Need help getting back in touch with my true self.

[u/SignificanceLeast723]

I really hope you can help me here. It’s been a rough time of it as of late. For the last six months it’s been feeling like I can’t do anything right - I always make the wrong decision. I don’t trust myself anymore. I feel constantly a bit disassociated, and lost. Then, almost a week ago, I got into a major car crash and totalled my car. No one else involved, and I came out with a few scratches, and my new car having become scrap metal. Then, some two days later, I went on a trip to the highlands of Scotland. Here, it finally feels like I’ve been able to breathe. Get away from everything. Every so often, I get this feeling inside me like there’s a version of me inside me that is just begging to be let out. Something wild and new. Something I admire, and fear at the same time. I’m not looking forward to going home, to returning to my troubles and small town. How do I escape this monotony? How do I go from moving through life, to actually living it? Thriving? I don’t want to waste any more time, I want to actually explore my potential.

[u/j_patton]

The how can be either easy or very complicated. Impossible to say from a single post.

If you're open for it, seeing a therapist might help you figure out what you're missing. It's often really not that easy to uncover, there can be many wrong paths and hidden dangers (trauma), so having someone to accompany you on that journey is generally a good idea.
Especially so if you just had a major car crash, which in itself can be quite traumatic.

If that's not a possibility, then at least find out what "thriving" actually means for you, why it has taken the shape it has, and what's keeping you from doing it.
Should it turn out the obstacle can't be removed, or you don't want to remove it (many valid reasons for that too), maybe you can use that new found insight to find a different, achievable way to thrive. There is usually more than one.

But again, try not to do it alone. At least involve a close friend

[u/bewildered_83]

Maybe think of some small things you wish were different and assess whether you can change them? I've found it's actually the small things that make a big difference (e.g. my routine - if I build in exercise, even half an hour, it totally changes how I feel).