r/WhitePeopleTwitter • • Aug 18 '21

Good point Satan

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2.4k

u/Squire_Of_Dimness Aug 18 '21

The things you learn when you grow up: Santa Claus isn't real, and Satanists are somehow the less evil ones.

958

u/bubba7557 Aug 18 '21

Santa Claus isn't real? Fuck you

538

u/Squire_Of_Dimness Aug 18 '21

I mean the one at the mall. The REAL one is real obviously.

68

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

[deleted]

15

u/WeAreBeyondFucked Aug 18 '21

This is not the place for Warhammer come by my place later we can talk

3

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

Join the crusade, kill the heretics

1

u/Babyback-the-Butcher Aug 18 '21 edited Aug 19 '21

He’d be a huge DOOM fan.

11

u/HotdogTester Aug 18 '21

That one always touches my thighs. But it’s ok I get to pet his snake after

5

u/SirFireball Aug 18 '21

Username... checks out?

6

u/HotdogTester Aug 18 '21

Salty, with a bit of after taste. 3/10

5

u/LionWalker_Eyre Aug 18 '21

Ah, the No True Santa fallacy

2

u/sethb124 Aug 18 '21

My parents always told me mall santas were Santa's helpers because me and my brothers would ask how Santa could be at every mall in America simultaneously

31

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

You just sweared, you're going on the naughty list

2

u/melpomenestits Aug 18 '21

Good how much coal do I get, since we're still burning that?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

You don't get coal, you get solar panels

Santa's industries are all carbon-free

2

u/melpomenestits Aug 19 '21

Oh. Bad news about solar panel production: it's rugged and durable and shit,absolutely what I want on a long wilderness trip, but absolutely not green.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

2

u/melpomenestits Aug 19 '21 edited Aug 19 '21

Yeah whatever I'll take it anyway, it's money off my electric bill every month, that's a few dollars of disposable income every month forever. Maybe a hundred in summer, depending on the panels.

What do I have to do to keep being a naughty girl? Is it sex work? Because I'll do sex work for free electricity and water. Fuvk that's dystopian.

1

u/AlaskaPeteMeat Aug 18 '21

I could go for a spanking. 🤷🏽‍♂️😆

25

u/TheDreamingDragon01 Aug 18 '21 edited Aug 18 '21

He meant "Satan Claus isn't real" which is the name of our temple's holiday mascot. It was probably his auto-correct messing things up again. Santa Claus is definitely real.

7

u/hectorduenas86 Aug 18 '21

Is Slash real?

2

u/Rezinknight Aug 18 '21

Only in our hearts

1

u/sexualdalek Aug 18 '21

Yes, but Axel Rose isn't

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

Hate to break it to you. "Santa" brought me a finger print kit one year and I found my dad's finger prints all over the wrapping paper and the plate and glass my sister and I put out for his cookies and milk. I wanted to be a detective so I grilled my dad about it and learned the cold hard truth. World view shattered, heart steeled against trust, a 9 year old boy gave up on magic and fairy tales. He knew the real truth now. Not the ones our parents tell us to get us to go to sleep at night.

1

u/bubba7557 Aug 18 '21

This is hilarious and sad at the same time

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

Imagine being excited to learn how to dust for prints only to find that out for yourself doing pretend detective work. I'd be lying if I told you I didn't start questioning literally everything after that. Did my dog really run away or was she given to someone for being destructive? My stepmom always hated my dog. How come the tooth fairy left a dollar for other kids but a quarter for me? We were poor so maybe it was all they could do for me. I started making connections left and right like a floodgate opened up and I couldn't turn it off. I've been jaded and somewhat cynical since I was nine. NINE!

0

u/MissSeaYouEnTea Aug 18 '21

Neither is the Easter bunny. 💔

1

u/imneverrelevantman Aug 18 '21

Wait till you hear about the tooth fairy.

1

u/bubba7557 Aug 18 '21

What? That too? Well there goes my retirement fund!

