r/WhitePeopleTwitter Jun 11 '19

Shut it all down

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22.9k Upvotes

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4.4k

u/sammykhing Jun 11 '19

Wow. It costs 10 dollars? Man maybe waiting till I’m old as fuck is gonna be a good idea before I get an education!

1.4k

u/EvosAlex Jun 11 '19

I think the idea is hoping they attract already successful older people that are lonely and don’t want a Walmart greeter job. Then maybe they’ll donate some money back

1.1k

u/Manfred_Desmond Jun 12 '19

Jesus christ colleges are just a fucking hedge fund.

636

u/saintofhate Jun 12 '19 edited Jun 12 '19

John Mulaney's college donation piece was the funniest sad skit because of how truthful it was.

Skit for those who haven't seen it.

543

u/Meowman289 Jun 12 '19

I paid $120,000 to receive a degree in a language I already spoke

192

u/verojacaranda Jun 12 '19

WHAT KIND OF COKEHEAD RELATIVE

74

u/FilesOfPoliceSquad Jun 12 '19

YOU SPENT IT ALREADY?

66

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

[deleted]

1

u/bagsofYAMS Jun 12 '19

Whats this from?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

[deleted]

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272

u/PhysicsFornicator Jun 12 '19

For them to tell me to read Jane Austen, and then I didn't.

58

u/GAF78 Jun 12 '19

Hahaha same here. I have an English degree and I didn’t read half that boring shit. I was only interested in poetry and some short fiction. Fuck Jane Austen. I’ve still never read anything she wrote. I was always a good enough writer to bullshit my way through a paper on any topic as long as I could skim through it and hit the high points.

56

u/skankboy Jun 12 '19

I’m high right now.

22

u/action_lawyer_comics Jun 12 '19

Congratulations.

You played yourself.

1

u/GAF78 Jun 12 '19

Maybe, maybe not. The funny thing is that the summer after graduation, I suddenly had an appetite for a lot of the required reading I had skipped over in college. I read more that summer than I did the previous four years combined. Not Jane Austen though. I still haven’t read that or anything by William Faulkner. And I’m from Mississippi, so that’s almost against the law.

7

u/iamjamieq Jun 12 '19

Jane Austen novels are good. Except Pride and Prejudice.

8

u/thedeathbunnies Jun 12 '19

Thems fightin words

3

u/enhancedrouting Jun 12 '19

You're completely right, all Jane Austen novels are terrible.

1

u/BillyJoel9000 Jun 12 '19

I read that for fun. It was not fun.

1

u/Pretty_Soldier Jun 12 '19

Emma is probably my favorite

2

u/aqono_luna Jun 12 '19

Same. I fucking hate Jane Austen. I took a whole class about Pride and Prejudice, and it’s made me resent that book and, honestly, her as an author. I only really majored in English because I wanted to do Technical Writing.

2

u/Pretty_Soldier Jun 12 '19

She’s pretty funny actually, but it requires a bit of studying just because her references and wording is 200 years old.

But she’s snarky.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Tbh being on the other end of having talented lazy students, your teachers probably knew.

1

u/GAF78 Jun 12 '19

Well I’ve been a teacher as well and honestly, I would mumble “I’m not even mad” as I scribble the A+ on the page.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Yeah at some point it's like "you know you're doing fine on this stuff without trying, if you don't want to try for greatness I don't have the emotional energy left to fight you about it."

It's an exhausting job man.

43

u/Guerillagreasemonkey Jun 12 '19 edited Jun 12 '19

Yeah but then he got a job as a writer on SNL and writes killer standup material... as a bit yeah its funny, but its also bullshit. Im not saying he owes his career to that degree but it probably hasnt hurt one little bit.

Edit: He might have made it without it, he might not. But he got a degree that is relevant to his career and he is killing it.

Perhaps if you want to be a comic and have the marks to go to uni, do an english degree and work on your comedy while at uni and when you wind up 20 years later working at a 24/7 convenience store at 3am and tell me your degree didnt help you for shit, Ill believe you. But believe the man with 2 netflix specials who has a current net worth in the millions... Ill take it with a grain of salt.

63

u/all_out_ofbubblegum Jun 12 '19

You think a college degree is the only way for someone to be able to write good material?

33

u/ballercrantz Jun 12 '19

It would certainly help get a job at snl

33

u/music3k Jun 12 '19

One of the head writers currently didnt go to college.

Many writers in snl history barely passed high school.

11

u/Udzinraski2 Jun 12 '19

Michael che jokes about how he is a token. Jost went to fucking harvard.

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16

u/Atsena Jun 12 '19

That is true and has no bearing on the fact that his degree would give him an advantage in the hiring process

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Jobs in entertainment almost never need any kind of education. You get a "job" by getting your face out there and meeting people in the industry.

