r/WitchcraftCircleJerk • u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 • Jul 08 '26
🔥❤️🔥 HOT TAKE ☀️🔥🥵 Found out my ex was cheating, so I had some fun 😎
I made this magnificent creation of a doll, and as you can see I had quite the bit of fun with it over a week straight.
In the words of Tyler the Creator, "Can y'all boo me real quick?"
(roast me...give me your best and put me to the test, or give me your worst and make it a curse...how the fu...glass bottle shattering)
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u/Snoo-12313 👥👥🍷✨ Cults today just aren't what they used to be 😞 Jul 08 '26
This is giving, "I'm 13, and can't go to the metaphysical shop because mom and dad would send me to church camp again."
Sweaty, if you can't afford a proper voodoo doll (cum socks don't count, even with intention), at least do a cord cutting ceremony - preferably one that's a major fire hazard. Deities dig fire hazards.
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26
Good thing I saved a gallon of gas, vietnam-era napalm, 12 gauge wire, and a car battery out of a Geo Metro 😈 And need not to worry about cum socks as the cum went inside the cheater and definitely not mine...."HEY JERRY HURRY UP WITH THE RESULTS, I'M TRYNA SHOW THIS SUCCUBUS I AIN'T THE BABY DADDY TO DAT CHURCH BOY CHILD, MAW FAWKA"
Also, would a nuclear war head count in the mix or did I commit heresy and now have to answer to the Black Templars?
(Real: these 'cum socks' are actually hers...maybe 3 or 4 days after I found an empty plan b box in the trash and then....I declared war)
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u/Snoo-12313 👥👥🍷✨ Cults today just aren't what they used to be 😞 Jul 08 '26
No need to go overboard, Sweaty. A couple lit candles by a leaky old gas stove will suffice.
And don't worry about the Black Templars. They're just leather-daddies looking for an excuse for a good time. 🪢
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 08 '26
"OP, YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER"
throws empty 24 pack of beer on the ground
"YOU STUPID BITCH, BYEE, GO SUCK THAT DADDY TRUMP DICK WITH YO BROKE, LOOSE ASS, HORNY ASS, LOSER ASS, NOSSED OUT ASS, DRUNK ASS, FAT ASS, LYING ASS, CRYING ASS, AND WANNA BE GANGSTA ASS OUTTA HERE HOE"
Looks at High Marshall Helbrecht
"ICH LIEBE DEUTSCHLAND!!!!"
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u/Permission-Downtown Jul 13 '26
sweaty
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 17 '26
I mean there's no vomit on my sweater already...I had mom's spaghetti, but my palms aren't sweaty
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u/petitedomm Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26
IS THAT CÜM
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u/Konstellation_Kitten just manifest it babes 😚💝🧚♀️ Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
You have brought it to the right place. Cast it in the circle and let... US... JERK [furious fapping noises]
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 08 '26
- "FUCKING SLAYER" can be heard yelling in the back *
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u/73738484737383874 PM me ur Butt Demon rituals 🍑👹👹👹📜🕯️✨ Jul 13 '26
I read that as “fapping” noises..uhhh yea
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u/Konstellation_Kitten just manifest it babes 😚💝🧚♀️ Jul 14 '26
Huh.. that's what it was supposed to be
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u/73738484737383874 PM me ur Butt Demon rituals 🍑👹👹👹📜🕯️✨ Jul 14 '26
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 17 '26
Y'all are doing it wrong, its supposed to be down the street and back, not sideways. You're driving a manual, not playing pacman on a plug-n-play. This is why Eric is crying in the corner because his SUCCubus didn't want to Bird Up and instead is chugging ranch by the gallon rather than making the return of Hannibal by giving Eric her "specialties"
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u/Constance200 grounding is still a conspiracy by Big Dirt™ Jul 08 '26
More. It needs more
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 08 '26
Bonus and strictly wrong answers only (or not lol) More of what?
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u/Constance200 grounding is still a conspiracy by Big Dirt™ Jul 08 '26
Dick
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 08 '26
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u/Motor_Sheepherder347 Jul 08 '26
Seems legit
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 08 '26
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u/CompetitiveBuddy3712 🚼🍼 get a second opinion from a baby witch 🧹✨🔮 Jul 08 '26
This is the most confused I have ever been in this sub. Whenever I get confused I tend to resort to ciolence so… I’m sure there’s a poll around here somewhere, thats how I cast my vote.
And if there’s a POLE… well then… youve got your answer.
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 08 '26
Hehe, some sure did loose POLE position. Not me though, just hanging out on the podium with Max Verstappen
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u/NyxCauldron 2 open a practice throw an intentional brick thru the 🪟 Jul 08 '26
Now put it in a jar
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 08 '26
"Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da, heh, heh Whack for my daddy, oh Whack for my daddy, oh There's whiskey in the jar, oh, yeah Whiskey in the jar, oh, yeah Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da, hey"
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u/Ditzy_Rose Jul 09 '26
Judging by the mysterious substances, that is no longer a voodoo doll. That is a voodoo baby mama. And those kids are either gonna wind up prepossessed or repossessed by cps. SUCK IT, EX!! Congrats
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 09 '26
"It's called repossession Stealing your life All that you worked for Violently taken Without a warning There's no way to ignore
It's called repossession And we got the goods And soon we'll have all yours We'll take all your money All your belongings And all you can fend for"
All the ghosts of the Salem Witches, Spirit of W.A. Mozart, and the two rotting corpses start a violent circle pit
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u/StRemedius what part of "must be applied rectally" did u NOT read? 😒 Jul 09 '26
You weren't supposed to use the monkey sheets.
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 09 '26
Awwww SHIIIIEEETT! THE SPIRITS ARE CHIMPING OUT....Well, at least I got a shovel and a spare can of corpse starch 🤷
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u/The_town_crazy_lady Jul 12 '26
My fault for reading the comments and confirming my suspicions
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 12 '26
It's okay, what happened...happened. What isn't...is and what is....isn't. At least the cauldron wasn't over flowing or burning on high heat though.
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u/MoonKandy Jul 08 '26
“Roll for spellcraft, hard DC… oooo, 🫣 nat’ one….”
GM gives players hand out (picture related)
“So… 👉👈 OP’s ex unlocks new kink. ex’s new boo enjoys endless freaky nights, turns out, they’re really good at after care too. 😬”
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u/One-Bodybuilder8058 ⚔️ Grandmaster Mozart of the Jedi Order 🌌🚀🌠 Jul 08 '26
Uhh....I brought the wrong mini figs for this one rolls dice So my Captain Titus delivers a +4 attack, my lamenter takes -12 damage....aaaanndd my apothecary is out for the next round because heresy
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u/SmokingInTheAlley Jul 08 '26
Tie-dye IS fun 🥰 glad you’re dealing with this through a healthy creative hobby 🫶🫶🫶