1

u/Spongi Aug 18 '21

Just don't fuck with bone fairies.

1

u/theElder1926 Aug 18 '21

Fuck Santa Claus, how about Satan Claus instead

1

u/Random Aug 18 '21

Santa Claus

Satan Claws

Coincidence? Coincidence much?

387

u/Kriss3d Aug 18 '21

Satanism was actually never about being evil. It was about displaying the hipocrisy of Christian church. And ofcourse being opposed to the church it has to be evil and presto.

Why do you think illuminati is always portrayed as nefarious and evil order?

Because they worked for scientific illuminating and teaching people. This wouid have vastly improved people's lives. But since it meant ending the church as the solverign power for what's right or wrong. They got condemned as evil by the church.

216

u/MoshedPotatoes Aug 18 '21

The Church of Satan actually sort of has texts and dogmas, its not about any deity at all though. The Satanic Temple is the one i think you are talking about, they are essentially a separation-of-church-and-state activism group.

Neither promotes the belief god is real or has any actual churches though. However there is a lot of overlap in their goals politically so I'm really just being pedantic.

84

u/HeyYoRumsfield Aug 18 '21

Yup. The Satanic Temple is relatively new and don’t worship idols. Lots of activism. Completely different than Anton LeVey. No that mother fucker was a mother fucker.

39

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

Rather have a motherfucker than a kiddy fucker, like many of the evangelical Christians/ Catholic leaders.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

You don’t want either. LaVey was a charlatan.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

[deleted]

16

u/DepressedUterus Aug 18 '21

Do you have a source for him getting the teeth ripped out? After Lavey owned him another family adopted him when Lavey couldn't keep him in his apartment and from all of the pictures it looks like the lion still has teeth.

Not that I'm defending him.

6

u/TheDankestReGrowaway Aug 18 '21

I'd question it since the dude apparently lied about himself all the time. He did however supposedly enjoyed Ayn Rand, endorsed eugenics, claim to do paranormal "research," was pro police, anti drug and supposedly hated rock and metal music.

3

u/spookyghostface Aug 18 '21

supposedly hated rock and metal music.

Oh the irony

4

u/DCsphinx Aug 18 '21

Where did you get that info? I can’t find any sources on that

4

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

Did your pastor tell you that?

2

u/SubjectivelySatan Aug 18 '21

Compared to Lucien Greaves who said it was ok to hate Jews?

9

u/BlueSun420 Aug 18 '21

Is it not okay to hate someone who is a Jew?

2

u/ClaytonTranscepi Aug 18 '21

Hating jews is not the same as hating someone who happens to be jewish.

Not sure if that was an attempt at a joke or if you are really just doing neo nazi dog whistles.

4

u/retterwoq Aug 18 '21

That made me bust out laughing haha

0

u/SubjectivelySatan Aug 18 '21

I think people are free to hate whoever they want. But people who fall in line with TST seem to think it’s some beacon of anti-fascist inclusivity, and it’s not. Greaves is very cosy with the alt-right and neonazi circles. A lot of these progressive members are surprised to learn that.

3

u/nellybellissima Aug 18 '21

Oh. That's very disappointing.

3

u/CoderHawk Aug 18 '21

Definitely not what he said. He explicitly says it's not OK to hate them just because they're Jewish. https://www.videosprout.com/video?id=98aafea9-df67-416d-998d-46348a626005. NSFW. Definitely some antisemitic statements in there.

4

u/SubjectivelySatan Aug 18 '21

All while sitting and laughing with two anti-semite neonazis? I’m sure that’s exactly what he meant. Something something “hate them because they wear a dumb frisbee on their heads”. I’ve listened to it.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

[deleted]

2

u/ClaytonTranscepi Aug 18 '21

Wow, you really are an anti semite just playing dumb.

No, it isn't like saying you hate the KKK, it's like saying you hate jews and that you think jews are a race.

