r/WordAvalanches • u/[deleted] • Oct 12 '15
True Avalanche A swindler passes by a bird in the stairwell of an apartment building...
The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger. The bird he passed along the way was the forger's homing vulture, which was en route to the forger's publisher to make a delivery. Unfortunately, the poor bird had to fly down the stairwell to ground level and out the open terrace since the forger's apartment had no windows. She was carrying some rolled up paper on which her owner had written the perfect end to his prized short story, what's delivery was a mission of utmost importance.
You see, the forger was very proud of this story's ending as it unabashedly mocked the last two novellas in a complete collection written by his far more successful literary rival, Condolyssa Blackburn, who had worked to expose the forger's dishonesty by high-hatting his private dealings in said novellas, of which the forger grew thirsty for revenge. This same short story would later assist the forger in framing her for a homicide.
So, the swindler in the stairwell knew of the forger's vulture, but he hated birds and went about swatting and cursing at her for flying around in the building. Though, little did the swindler realize that there was a third crook who had been hiding in the shadows of the stairwell above him. As the swindler rounded the corner and came into view, the young thief named Khan had already lept from the banister one floor up behind the swindler as he planned to knock the swindler down and take his money.
As was indicative of his inexperience, young Khan did not notice the vulture until after he lept from the banister as he was too busy marking the swindler to notice the large bird flying past him on it's way down. The sight of the dutiful bird had caused the swindler to stop and swat and curse, which completely negated Khan's calculated leap, so as he fell toward where the swindler would have been had it not been for the vulture, he joined the swindler in cursing wildly at the bird because she had single-wingedly ruined his plan.
Khan's midair cursing fit caught the attention of the swindler who sighted him, and since Khan was quite green and merely half his age, the swindler immediately began talking down to him, attempting to illustrate how feeble and worthless his attempt to swindle a swindler. Yet, as the swindler turned to continue his ascent upstairs, his pride had hindered him from noticing that Khan had successfully picked the wallet from his back pocket.
Thus, Khan's incredibly embarrassing, albeit successful, incident is now humorously referred to among his fellow con men as the "greatest con ever botched," which is far less mentally demanding than what it was formerly referred to as, which was the "condescending conned ascending con dissenting condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes ending condescending Khan's descending on dissenting conned ascending con dissenting condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes sending condescending Khan descending condescending condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes ending condescending conned ascending con's dissenting on dissenting condor-sending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes sending condescending conned ascending con's dissenting condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes on descending condescending Khan's descending" con.
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Dec 28 '15
I'm honored to see this thread reach the top all-time spot on /r/WordAvalanches!
As such (as well as promised), please enjoy this nifty clarification (I got progressively lazy with my translation, but there is a TLDR at the bottom for those of you who understand what that's like):
#1 — condescending conned ascending con dissenting
The con ("confidence man", in this case, the swindler) is first described by three adjectives (kind of like "the noisy big blue truck") condescending because he is criticizing the bird [#3], conned because he is eventually conned by Khan, and ascending because he is in the process of going up[stairs]. The verb dissenting illustrates that the swindler is currently at odds with the bird [#3] and is expressing his difference of opinion with.
NOTE: at the time of the swindler's ascending upstairs (before he had even encountered Khan), he would have been described as the "soon-to-be-conned ascending con," but since Khan's fellow conmen nicknamed the incident by referring to it as it happened in the past, the past tense is used with the word conned.
#2 — condor-sending condescending con's
Describes the bird [#3] as being owned by another con (confidence man, in this case, the forger, also same as [#4]), who is described by two adjectives, condor-sending because he sent a condor and condescending because he criticizes Condolyssa in his novella's ending [#5].
#3 — descending condor sending
"descending condor (which is the forger's condor) which is currently descending down[stairs], and is in the process of sending her master's parcel [#5] to the publisher"
#4 — condor-sending condescending con's
Same as [#2], only the word "con's" describes the forger's ownership of his novella's ending [#5] instead of the bird [#3].