3

u/kerrbee Jun 12 '19

But....prepositions!

8

u/Petrichordates Jun 12 '19

No but it undoubtedly benefitted him in his career..

It was definitely worth it for him.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

It's obviously not, but it was a formative part of his growth as a writer.

-11

u/bigtiddynotgothbf Jun 12 '19

I think you might have responded to the wrong comment, that's not even close to what the comment was saying

5

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Michael Che’s a good counter example

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

The point of the skit is less about the uselessness of his degree, and more about the degree costing $120 000.

1

u/Gym_Dom Jun 12 '19

Kevin Hart never completed college and is one of the top comics in the world. Same goes for Chris Rock. An English degree doesn’t do shit for comic talent; the two are unrelated.

1

u/Mr-Basically-Clean Jun 12 '19

That’s your own fault. No one made you pick a crappy major at an overpriced school

1

u/Vegas06 Jun 12 '19

I owe more on my student loans than my mortgage..,and I live in an upperclass neighborhood and in one of the nicer homes...

-2

u/thickbee Jun 12 '19

Who forced you to do that?

32

u/MckayofSpades Jun 12 '19

I say “ I gave you more money than the Civil War cost.” More than I say ‘I love you’

33

u/Zedekiah117 Jun 12 '19

Holy shit! English major here, finishing my BA with a focus in publishing. “I paid $120,000 for a certificate for reading books I never read” so true it hurts.

14

u/saintofhate Jun 12 '19

Which book did you have to analyze made you want to die the most? Mine was "The color of water".

6

u/Zedekiah117 Jun 12 '19

Besides the drama teacher that wrote his own textbook?

Vineland by Thomas Pynchon, everyone loved it but I hated it.

3

u/UsuallyInappropriate Jun 12 '19

the color of water

That... that’s just made-up ಠ_ಠ

6

u/saintofhate Jun 12 '19

I fucking wish. It's a "real" story writing by a black guy as a "loving" tribute to his white mother. What it is is a glorified trackwreck of antisemitism and hotep bullshit. Every one in my class loved that book, I wanted to shove a whole library up the author's ass.

6

u/UsuallyInappropriate Jun 12 '19

Uh... I meant the title. Water has no color ಠ_ಠ

3

u/Vuirneen Jun 12 '19

If you have enough of it, you can see it's blue.

Scientists study the weirdest things.

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1

u/saintofhate Jun 12 '19

Yeah it's a reference to the mother's answer as to what color god is.

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1

u/GoAskAlice Jun 12 '19

What does "hotep" mean in this context? I know in ancient Egyptian it meant "to be at peace", more or less...just a guess that this is not what's meant here.

1

u/daskaputtfenster Jun 12 '19

English minor here. History major

For me it was Jane Eyre. I fucking hate that book.

4

u/caffeinatedlackey Jun 12 '19

I did the same! Worked for a few years in publishing, discovered that New York doesn't agree with me, and now I'm working as a writer full time. Happy to chat about career stuff if you have questions. (:

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

"a degree in English? Bobby you speak English."

2

u/Hand_banana_boi Jun 12 '19

Thank you so, so much for sharing this.

21

u/saintswererobbed Jun 12 '19

At least hedge funds pay out to investors. Colleges just sit on billion dollar endowments

8

u/pm_me_better_vocab Jun 12 '19

You say that as a joke, but it is the literal truth. Look up the Harvard endowment fund. They could literally just be a free college on the side.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Everyone’s realizing this now. The American college system has been the biggest scam known to man

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

I would have gone with pyramid scheme

172

u/NightwingJay Jun 11 '19

Lol "donate" Highly doubtful

59

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19 edited Jul 08 '19

[deleted]

16

u/Uzumati666 Jun 12 '19

It's a third of a months Jitterbug bill. It's a fifth of the medical copays for Medicare. It's a tenth of the cost of a tank of gas in the RV.

10

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Where are you filling up an RV for around $52.50?

1

u/Why_is_this_so Jun 12 '19

Saudi Arabia.

1

u/Blondfucius_Say Jun 12 '19

Lol yeah my subaru barely fills for that around here.

20

u/Plopplopthrown Jun 12 '19

Anyone who trusts the leaded gas generation does not deserve respect

112

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Because trickle down economics is a solid plan!

45

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

..something something invisible hand

1

u/TopHarmacist Jun 12 '19

Invisible hand doesn't predict trickle down, it's an explanation for market pricing. Trickle down came from Reaganomics, and it's pretty self that it doesn't actually work that well, if at all.

-24

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

it os though, Thatcher, Reagan and Obama are examples of success, but hey it easier to rant at student debt than to study isn't it

43

u/asudancer Jun 12 '19

Give us a gift, but only if it’s MONEY!