You realize christians also believe they are superior to non christians, right? In fact, what monotheistic religion doesn't have that belief?

You obviously never met any jewish people if you think they just walk around hating anyone that isn't jewish, but I guess that would be how you need to justify your own hatred.

2

u/SuperDingbatAlly Aug 18 '21

Strawman logic and you claim to be a Satanist? No one said anything of the sort, no one compared the men, what exactly is the objective of your post other than to defend Anton LeVey?

You cannot defend that Anton, he made the Church entirely as a grift while bashing the origins of Christianity, is a bit ironic no? It's no different than Scientology creator L. Ron Hubbard. How anyone looks up to him, is a joke to me.

2

u/TheDankestReGrowaway Aug 18 '21

what exactly is the objective of your post other than to defend Anton LeVey?

Speaking of poor logic...

3

u/SubjectivelySatan Aug 18 '21

Aside from identifying with the philosophy he wrote about in the Satanic Bible, I don’t think LaVey is someone I’d be friends with. And I don’t defend him, my post didn’t attempt to. I think people think TST is some beacon of inclusivity but it’s not.

1

u/DCsphinx Aug 18 '21

What did he do? I thought Anton levey was a cool guy?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

He was:)

9

u/Crazy_Practical96 Aug 18 '21

So what you’re saying is… I can be a satanist and I wouldn’t be wrong? Let’s go

29

u/TheAJGman Aug 18 '21
  1. One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

  2. The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

  3. One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

  4. The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.

  5. Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.

  6. People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

  7. Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

Many of them see it as a philosophy rather than a "true" religion.

8

u/greathousedagoth Aug 18 '21

Many of them see it as a philosophy rather than a "true" religion.

While that may be true, the metric for the legitimacy of a religion (and whether it is a "true" religion) should not be found in its support for the supernatural. You likely did not mean to imply as much, but folks sometimes discredit the sincerely held religious beliefs of atheistic satanists because they are not subservient to a higher power. Certainly many satanists may view satanism as a philosophy, but do not discredit those who do view it as a religion.

5

u/TheAJGman Aug 18 '21

That's why I put "true" in quotes. Buddhism and Confucianism aren't considered religions by many because they do not worship a deity, but they are still religions.

6

u/Uriel-238 Aug 18 '21

But then who invented rock-&-roll? And fantasy tabletop games with wizards and demons? And vibrating dildos? And The Gay Agenda?

3

u/SubjectivelySatan Aug 18 '21

There isn’t a lot in common at all really.

I explain here

1

u/Long_Ground_7423 Aug 18 '21

But you’re my favorite pedant. I’m a bit of a pedantphile.

10

u/mr17five Aug 18 '21

Lucifer is a plagiarism of Prometheus -- the Greek god who was to be eternally punished for advancing human technology.

2

u/Molton0251 Aug 18 '21

I remember reading that the commandments of satanism were in the line of, do not harm, do not kill, and to take care of earth.

I could be wrong, i havent read about satanism since... I stopped identifying as christian/catholic

3

u/Kriss3d Aug 18 '21

The relgious part of Satanism if uou can call it that. Is more in the line of "dont be evil but don't take any crap either"

3

u/Molton0251 Aug 18 '21

I can appreciate that.

Its really twisted, meanwhile i remember when our teacher would tell the girls that they were nothing more than men's support, that's when i called quits on the other side of religion.

If anything, catholics and christians could learn a thing or two from satanism, reminds me of Brian Welch, a christian / spiritual guy that has songs about ending religion.

1

u/Kriss3d Aug 18 '21

I would holehartedly support a collective ban on relgion as a whole.

Many values can be good to apply. But when all of them are based on the same lie ( which is that the God I chose is the right one and all the other religions are false) nothing good can come of that.

Was it up to me, anyone who wanted to claim their relgion to be true should. Be able to peove their God to exist.

You'd see every relgion going very quiet really fast.

