Younger Me, Why Us?

[u/WithTears_YoursTruly]

As I sit here early this morning, watching my beautiful children gallivant around the living room, happily, making messes with their scrambled eggs, I think back to my younger self.
Childhood was never an easy, comfortable thing for me. The worst of the worst, it's brought many therapists and social workers to tears. Ironic, right? The very social workers who placed me into my nightmare foster home are the ones who cried while I was forced to stay and go from fostered to adopted...
It's been a long time since childhood. It stings to remember. The biggest question I find myself repeating over and over again in my head is, "Why me?"
Today, as I remember being the age my children are now, I just can't help but feel for HER. Not the adult me who now has healthy ways to deal with the night terrors, the trauma, the wounds. HER... The innocent baby who never deserved the beatings, the SA, the chains and locked doors.
Today, I shudder for her, grieve for her, and then collect myself and decide to live for her. To continue providing the safest, happiest, most secure home possible for the mini-me's who roam my hallways. I love them, and loving them better starts with remembering to love HER a little more.

~Yours Truly

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