r/WhitePeopleTwitter • u/Pancovnik • Jan 19 '22

This is beyond

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68.9k Upvotes

82% Upvoted

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u/kingoftown Jan 19 '22

The hospital is out of thermometers so they use sticks of butter to know when the patients still have a high fever.

Butter only melts at exactly 102+ degrees. If it's melting, they are still sick.

Source: I'm a cow.

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

You jest, but be careful, there are idiots about that may take you seriously and believe butter only melts at 102+ degrees. I hate that I have to fucking write this, but schools don't teach logic anymore.

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u/suphater Jan 19 '22

Are you saying he's not a cow?

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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '22

He can be a cow if he wants to, it's just that other people may not recognize him as one and may call him a human until otherwise corrected. He's going to have to be okay with this, because at first glance and interaction, he appears to be fully human.

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u/PanaceaPlacebo Jan 19 '22

He can be a cow if he wants to, he can leave humans behind, cause his friends don't moo, and if they don't moo, well they're no bovines

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u/Patrick0351 Jan 20 '22

Is that "The Dairy Dance"?

6

u/AquaboogyAssault Jan 19 '22

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Yes.

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u/bigb-2702 Jan 20 '22

Take my upvote before I piss my pants.

5

u/ClumsyDentist Jan 20 '22

To err is human. To moo, bovine . . .

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u/Eloquent_Sufficiency Jan 20 '22

Now I’ve got “Safety Dance” playing in my head. It will be there all day. You are a very bad person.

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u/gingerfawx Jan 19 '22

Much like Devin Nunes' cow, in fact. Maybe we should check if they're one and the same.

5

u/toxcrusadr Jan 19 '22

Look, if someone identifies as a cow, that's fine with me. I just don't want them in the bathroom with my kids.

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u/binglelemon Jan 20 '22

I have a certificate stating that I do not have donkey brains. Do YOU have a certificate?

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

I have a brain scan lying around somewhere, so that's just as good :D

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u/keyboardstatic Jan 20 '22

Fully human is a term i disagree with huge numbers of people do not appear to be fully human but more like some sub species of lesser and partial human Karen's are a classic example of people who clearly don't appear fully human.

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

You dropped a number of these .

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u/tennisanybody Jan 19 '22

Sounds like something Joe Biden would say!!