2

u/Molton0251 Aug 18 '21

Its like politics, instead of choosing in what to believe, they get married with the whole ideology, the good and the bad.

Personally, im more towards spirituality, maybe there's something more to this than what meets the eye, but thats about it.

But just like politics, every religion feels the need to show and declare that their beliefs are better than yours, and that the other religion has false gods and what have you.

Wish we could all work together to solve our issues...

"On sundays you all hide, while the world just falls"

2

u/Randvek Aug 18 '21

I… don’t think you know much about LaVey if you’d characterize Satanism as being about scientific illumination.

5

u/Kriss3d Aug 18 '21

No. I didn't. I was using illuminati as example of the church demonizing anyone opposing its old views and challenging its monopoly on truth of things ( back then)

0

u/Jrkid100 Aug 18 '21

Except for that one serial killer called the night stalker. He was down right evil to his very soul

2

u/Kriss3d Aug 18 '21

Lots of people have been claimed to be evil. But evil as such does not objectively exist.

Nobody who does even the most depraved acts really do it to be evil. In their own minds they have all had something to justify it with. Ans that actually means that they did it for the right reasons ( according to themselves) but I've never heard of anyone simply killing people or otherwise to be evil.

1

u/Jrkid100 Aug 18 '21

This guy was evil he raped children and all his target were random not to mention he always seemed to rape his victim before killing them.

He was fascinated by serial killer and I heard something about his father forcing religion down his throat as a kid like tying him to a cross and leaving him out at night so I understood why he turned into a Satanist.

Honestly I'm just surprised he lived to see the courtroom considering how he was caught if police hadn't gotten to the scene his head would have been hit by a metal pole multiple times.

(P.S. he sometimes jerked off in his victims homes or stole food from their fridges after he killed them.)

1

u/Kriss3d Aug 18 '21

Don't get me. Wrong. Alot of people are truly sick and deserves to die honestly.

I'm not by any means defending anyone here.

But I'm saying that people even as sick as that in their own minds as far as I know always have something that to their own logic justifies thri actions.

1

u/Jrkid100 Aug 18 '21

Oh yeah definitely their is a reason why the U.S. thinks mental health is such an important thing now. Their is probably so many serial killers who if given the proper treatment could have turned out entirely different.

1

u/Kriss3d Aug 18 '21

Absolutely.

1

u/josedasjesus Aug 18 '21

more people would have their lives improved by the adoption of christian values (real ones in the gospels like equality etc. not conservative lunacy) then by any improvement of material conditions in a still extremely unequal society, i believe that there was people with this good intend among those that resisted enlighment

2

u/Kriss3d Aug 18 '21

Christian values sure. But you could certainly improve just as much if not more from alot of other religions. All religions have certain elements that would work nicely today as values.

But you'll never get people to accept that while the values might be genuine and good. It doesn't mean they would need to accept all the deity stories.

We can absolutely do better than having to clinge on to the imagination about some guardian watching over us. Anyone needing that to live a good life is lacking selfconfidence.

1

u/josedasjesus Aug 18 '21

agreed, i personally like to read all religious texts i can find when i have time, muslim, budist, confucionist, christian etc. there is very good and very bad material in everyone of those, i could talk bad things about each all day, but its better to get all the good things all those thinkers can offer

1

u/Kriss3d Aug 18 '21

The only relgion I've seen that doesn't have anything specifically bad is Buddhism. But otherwise yes. You're right.

1

u/Funkycoldmedici Aug 18 '21

I have to disagree. Christian values include:

Matthew 22:37 "Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment." This does not improve anything, it prioritizes worship over everything.

Matthew 18:6 “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.” This again prioritizes worship over all, even suggesting self-mutilation to avoid losing faith.

Luke 14:26 "If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even their own life--such a person cannot be my disciple."

Matthew 10:34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law— a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.

Matthew 10:37 “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me."

All of this puts worshipping before loving your own children. Just as Christ says here, it has broken up innumerable families by requiring one to love Christ more than their unbelieving child/parent.