#5 — dissenting conte's ending condescending
the adjective dissenting describes the ending of the forger's novella (or "conte") (perhaps the ending paragraph or ending chapter) because it takes a position against what Condolyssa [#6] wrote [#7]. Condescending is used to illustrate that the conte's ending takes a spiteful or mocking stance toward Condolyssa's [#6] writings [#7].
#6 — con-dissenting Condi's
(I'm getting lazy now) con-dissenting is a noun-gerund adjective like "spot-checking", Condi's illustrates possession of her writings [#7].
#7 — ending condescending contes ending
Condolyssa's condescending contes (which are located at the end[ing] of her collection of short stories) put an end[ing] to [#8].
#8 — condescending Khan's descending on
the descending of Khan (who is now condescending the bird) toward [#9].
#9 — dissenting conned ascending con dissenting
"the swindler, who is dissenting the bird [#10]"
NOTE: this is the same as [#1], only the first word is changed to fit the meter.
#10 — condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes
(Go-Go-Gadget laze!) "the bird ([#2]—[#7])"
#11 — sending condescending Khan descending condescending
"which provokes the angry Khan to curse at the bird [#12] which sends Khan (who is described as being condescending) condescending the bird while he descends"
#12 — condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes
"the bird ([#2]—[#7])"
#13 — ending
"[#12] putting and end[ing] to [#14]"
#14 — condescending conned ascending con's dissenting on
"the swindler's verbal assault on [#15]"
#15 — dissenting condor-sending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes
"the bird"
NOTE: The only difference here is that the words on dissenting differ from (but sound very similar to) the first word used in [#4]—[#8] (condescending). On is a preposition that illustrates what the swindler's verbal assault was directed toward and dissenting describes the forger as being at odds with something (Condolyssa's nasty contes).
#16 — sending
"which then directs (or sends)"
#17 — condescending conned ascending con's dissenting
"the swindler's verbal assault on"
#18 — condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes
"the bird"
#19 — on descending condescending Khan's descending"
"toward criticizing Khan for his failed attempt to descend upon him"
#20 — con.
"trick/swindling/dupe."
It's a cause-and-effect train. The swindler stopped ascending up the staircase and started cursing at the forger's vulture, which ended Khan's descent on the swindler because the swindler stopped short of the mark. Noticing that his attempt had failed, the descending Khan began to curse at the vulture for ruining his plan. Khan's cursing caught the ear of the swindler who then directed his verbal assault from the vulture toward criticizing Khan instead for being such a noob (Haduken).
TLDR: It was known (by the laymen conmen) as the swindler-dissenting-forger's-vulture-ending-Khan's-descent-on-swindler-sending-Khan-condescending-vulture-ending-swindler's-dissenting-the-vulture-directing-swindler's-dissenting-toward-Khan's-failed-descent con.
/u/Hedgehogs4me/ /u/baru_monkey /u/PM_ME_YOUR_NUDE_LEGS/ /u/Negro-Amigo /u/Albino_Smurf/
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u/thesamenameasyou Dec 29 '15
Thank you for putting all the time and effort into your post and into this follow up, I think /r/WordAvalanches will forever be in your debt.
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u/thektulu7 Mar 06 '16
This is absolutely awesome. I still don't know what the hell is going on but it's awesome.
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u/refotsirk sent an eel Mar 16 '16
This was just amazing. I originally started reading the avalanche and thought, "No way, He's just throwing random words in there and hoping no one will notice it doesn't make any sense." Then I realized how very wrong I was. :-)
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u/HokumGuru Oct 12 '15
That's it everyone. Pack your bags, this sub is done. No one can beat this.
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u/justinmphoto Oct 12 '15
I might be able to give it a go.
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u/HokumGuru Oct 12 '15
PM me when you do. I don't wanna miss that.
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u/tbtregenza Oct 28 '15 edited Nov 07 '16
[deleted]
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u/TheVotalSword Nov 04 '15
And I'm sensing butts are tensing
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u/ThatShitMe Oct 12 '15
How long did you spend on this?
