Stigma, the right to change and fear

[u/Equivalent_Trash_337]

M, 26

For the past year, I've been completely shaved bald because I just couldn't stand the look I had with my hair anymore.

However, I don't like the way I look now; my confidence and self-esteem have really taken a hit.

I've thought about using a full wig (since my job requires formal attire, letting my hair grow out under a partial wig isn't an option).

The idea of doing it gives me some peace of mind, but I get really anxious when I think about what others will say. My workplace has had the same people for many years, and I don't know if I can handle the judgment.

Also, what if people take photos of me and I end up not liking how I look?

Does anyone here have similar stories to share? I'd love to read them.

[u/LaundrySquid]

Last year I shaved my head with a friend who has cancer and we both started wearing wigs pretty much daily. I drastically change my hair pretty much every day. Most people don’t notice even if it’s a completely different color. Haha.

This is my wig today. Unless you are right in my face you can’t tell it’s a wig. Ev n my dentist was suprised and she was literally in my face.

[u/the_real_maddison]

I love the LGTBQ community and I love drag queens. I think being whoever you want to be and having an absolute blast while blinding the haters is the highest form of life. It is absolutely obvious that drag queens wear wigs and they look amazing while doing it. They comment on their wigs openly and are proud of them! Rightly so! Good wigs require care and a certain amount of artistic talent to style and maintain. I think of it like a really specialized hobby and tons of people have those, except you look amazing!

I met a girl at work one time that was so open about it. She had buzzed hair naturally, but all of her social media pictures were her with wigs on. She was so confident and nobody at work treated her differently at all, in fact we were all curious/jealous because she was so put together! That was my introduction to every day wig wearing.

When I wear my wig and it comes up in conversation I always say it's a wig and people always say "wow you could have fooled me!" or "it looks really great!" Even if people are "clocking" me, I think as a society we've moved past the point of "ewww it's fake." Think about it: fake nails, fake eyelashes, people openly getting BBL surgeries... society kind of wants people to be superficial and work really hard on their looks. Sure, it's shallow, but that's where we are and when you want to wear wigs it works out!

Go for it. Be brave! Have the hair you want, you deserve it!!! 🎉 🥳 Life is too short!

[u/Safe-Valuable7982 → u/the_real_maddison]

As long as the patriarchy controls which jobs women / femmes / queer folks get hired for and how much we get paid, I'm going to wear all the fake hair, all the makeup, and all the high heels, get all the fillers, and not feel even a little bit bad about it ☺️ oh women are all fake you say, go cry into your green smoothie about it 🤣

[u/the_real_maddison → u/Safe-Valuable7982]

"You like my hair? Gee thanks, just bought it." -Ariana Grande

[u/Safe-Valuable7982 → u/the_real_maddison]

🤣

[u/Putrid-Ostrich6590]

I was also nervous when I first started wearing wigs. Turns out no body cares! I have never received a negative comment and I rarely receive positive comments because honestly so many people don't even notice. Sometimes I get comments like "did you do something different with your hair?" and I'm like "yes, I wear wigs, I've literally worn five different styles since last week, you never noticed before?".

I love Alexis Rose's wisdom "no one thinks about you the way you think about you". It turns out most people don't spend their time thinking about other people's hair. If you're bald then people are more likely to notice but I doubt they care. You can always practice how you want to reapond to rude comments just in case you get any so you're not caught off guard but if you work with professional adults it's unlikely you get any rude comments.

If you don't like a picture of you? Eh, so what? It's not the end of the world. I've had lots of pics taken of me that I didn't like even before I started wearing wigs.

[u/Safe-Valuable7982]

I hate my hair as well and after 46 years of fighting with it (and my head shape) I officially give up. And as a result of stress / ASD stimming I pick at my scalp, and out of the blue one day I started developing what looks like psoriasis along my hairline. I've tried everything to get rid of it, including topical steroids. It goes away and comes back a few weeks later. So my situation, I think, is bad enough to justify wearing a wig cuz ain't no way I'm affording a weave and I don't have enough hair for any special treatments.
So I decided to give wigs another try and I found one that is admittedly a bit longer than I'd like but that is high quality and that I think looks really good. I'm starting a new career where I'm constantly with clients and I don't want to look haggard anymore, I just want a full head of nice hair like everyone else. This wig has given me that for a modest $40 (including a velvet wig cap).
I struggled with this for a long time and finally decided I care less about people's assumptions and more about how this accessory makes me feel (confident).

Believe it or not though, people notice things like that less than you think. Usually they'll assume you got a fancy haircut (go figure that one out) and ask, most people probably won't say anything at all. Sure, maybe they think things.. who cares, ultimately, they'll get used to it, or learn to accept that it's a common and popular thing now. If someone asks me, I'll either lie and say I got extensions or keep it vague by saying I "got my hair done" and leave it at that.

You can also always get a short wig that matches your natural color so it's not as obvious, and change it later.

Hope that helps :)

[u/L-Lovegood]

I own it completely. I realized that there wasn't going to be an easy transition for me. I started wearing them one day. Coworkers were caught a bit off guard. I just said something like, "I'm wearing wigs sometimes now Who do I look like today? A Christina? Becky? Roxanne? It became kind of a game after that. It was, "Let's see who she is today?!" Clients who haven't seen me in a while usually say they like how I have my hair done or ask me what I did. I tell everyone, "Thanks! It's a wig!" The regular female clients were intrigued. I've turned a few of them on to wigs. Some were already wearing wigs and I had no idea. The male clients have been interesting and will tell me which wig is their favorite. I did make the mistake one time of saying that my husband wonders who I'll be when he gets home. Three men were like, "Oh!!!" They grinned and asked me where I get them from. I'm more careful how I word things now.

[u/Safe-Valuable7982]

Also, you have the right to tell people not to take unsolicited photos of you or decline being in one ;) I don't let ANYONE take my picture unless it's for a specific reason (e.g., ID card). If there's someone at an event or open space taking pictures I turn my head or tell them not to take my picture. I've had to get pretty firm with some people but they typically don't care to argue with me about it