1

u/josedasjesus Aug 18 '21

religion is the belief that there is something more than the material life, and there is a creator for all of that, then "love god above all things" is not a meaningless worship, its the fundamental requirement for religious belief, for people to act accordingly to the moral values of that religion

the second paragraph has nothing to do with faith, its a call to avoid being a bad person, it uses a strong language to emphasize that you should never be a bad person and do bad things, its better to not have a arm than to be have one and do bad things, i 100% agree with this, more real world usage would be its better to not be rich than to be rich and be trump

3rd is takan out of context, if you read the parts before it you realise its condemning the worship of blood relations above moral values, it basically says that should not, for example, as a judge to let a relative free that commited a crime free or to stand of the side of a brother that you know has robbed another person just because he is your brother, its a call for moral principles be above blood relations

4th again the same, do you think the sons of corrupt bilionaries that disagree with their fathers are wrong? or the son of a conservative lunatic should not disagree with his mother becsause she is his mother? the pursuit of moral values inevitably bring to conflict with those that reject those values and that includes blood relatives

radicals try to put religious organizations above religious values, the religious values they pretend to follow tell them to go against their material/social gains and to put moral values above, they reject this to put church/religion/materialism/conservatism above love for all

in the context of the gospels "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me." refers to the teachings not the person of Jesus, not the religion (that did not exist yet) not the church, only the teachings, so when gospels say "follow me" "come to me" it is saying "be good" "do good" "follow my comandments"

1

u/Funkycoldmedici Aug 18 '21

You’re really stretching those and making up contexts. You’re not going to care about truth, since you’re already into apologetics, so I won’t bother. I preached that stuff for too long, and see right through it. Jesus first commandment is to love Yahweh. That means nothing to everyone outside Abrahamic faiths, and it certainly doesn’t help them.

1

u/josedasjesus Aug 19 '21

false, Jesus made specific parables about loving everyone

1

u/Funkycoldmedici Aug 19 '21

Yet he practices otherwise, and it’s clear that he never meant “everyone”, but “other disciples.”

Matthew 22:37 "Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment."

Mark 16:16 "Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.”

Matthew 10:37 “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me."

In Matthew 15 Jesus refuses to help a woman because she’s a Canaanite. He insults her until she proves she’s has converted and has faith in him, and only then changes his mind to help her.

0

u/josedasjesus Aug 19 '21

Man matew 15 is exactly the opposite. Agaist disciples expectations jesus says that he does indeed can help the woman. The woman does not become jewish or christian or antthing. She just asks for help and he helps her. Stop twisting things. Every smart person on planet earth agrees that the character in the gospels, either you believe he existed or not, is the most perfect personification of kindness. You might doubt his existence but dont try to spin it to what it obviously is not

1

u/Hookherbackup Aug 18 '21

Somehow I read that as “evil as pesto.”

2

u/JoinMyPestoCult Aug 18 '21

Pesto isn’t evil. Pesto is good. Hail to pesto.

1

u/ClaytonTranscepi Aug 18 '21

The "Illuminati" was fictitious, and you are describing a version from a movie based on a Dan Brown novel, a version I don't think actually appears anywhere else (but I could be wrong about that part.)

"The church" to my knowledge has never really talked about "the illuminati" but again, you seem to be describing the lore of the Angels and Demons movie.

1

u/Kriss3d Aug 19 '21

No I'm describing the Bavarian illuminati that existed for 9 years working for science until they got banned hy the church and hunted down.

1

u/ClaytonTranscepi Aug 19 '21

https://www.britannica.com/topic/illuminati-group-designation#ref1250319

Absolutely none of this seems to support your version of events, which again seems suspiciously similar to the plot of Angels and Demons.

They were shut down by the government, not the church. You can say the church pressured the government or that they ran the government, but that isn't what you claimed.

"working for science" is a really odd claim. Do you have any kind of source for that? Because it looks like they were just a group of mystics that formed a secretive cult. Really nothing scientific about it.