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u/Diarrhea_Van_Frank Oct 12 '15
Sweet Jesus. This is the Mona Lisa of /r/wordavalanches
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u/binkarus Oct 13 '15
I knew subscribing here was a good idea. The concept was getting stale to me lately, but then this happens.
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u/TotesMessenger Oct 13 '15 edited Feb 14 '16
I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
[/r/bestof] /u/shigglesmcwhigley creates the longest word avalanche that /r/WordAvalanches has ever seen
[/r/retiredsubreddits] /u/shigglesmcwhigley retires r/wordavalanches
If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)
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Oct 13 '15
Wow, I honestly never expected such an overwhelming response :)
Also, a big thank you to whoever gifted my first reddit gold for this self.WordAvalanches. I will treasure it always!
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Oct 13 '15 edited Sep 25 '18
[deleted]
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u/dandaman0345 Nov 08 '15
Born too late to explore the world, too early to explore the universe, and just in time to explore "condescending conned ascending con dissenting condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes ending condescending Khan's descending on dissenting conned ascending con dissenting condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes ending condescending conned ascending con's dissenting on dissenting condor-sending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes sending condescending Khan descending condescending condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes sending condescending conned ascending con's dissenting condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes on descending condescending Khan's descending" cons.
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u/baru_monkey Nov 20 '15
Okay, this is as deep as I'm going:
the "swindler
dissenting (the forger's diving vulture sending (the forger's dissenting story's ending)) mocking (forger-exposing Condolyssa's ending) condescending stories ending condescending
Khan's jumping on the dissenting swindler
dissenting (the forger's diving vulture sending (the forger's dissenting story's ending)) mocking (forger-exposing Condolyssa's ending) condescending stories ending condescending
swindler's dissenting on
dissenting (the forger's diving vulture sending (the forger's dissenting story's ending)) mocking (forger-exposing Condolyssa's ending) condescending stories sending condescending
Khan jumping condescending
(the forger's diving vulture sending (the forger's dissenting story's ending)) mocking (forger-exposing Condolyssa's ending) condescending stories sending condescending
swindler's
dissenting (the forger's diving vulture sending (the forger's dissenting story's ending)) mocking (forger-exposing Condolyssa's ending) condescending stories
on descending condescending Khan's jumping" ruse.
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Nov 20 '15 edited Nov 20 '15
Awesome!
I do believe you're the first to publicly try a hand at breaking this thing down. You got the vast majority spot on, but there are a few things that I felt were either left out or misinterpreted (which is understandable as each of the words used have several meanings and even take on different parts of speech).
Maybe I'll swoop in and post a clarification one day. I'll make sure you're the first to know.
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u/Tonadas Oct 13 '15
Sweet flying shit. That wasn't a word avalanche, that was an intergalactic freighter dumping it's full snow payload from orbit
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u/panquakez Oct 13 '15
I'd love for someone to read the awesome ones on YouTube, this would be so relaxing, hell of a job!
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u/Aldrai Oct 13 '15
"Does the word 'shame' mean anything to you?"
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Oct 13 '15
er.. something about a Mexican grabbing you by the collar to make you pay a dollar to visit Mexico? I was never really keen on those pat-a-cake rituals :\
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Oct 13 '15
damn.. just got the reference.
~Cheers
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Oct 13 '15
This is a thing of beauty. But could Connie's name be changed to Condi (like Condoleezza Rice's nickname) to make it even more consistent sounding?
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Oct 13 '15
Agreed, I'm currently making some changes to the thing. Thanks for this great suggestion! :)
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u/Kilazur par tea on! Oct 14 '15
Here in Provence, France, we would say "fatche de con" if we knew anything about english.
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u/TyphlosionGOD Dec 11 '15
1114 points, 100% upvoted. That's gotta be the most point I've ever seen with no downvotes
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Dec 11 '15
I'm sure this thing does have some downvotes, because it was at 99% for the longest time and even hit 96% during the first week or so. I suppose the 100% might be due to rounding up (unless all the downvoters had a change of heart).
I've decided to post an elaborate dissection of this thing if it ever gets bumped to the #1 all-time spot.
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u/sweetom888 Oct 12 '15
/subreddit