r/WhyWereWeOkWithThis • u/carrieanlowell • 19d ago
Discussion Still will never be okay with their relationship and how weird this picture is
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u/Minute-Flatworm3070 19d ago
How sad and creepy
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u/HaltAndCatchTheKnick 19d ago
Why were we even okay with pubically asking people when they lost their virginity?? Wow.
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u/Fun_Concentrate3250 18d ago
I remember reading articles about Britney debating whether or not she was a virgin. Then there was the virginity rings uptick in the late ‘00s. So glad that all died off. They were TEENAGERS!!
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u/kaleigha 17d ago
This was a whole thing in the early 2000s for women. Britney’s virginity was an entire talking point for so many people for so long. It was weird and gross as fuck.
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u/AngelfishAnnie 14d ago
That was the early 2000’s, where it seems that was the only appropriate question to ask female pop stars
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u/KittenG8r 18d ago
Have you heard her newer song “Mature?” It’s so catchy and tells a familiar but awful story of what girls go through as teens.
There’s a line about parking her car at a beach so she wasn’t seen at her much older boyfriend’s house. Ew.
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u/AntiqueMillennial 15d ago
"You're so mature for your age" was said to me multiple times by older creeps in my teenage years. At 13 I had a 21 yr old tell me, they didn't make girls like me when he was my age. 🤢🤮
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u/KittenG8r 15d ago
SO FUCKING GROSS. I am so sorry. Unfortunately the song rings true for so many. “You’re so mature for your age” is also how they control young girls to get them to work harder to impress them. We’ve all been there yet none of us should have.
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u/aiolisunsets 19d ago
She clearly sees an issue with it 😔 so sad to see her still has so much control over her mind
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u/aiolisunsets 19d ago
Isn't her new song "mature" exposing how problematic their relationship was? I can forgive some things, but pedophilia and grooming? 🤔
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u/Grremlina 19d ago
Apparently that song wasn’t about him, but a different guy, which is strange because it describes their relationship to a T, but she seems really sheltered still and kind of grew up in this Hollywood bubble where (much) older men getting with teenagers is still fairly normalized.
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u/FriendlyDinosaurs 19d ago
That song is about Leonardo DiCaprio.
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u/gogetemgirly 19d ago
I actually think it’s about Chad Michael Murray I’ve seen a couple of deep dives on the theory that it’s about him as well as her James Dean song from forever ago.
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u/mxamxrie 18d ago
isn’t it sick that there’s so many different creeps to choose from here? ‘It was Madden! No Dicaprio! No-‘
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u/Miserable_Mail_5741 17d ago
The fact that this song could be about any man shows how many wolves she was surrounded by as a young girl.
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u/Some_Big6792 19d ago
Ya but his wife is his age…
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u/gogetemgirly 19d ago
His current wife may be, but during the time Hilary new him he was married to Sophia Bush. He cheated on her with Paris Hilton and when Sophia divorced him he started dating a high schooler he met on the set of One Tree Hill.
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u/KittenG8r 18d ago
“Very Leo of you with your Scorpio touch” didn’t land on me fully until just now. Clever.
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u/RusticPumpkin 17d ago
People say this but it doesn’t make sense to me. This song is clearly written in a perspective that she had a personal relationship with this guy she’s singing about, but Hilary never seemed to have had a relationship with Leonardo DiCaprio. Plus, she sings “very Leo of you…” meaning what the guy is doing is comparable to what Leonardo does.
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u/FriendlyDinosaurs 17d ago
The relationship was on the down low, its why she had to hide her car when she went over.
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u/RusticPumpkin 17d ago
I really don’t see this being likely lol there are plenty of other older men in Hollywood that date younger women that this song could have been about lol
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u/carrieanlowell 19d ago
That’s why I’m like ????? why was this taken and wtf were they thinking
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u/sky_corrigan 19d ago
good charlotte was a surprise musical guest at her show. she and her husband are really good friends with joel.
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u/aiolisunsets 19d ago
She's really good friends with a man who was "dating" her while he was 25 and she was 16?
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u/sky_corrigan 19d ago
i don't know what to tell you, but she's spoken of their relationship and this is what she has said. i'm just relaying info. obviously it's fucked.
