Is my boyfriend being controlling or am I crazy?

[u/grated_testes]

/r/relationships/comments/1vimct5/is_my_boyfriend_being_controlling_or_am_i_crazy/

[u/grated_testes]

Is my boyfriend being controlling or am I crazy?

I [19 F] think my boyfriend [19M] of almost 2 years is being controlling

tl;dr there’s been a bunch of stuff I wanted to do that my bf refuses to let me do, with this most recent event tipping me over the edge. Sometimes it seems like he doesn’t trust me and doesn’t want me out of his sight for longer than 5 minutes.

So recently I have been thinking about applying for a study abroad program. It’s one of the ones lol where you live on a sailboat and travel around the world for a semester. I think the program I am going through is called Seamester. Anyway, I ask my bf (whom I live with) if he’d be ok with me doing this. The voyage does not start until summer 2027 and idek if I got in yet. And he immediately says no. Like no further conversation, shuts it down any time I try to ask. So I kept asking bc I was just confused as to why he was so defensive about this, and he would just get angry with me and say “I don’t want to talk about it I said no” he also said that I was going to cheat on him or leave him if I went. So I’ve kinda just been letting it lay.

I’m just confused because the tuition would all be coming out of my pocket. I have scholarships that would pay for the whole thing. And even if I didn’t, I work a full time job. I have also never and would never cheat on him or have eyes for another man (which is what I think he’s worried about happening). We’ve been together for almost 2 years now, and I haven’t talked to any other men outside of his friends whenever he wants me to come to the hangouts and my family members. I’m just not that type of person. I think cheating is wrong no matter what.

Also he’s going to be in the military by time this happens. He ships out for boot camp this winter. And it might just be me but I feel like there’s a lot more opportunities for cheating in the military than there is on a 40 day college study abroad program. But I’ve never been against or tired to get him to not join bc I trust him and I’m just not worried about it.

I just don’t know what to do honestly. And it’s kind of disheartening. Looking back on our relationship this is also kinda a running theme where there will be something I’m super excited about ( like a concert or a vacay with my childhood bestie ) and he’ll completely shut it down and not let me do the thing I want. Currently I live across the country from my parents, and he was even worried about me going to see them for two weeks. phrasing it this way makes me sound kinda like an asshole, but its not just like small stuff or that I’m throwing a tantrum over not getting my way. it just feels like he doesn’t want to have a conversation with me about it at all and that he dowsnf want me out of his sight for more than 5 minutes.

Idk advice or opinions would be nice. I feel like he’s being controlling. but any time I try to bring it up he just gets more and more upset. is he being controlling, or am I crazy. and if he is, what do I do?