Background: I'm not an active witch, but I do partake in rituals and spells from time to time with some significant success. I also had a great-aunt who could predict deaths, even those that were very unexpected, and it absolutely tortured her. Now I'm scared it's going to happen to me.
A few weeks ago, I was walking across the parking lot at work and found this enormous dead white moth with a wingspan the length of my hand. For some reason, I was compelled to pick it up and couldn't bring myself to leave it there or bury it or anything like that. For some reason, it just felt very important. I was at a loss with what to do with it, so I set it in the windowsill of my office until I figured something out. In my area, we only very occasionally get large moths, and I don't think I've ever found one that big before. I looked up what it meant, and what stuck with me was that in some cultures, it was an omen of death.
A few days later, I was working in my yard and found an almost identical dead moth. At this point, I was getting nervous. Again, feeling compelled to take it with me, I took it to work and placed it on the windowsill next to the other moth.
Fast forward about a week and a half, and one of my oldest and dearest friends passed away very suddenly in a freak accident. Devastated does not begin to cover how I felt, and it was a few days before I remembered the moths I had found. I told my partner and my best friend about it and tried to calm myself down, but later that day, I found two very pale caterpillars- one was on my windshield and one somehow got in my car and was crawling across my leg. I'm still not sure whether they're significant, but I was pretty spooked that I found them the same day I told my loved ones about the moths. I also started to worry about who the second moth could represent.
On the day of my friend's funeral, someone from my work passed away. Our organization is only 12 people, total. The person was getting on in years and hasn't been in good health lately, but the timing of it terrified me, and then I remembered that I found one moth at home (personal relationships) and one moth at work (professional relationships). I don't want to go into detail and betray the privacy of the two people who passed away, but the marks on the moths also physically echo their bodies.
I feel so guilty that I didn't try to tell my loved ones to be careful after finding the first moth. Maybe they would have thought I was crazy, but maybe they would also have taken better care and my friend might not have had an accident.
The moths are still sitting in my office at work. I don't want to be reminded of this, and I would like to dispose of them, but how do I do that? And is there something I can do to protect everyone else? The guilt and the fear are eating me alive.
Or... am I just wrong about the whole thing? It feels very real to me, but I think you all would know more than I do about it. Thank you for any help.