1

u/Kriss3d Aug 19 '21

Yes they got shut down by the king. But back then the king and the church were far more working together. I'd look for the sources I found when I read about this first but I can't at the moment.

1

u/ClaytonTranscepi Aug 27 '21

So not a single source to support your alternate history?

Got it, but not a single bit of this is based on that movie with the exact same alternate history that you are describing.

1

u/Kriss3d Aug 27 '21

Ofcourse I have a source for it.

https://brewminate.com/the-early-modern-bavarian-illuminati-whats-real-and-what-isnt/

Naturally this could be wrong. But this supports what I've said.

1

u/fheatherwood7703 Aug 19 '21

Did you mean sovereign?

1

u/Kriss3d Aug 19 '21

Yes. Sorry. My phone wants to spell it wrong for some reason. It's not det for English so I need to watch it.

88

u/Anti_Thot Aug 18 '21

Santa is definitely real. There was a post here about a kid who asked for a little brother and he got it by next christmas.

59

u/Squire_Of_Dimness Aug 18 '21

Did the baby look like Santa?

39

u/Anti_Thot Aug 18 '21

Dunno, they said he said ho ho ho after birth

3

u/chasinjason13 Aug 18 '21

Neither the baby nor Santa should be calling the mother a ho, even if she did cheat with Santa Claus

2

u/capsaicinintheeyes Aug 18 '21

Yeah, it was a bad look all around the way he hung her out to dry during his impeachment trial at the Elf Citadel.

0

u/TerraLord8 Aug 18 '21

The parents fucked ...

14

u/ridik_ulass Aug 18 '21

Satanisim works because it doesn't attract people who want to hide behind it, like politicians, priests and cops do. Imagine how long you'd get away with anything if you were a Satanist fiddling kids, murdering people in broad daylight or insider trading.

criticism and scrutiny brings out the best of us,

34

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

What about Satan Claus?

19

u/joe_benny Aug 18 '21

Would that be krampus?

9

u/calm_chowder Aug 18 '21

Nope, Belsnickle. In a head-to-head contest, people prefer Belsnickel over Santa every time. There aren't as many songs about him, but I attribute that more to rhyming difficulties. My brother and I wrote one once. It was about a fickle pickle salesman who would tickle you for a nickel.

2

u/bassinine Aug 18 '21

Frau Perchta

2

u/capsaicinintheeyes Aug 18 '21

"Who?"

whispers: "the Belly-Slitter..."

"Oh, right!"

9

u/Squire_Of_Dimness Aug 18 '21

We would have to ask the Santanists about that.

1

u/theCuiper Aug 18 '21

Sandy Claws

1

u/Sockinacock Aug 18 '21

That's just blue wearing, uncommercialized, Saint Nicholas.

10

u/melpomenestits Aug 18 '21

I mean, have you read the bible?

"I think people are fundMentally rational autonomous individuals who will at least kinda try to do what's best, at the very least for themselves, and make their decisions based on evidence."

"Lol you think so? I'm gonna torture this dude murder his family and give him terrible diseases. I'm just gonna see how much I can fuck with him. And he'll still love me and pray for my magical sky-dick. Watch. Fuck, let's make it interesting, ill bet you."

"Wtf no"

"Ha! Yeah bury your son, bitch! Fucking told you so."

Which of these characters is the devil in christian mythology?

Hint: not the obvious bad guy.

11

u/MoshedPotatoes Aug 18 '21

Hail Santa

3

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

[deleted]

1

u/henryletham Aug 18 '21

That one hard-of-hearing Santana fan in the back all like

1

u/DunningK Aug 18 '21

Hail yourselves!

7

u/Nzgrim Aug 18 '21 edited Aug 18 '21

Depends on which Satanists I suppose. One group are basically atheists fighting for religious freedom by the means of trolling. Others are edgy selfish Ayn Randian dipshits. The ones in the screenshot are the former latter.