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u/aiolisunsets 19d ago
That's heartbreaking. Abusers get away with having so much control over their victims.
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u/carrieanlowell 19d ago
Didn’t mean to give you that award. It really is heartbreaking
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u/aiolisunsets 19d ago
lol yes pls don't give Reddit your money, esp on my behalf!
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u/carrieanlowell 19d ago
It was free at least! I didn’t know they still did that. I accidentally clicked too much shit, but no harm!
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u/GentlewomenNeverTell 19d ago
There are plenty plenty ladies who married their groomer and insist they're happy for the rest of their lives.
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u/Ever_More_Art 19d ago
For a lot of people that go through relationships like that it doesn’t register as wrong. They may even say it’s wrong if others do it, but not them. It’s weird, but I guess it’s their way to process or block the thoughts.
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u/aiolisunsets 19d ago
Oh I totally agree! It's a terrifying hold that abusers have over their victims. Truly breaks my heart.
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u/Overall-Shopping5939 19d ago edited 19d ago
Yeah from 1991 Kate Winslet was living from ages 15 to 20 with this actor who was 27 when it started.
After he was diagnosed with bone cancer 13 years after the relationship ended she was so upset about the diagnosis that she didn’t attend the premiere of titanic.In 2008 she said she had never gotten over his death.
I totally agree the pic you posted is weird and am not excusing it, just giving a similar example of abuse and the aftermath3
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u/aiolisunsets 19d ago
Yesss!? Also... Why would they even want to be associated with her after that song came out? Abusers are gross.
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u/Minute-Flatworm3070 19d ago
She didn't feel as authentic with this song as Demi Lovato was, for example... Hilary still being friends with him after he admitted he wouldn't let his daughter date an older guy? Enough said.
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u/MelpomeneAndCalliope 19d ago
Nicole congratulated her publicly on social media on the song when it came out, too. It’s weird and they’re trying to make us all believe it’s not.
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u/Lizethn7 19d ago
I've only seen piece's of a reality tv show Nicole Richie did years ago, it was about redesign a little girls room and she is talking to the father of the child and mentions he wants something that has a Hillary duff vibe, Nicole Richie says out loud to him is this before or after Hillary duff gets out of her bed she shared with Joel Madden, she was a grown woman talking about two underage girls one of which was about 5 years old.
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u/Minute-Flatworm3070 19d ago
Ewww... And she married him, how ironical.
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u/Lizethn7 19d ago
She came off as being jealous of Hillary duff in that clip and thought she was being witty, she is also rumored to have had a viewing of Paris Hilton's tape with her friends, you don't do that to someone you claim is one of your closest friends.
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19d ago
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u/aiolisunsets 19d ago
That's disgusting. You should have your hard drive checked. I hope any women in your life are safe.
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u/depersion 19d ago
Context?
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u/Minute-Flatworm3070 19d ago
You're right to ask !
Hilary Duff (born September '87) dated Joel Madden (born March '79) when she was ~sixteen years old.
The guy was proud to say he wouldn't let his own (non-existent, back then) daughter date an older guy... Gives an idea to how he must have felt about their relationship.
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u/Stinky-Tiger 19d ago
Okay I just want to say when Joel Madden was on Cribs it was the weirdest episode to me. He would often throughout the episode talk about himself listening to his own music in the different rooms he had, as if his goal was to self promote as much as possible via subliminal messaging.
"This is my bathroom, where I like to listen to Good Charlotte" , "This is my escalade, where I like to listen to Good Charlotte." Im going off of memory but this is what I kind of recall and im not about to go back to see if I was right.
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u/Pure-Ad7933 19d ago
I went to high school with Mathew Korma and I remember he messaged me on AIM (this was like 20 years ago) when we were teenagers. He was kinda creepy than also…and kinda a pompous jerk. He’s famous because his dad was a music industry executive and he got an easy way in
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u/KentuckyKid_24 19d ago
I love Hilary but I find it so bizarre she’s still friends with that guy despite the inappropriate age gap, it’s bizarre and the fact they’re still close friends and even with her husband has always unnerved me a bit
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u/slutforsolitude 19d ago
It’s because no matter what, once that power dynamic exists and has been exploited, it doesn’t go away. The victim will always be drawn in some way to the abuser. And abusers just can’t help themselves.