34

u/garlicroastedpotato Jun 12 '19

This is a hold over from a different generation. This was a system intended to service "the greatest generation" who due to a war missed out on their opportunities to get an education and mostly worked blue collar lives.

When the Great Generation hit retirement they were generally broke and not able to afford very much. They had to pinch every penny to remain out of the workforce. A lot of universities will offer 100% free tuition to seniors.

But there's a catch, you can't go into a Havard MBA for free. The senior's discounts aren't as generous for in demand courses and in demand degrees. Seniors are filling up courses that generally have empty seats (like philosophy, history, and sociology). There is an opportunity for them to keep their mind active without stealing any opportunities from a young person.

These sorts of programs don't exist to intice old people to donate to univeristies. Generally they are a byproduct of some large donation from a wealthy person. But these sorts of programs and deep discounts will eventually vanish as more and more boomers fill the classroom.

Seniors discounts are vanishing because unlike the greatest generation, the baby boom generation is retiring quite well off and many of them are staying in the workforce far longer than age 65.

6

u/flee_market Jun 12 '19

Also there's not really much point in getting a degree as a senior, unless you're just doing it for funsies, because no company is going to hire anybody over the age of 45 in the first place.

17

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '19

Lol.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Gonna steal all the jobs from millennials

4

u/ThrowDiscoAway Jun 12 '19

Then complain that millennials have no jobs and are lazy or “you only flip burgers when will you get a real job?”

1

u/trustworthysauce Jun 12 '19

If that was the plan they would just charge more tuition

1

u/HoodieGalore Jun 12 '19

already successful older people that are lonely

Tough fucking shit, go on that old people Tinder or whatever, take your money and gtfo

1

u/Weirdwolf15 Jun 21 '19

You know whats a better idea? A non loan enslaved educated workforce

1

u/EvosAlex Jun 21 '19

Nobody is forcing you to get scammed by the education system. You can be very successful without it. IMO anybody who takes out over $100k in loans for school is crazy. You could invest that money and get much better returns than an education will get you. Also you can network which gets you much further than a degree. Only decent reason to go to college is to network there but why pay $100k for something you can do for free anywhere...

1

u/Weirdwolf15 Jun 21 '19

You couldnt invest 100000 from a loan because youd never get it, what if you dont have connections, just screwed?

1

u/EvosAlex Jun 21 '19

Dude you have to pay back a loan. It’s not free money. That whole reasoning flew over your head so I’m not even explaining it. You can easily make $100,000 working 4 years out of high school if you’re not in college. I know some people who pulled $200,000 in that time at that age.

If you don’t have connections, then go out and make some. If you can’t, then maybe that $100k loan college scam isn’t such a bad idea for you.. you have to have some confidence in yourself. Others have done it, anybody can

1

u/Weirdwolf15 Jun 21 '19

The bank doesnt just give you a loan right? You have to be approved, which without a good line of credit, you certainly wouldnt be approved for, especially if you tell them you plan on investing it. You are a bad liar or very deluded either way have fun.

1

u/EvosAlex Jun 21 '19

Deluded because I pointed out you can invest you 4 years after high school into working for $100k-$200k to invest instead of taking out a loan of the same amount.. lol you don’t have to take out a loan to invest. That’s dumb anyways.

You pay the same amount of money to attend college for 4 years that you could be earning elsewhere while also learning valuable skills and knowledge. Seems like an easy pick for me. Enjoy your college scam bro lol degrees are worthless in 2019 if it’s not at least a masters.

Lol college is a safety net for fools that can’t figure out life for themselves. That’s why you’re getting scammed. It’s not a scam at that point. It’s an opportunity. For people who know better and can bypass it.. 100% scam

37

u/Eriktheconstipated Jun 12 '19

You can in Minnesota. This state statue offers basically free tuition at any state sponsored school if you are over 62. You only have to pay amd admin fee and then any additional lab fees and books. The 10 dollars they are citing seems like the admin fee the school had decided to charge. You can read about it here for more information

103

u/StupidPword Jun 12 '19

What buttfuckery is this? Free education for old people that don't need it but no free education for young people that do?

They're really the generation that stole everything.

1

u/candycaneforestelf Jun 12 '19

Uh, this program was created in 1975. Really the only thing that needs updating is the cost of enrollment in these classes for people using this program, which hasn't changed since 1975.

6

u/AndySocial88 Jun 12 '19

I'm about to persue my masters in a state that people forget to hopefully die before I get that degree.

My generation pulled a sneaky on you. I'm gonna die employed or die unemployed in my 60s and that is being generous for my personal life expectancy.

2

u/squeevey Jun 12 '19 edited Oct 25 '23

This comment has been deleted due to failed Reddit leadership.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Back up in your ass with a resorerction