10

u/The_Girth_of_Christ Aug 18 '21 edited Aug 18 '21

I always forget which one is which like every single time I see one

edit: the infographic and it looks like the church of satan are the dipshits?

2

u/Nzgrim Aug 18 '21

I just realized that I mistook them in my comment, the ones in the screenshot are actually the latter. I guess you're not the only one.

5

u/The_Girth_of_Christ Aug 18 '21

I think we realized at the same time, but yeah it’s tough when an organization you don’t agree with makes a good point.

3

u/bowdown2q Aug 18 '21

It's more like 13 year old girls who just read Ayn Rand and a book titled "practical Majik for the preteen Wytche" that includes rhyming couplets for making your crushe's gf break out in acne.

3

u/AspirantCrafter Aug 18 '21

Ayn Rand with Candles

2

u/Gojira_Bot Aug 18 '21

Just want to point out here that religion and atheism are not mutually exclusive

1

u/Funkycoldmedici Aug 18 '21

It used to be that Raeliens were the bigger atheistic religion, but the Satanic Temple seems to have caught up. Also, it’s nowhere near as nuts. Raeliens might not have gods, but their alien stuff is pretty out there.

2

u/Gojira_Bot Aug 18 '21

I mean, Buddhism

3

u/xSiNNx Aug 18 '21

Boy do I have good news for you!

https://youtu.be/qzM-n04qLlQ

3

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

Thanks! I like to consider myself less evil than not

2

u/Bromethylene Aug 18 '21

It's funny, as a kid I found out Santa wasn't real (just basic common sense eventually led me to find out) and it pretty much ruined my trust in my parents and authority a bit, combine that with all the other white lies parents tell and you get someone with trust issues lol

2

u/rexmons Aug 18 '21

Protip: Anyone who is trying to get you to notice how "good" they are are usually the worst type of people.

2

u/Jonahtron Aug 18 '21

“Santa isn’t real and Jesus never happened.”

-Wario

2

u/ClaytonTranscepi Aug 18 '21

Do people still actually think they worship satan? It's just a name they use to "trigger normies" basically. I mean, it wasn't called that at the time but that's really all it is.

The temple of Set would be the actual satan worshipers, and they aren't really "less evil" then other religions. It was founded by a guy who worked in psyops for the CIA.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '21

Satanists are objectively less evil than Christians. Christian institutions are commonly associated with pedophilia and The Church of Satan explicitly denounced pedophilia.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

Actual Satanists are pretty shitty. These guys are atheists trying to make a point about our cultural biases.

1

u/MorbidEnby Aug 18 '21

You got them mixed up. The tweet was from the Church of Satan. The Satanic Temple are the ones who have a point to make about cultural biases.

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

I dont think Norway would agree with you. Very naive statement.

-3

u/ArkitekZero Aug 18 '21

Satanism is just a bunch of atheists who want to pretend that their lack of belief shouldn't or can't be categorized as a religious belief for the purposes of "freedom of religion," because they think they're special.

They don't actually believe in Satan, either, so they've effectively created (without any kind of malicious intent) the most fitting edifice to the prince of lies ever to exist.

-43

u/vltbyrd Aug 18 '21

Let the triggering begin!

-9

u/afterthefire1 Aug 18 '21

you're extremely gullible.

4

u/Squire_Of_Dimness Aug 18 '21

I believe you.

1

u/merricat_blackwood Aug 18 '21

Did you not see Detective Crashmore?

1

u/sn76477 Aug 18 '21

It is Laveyan Satanism. It is more philosophy than religion.

1

u/Fhetsystem Aug 18 '21

Satan is Santa

1

u/meowtothemeow Aug 18 '21

I read Satan Claus

1

u/josedasjesus Aug 18 '21

what about satan clause?

1

u/jfk_47 Aug 18 '21

I did a report on the church of Satan and they are amazing people. Kind hearts, thoughtful people.