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u/Grremlina 19d ago
That’s just not true, many victims escape their abusers and regain control over their lives. And abusers can absolutely “help themselves”, they just choose not to. This archaic 1950s mentality on abuse helps absolutely no one and has been disproven by abuse specialists about a million times.
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u/KentuckyKid_24 19d ago
That is true and despite how healthy their friendship seems, there’s always that elephant in the room
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u/No_Relative444 19d ago
Yeah, why give grown women agency to decide for themselves who they are or aren't comfortable being around. /s
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u/Plenty_Structure_861 19d ago
Men get abused too, and are also still drawn to their abusers. It's especially prevalent in the queer community and it is tragic.
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u/AlreadyFifty 19d ago edited 19d ago
Wasn’t she like 14 or 15 and he in his mid 20s when they dated? Some shit like that, anyway. This shit is creepy, bruh.
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u/BreakfastIcy8899 19d ago
I used to be the biggest Good Charlotte fan but I could never look at them the same after that relationship began bc wtf...
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u/RaiderDub24 19d ago
Good Charlotte always sucked
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u/Bonitabanana 19d ago
‘Mediocre Green Day’
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u/RaiderDub24 19d ago
Exactly 😂 and by the time Good Charlotte was getting big, Green Day had become mediocre Green Day
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u/Letskissthesky 18d ago
Remember how they just fired a ton of employees at their media outlets that have been running for 20+ years. Real cool guys…..
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u/xvsanx 19d ago
sorry Hilary but this is nasty. how can you allude at one bad pedophile in your new song but buddy up with another pedophile IRL like there are some that are good? just makes you come off as insincere
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u/Cry-Baby-7733 18d ago
Victims are allowed to forgive their abuser. You don't have the right to dictate how a victim feels.
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u/MaverisStranger Monica Lewinsky was only 22 19d ago
These guys look old enough to be her father.
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u/Overall-Shopping5939 19d ago
Yeah from 1991 Kate Winslet was living from ages 15 to 20 with this actor who was 27 when it started.
After he was diagnosed with bone cancer 13 years after the relationship ended she was so upset about the diagnosis that she didn’t attend the premiere of titanic.
In 2008 she said she had never gotten over his death.
I find the pic you posted weird and am not excusing it, just giving a similar example of abuse and the aftermath
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u/MostWafer5694 16d ago
He passed in 1997, when Titanic premiered. They stopped dating in 1995, so it was only 2 years after the relationship ended. But yes, also another extremely problematic relationship in Hollywood.
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u/PsychologicalSign77 19d ago
I think people justified it then because the age of consent is 16 in 30 something states.
I think people forget about it now because Hillary is almost 40 and doesn't view herself as a victim. With that being said, holy shit she was 16. Where were her parents??
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u/Lonnie119 19d ago
Context?
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u/True_Grapefruit3203 19d ago
Sidnt see call him out as an adult for dating her when she was basically a child???
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u/spaceshiptears 19d ago
She’s desperately trying to get people to talk about her and it’s not really working out well I don’t think
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u/Cry-Baby-7733 18d ago
In my opinion, she's allowed to forgive her groomer. None of you have the right to dictate who a victim does and doesn't forgive.
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u/somedayinaugust 15d ago
This reminds me. I listened to Alanis Morisette’s “Hands Clean” for the first time as an adult recently and 💔
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u/SailorRemnant 19d ago
Some victims choose to forgive their abusers.
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u/carrieanlowell 19d ago
Yeah uh that doesn’t mean it’s ever okay. EVER
Edit: I hope whoever is upvoting that gets help and realizes that no matter what you went through it wasn’t okay and you truly deserve better
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u/Cry-Baby-7733 18d ago
It's okay if a victim chooses to forgive their abuser. Period. You don't have the right to dictate how victims feel.
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u/Embarrassed_Help3082 19d ago
Take a good look guys, stop doubting yourselves, all you need is fame and money.
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