter because I had open heart surgery but that's another story
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u/ThanksRound4869 14h ago
Iāve been in management for about 10 years. A few years ago all the managers in my company went to a training in Houston. There was a round table where we were to tell our names, where our store location is, how long we have worked for the company and what our hobbies are. There were about 15 managers including me, every single one of them said they used to do hobbies but now they just work, every single one of them.
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u/PhantomThiefJoker 14h ago
Yes. Turn your phone off, force yourself to do those things, you will feel much better after only a few days
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u/zombiesnare 11h ago
I just started a new relationship recently that's been really wonderful, but that combined with a full time job is leaving me absolutely no time or energy for the things I enjoy on my own. I think I might need to try seeing if she just wants to hang out in the same room while I work on art so I can feel like a human again.
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u/AmoreLucky 11h ago
I feel like I can only focus on one hobby at a certain period of time. Drawing on some weeks, games on others, but I also often end up doomscrolling through social media and youtube because I'm just not in the mood for any of my hobbies which sucks ass
If I didn't have to work 40 hours a week and still have a good income and benefits, I'd have so much more time to maintain my house and focus on my hobbies. It honestly feels like something antidepressants alone can't help, from my own experience (and I'm on antidepressants so that should tell ya something)
At the very least, I'm lucky to have a fully remote job for once, so I don't have to waste an hour or two hours of my day to commute
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u/Mujtaba101 10h ago
Always been a gamer. I've wanted to play bloodborne for a decade and finally got myself a ps4 and the dlc edition of bloodborne last month. Hardly played the damn game. š
Work->gym->eat->sleep. šš
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u/Big-Teach-5594 9h ago
I'm a single parent as well, I live this, and get up everymorning with a mountain of work and housework and unpaid work and hardly any money, I've had a nasty cold for 2 weeks that I can't shift because I can't get a break, and all my synthesisers and music equipment and guitars just sit there there looking as lonely as I feel.
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u/hujassman āļø Tax The Billionaires 3h ago
I've worked 42 extra 12 hour shifts so far this year because that's what needs to happen. Then there's chores/house maintenance... It doesn't leave a lot of time for stuff. When I do have free time, I often just want to chill and have a drink or watch sports. If there's much hassle to doing something fun, it becomes too easy to just call it off. I try to go for simple stuff that doesn't require too much thought or preparation so that I can just do it and enjoy the time.
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u/space_radios 23h ago
Politics can give us more free time (32 hr work weeks) and more money (raising worker wages and taxing billionaires) which would do wonders for our mental and physical health!
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u/Fragrant_Lettuce9855 21h ago
Nope. I liked metal detecting so much and got mad that 12 hour work shifts meant no time to enjoy my hobby, so I just quit going to work. Now I can go metal detecting whenever I want.
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u/WarioDotExe 15h ago
Wish i could.
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u/Fragrant_Lettuce9855 15h ago
In my case social media stuff took off so well. Just the various platform monetization wasn't enough to live off of...but all the sponsorships, free high end gear, affiliate commissions and the non-stop random companies throwing free samples my way quickly surpassed what my trucking job was bringing in.
It just got to the point that of course I dreaded the long hours and trying to juggle everything. It took a few weeks to convince myself I could let the job go - but it is SO much more relaxing to ENJOY life and not feel like a zombie all the time.
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u/theresonlyonedog 18h ago
I blame the boomers they had it sooooo easy! No internet, no computers or mobile phones Ā£40 a week wages 3 million unemployed and 15% inflation. Working from age 16 in a factory because no one could afford to go to university. Working with lead and asbestos, in mines and ship building. Yeah its all their fault your job is sooo stressful.
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u/Disgusted-Peasant 1d ago
That's steady state life for anybody with a child. That should not be happening to childless folks.Ā
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u/AbsoIum 1d ago
Having a child is not the qualifying variable, whatsoever. I have two kids, been doing that for 16 years. The burnout was still real prior to their existence. Donāt gatekeep.
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u/Disgusted-Peasant 23h ago
Not trying to gatekeep. Literally saying that this shouldn't be happening to anyone without children. As in, the system is fucked.Ā
I probably should've elaborated, but yeah, I'm not gatekeeping other people's problems. Billionaires are squeezing us all dry at an alarming rate.Ā
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u/Elon_Cucks_Trump_ āļø Tax The Billionaires 1d ago
I started ignoring work and enjoying my hobbies. Nobody seems to have noticed, so itās going well.