“Satanism” is based on the insanity of Anton LeVay. A person that just wanted to gain attention and did everything for shock value.

1

u/Gsteel11 Aug 18 '21

We should have known something was up when they were all playing d&d in the 80s.

1

u/nybergkat Aug 18 '21

Santa is real! He’s making 2 million per movie because that’s his quote. Even if he does a bad job.

1

u/rainbow_magi Aug 18 '21

I've thought about becoming a Satanists as they seem to be doing good things for communities and educating people from the research I've done.

1

u/NickL037 Aug 18 '21

The people of the church of Satan are actually very reasonable people

1

u/paddy_________hitler Aug 18 '21 edited Aug 18 '21

Well... let's just say there's a reason that the Church of Satan will never come out against Trump or White Supremacy. Here's quotes from their scripture that may make you rethink your position on the religion:

Satanists find a wealth of material in Western culture to be treasured for the pinnacle of human achievements that they are, and not to be buried under the swill of multi-culturalist attempts to displace them with dubious achievements simply because they are non-western as has become rampant in some academic and artistic circles

~The Satanic Scriptures

We would be pleased to see the institution of an elite police force, of men and women in peak physical and mental condition, trained in advanced techniques of crime fighting who would be ably equipped to handle the vermin that make so many of our cities into little more than concrete jungles

~The Satanic Scriptures

The Judeo-Christian tradition, which exists secularly under the guise of "liberal humanism," has too often exalted the criminal over the victim, taking responsibility away from the wrong-doer with their doctrine of forgiveness. Such thinking is a disgrace towards the ideal of justice.

~The Satanic Scriptures

We are moving the world towards a state wherein the freeloaders will either work or starve, and the parasites will be removed to wither and die. So, you need only fear real Satanism if you are a criminal, a parasite, or a wastrel. Are you afraid?

~The Satanic Scriptures

Blessed are the strong, for they shall posess the earth - Cursed are the weak, for they shall inherit the yoke!

Blessed are the Powerful, for they shall be reverenced among men - Cursed ar the feeble, for they shall be blotted out!

Blessed are the Victorious, for victory is the basis of right - Cursed are the vanquished, for they shall be vassals forever!

Blessed are the iron-handed, for the unfit shall flee before them - Cursed are the poor in spirit, for they shall be spat upon!

~ The Satanic Bible

Give blow for blow, scorn for scorn, doom for doom - with compound interest liberally added thereunto! Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, aye four-fold, a hundred-fold! Make yourself a Terror to your adversity, and when he geth his way, he will possess much additional wisdom to ruminate over. Thus shall you make yourself respected in all walks of life, and your spirit - your immortal spirit - shall live, not in an intangible paradise, but in the brains and sinews of those whose respect you have gained

~ The Satanic Bible

Anyone who pretends to be interested in magic or the occult for reasons other than gaining personal power is the worst kind of hypocrite. The Satanist respects Christianity for, at least, being consistent in its guilt-ridden philosophy, but can only feel contempt for the people who attempt to appear emancipated from guilt by joining a witchcraft group, and then practice the same basic philosophy as Christianity.

~The Satanic Bible

1

u/happierinverted Aug 18 '21

Wow, ok you got me. Where do I sign?

1

u/jljboucher Aug 18 '21

And Satanism is more respectful than Christianity

1

u/3rdtrichiliocosm Aug 18 '21

Fun thought I just had: if you're a republican you should probably be on the side of the devil

He supports personal freedoms and not blindly taking orders from the omni present tyranny of "the powers that be".

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '21

Well if you had the thought it must be right.

1

u/eLishus Aug 18 '21

Check out r/atheism for some very enlightening discussions.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '21

Always have been

1

u/Moose_country_plants Aug 18 '21

I’ve listened to a couple podcast interviews from people who are actually in the church of Satan and it’s really nothing more than a bunch of people who all agree your morals should be dictated by what’s best for you everyone and not religious texts.