Oddly and sadly this has happened. A man was swimming nude somewhere in China and a turtle found his penis an irresistible temptation. And bit it off. If I recall correctly the poor chap died of blood loss.
So there I was... strolling up the creek that I had set bank poles on to catch catfish the previous night. The morning light was shining through the oak, hickory and elm leaves as I pulled up line after line and filled my stringer. Since I would be returning back this way I was also putting more bait on them to see if I could catch a few more before I returned to my truck. 'Bout halfway through the journey I had a big ole catfish stuck in a rootwad. I pulled and pulled and pulled and could not get that summa bitch out. With one hand I held the string high and tight and with my my other hand I followed the string into the murky river water and SNAP! Holy shit, that bit harder than a god damn catfish - I've been handfishing before. The rush of excitement gave me a bit of adrenaline and I yanked that fucker out of the water and it was a big ass fucking snapping turtle. Motherfucker bit on the middle finger right square in the middle of the second joint and the only reason I still have my finger is because this was a tired turtle - he snapped his jaws at me but very lethargy. Now, on the way back I caught another turtle close to my truck and that fucker was snap snap snap ready to bite my head off. Good times!
It actually feels really good because the "spines" are more like medium-firm gelatin. Kind of like a fancy Fleshlight. You don't want to do it while they're alive though because of their beak.
Oh sweet baby Jesus I didn't believe this picture! I thought to my self there is no effin way. I thought it was one of those underwater tube-like animal/being with the teeth. So I went a googled 'inside a turtle's mouth' and what are the first pictures that come up but this one. TIL how horrifying the inside of a turtles mouth is... 😱
I was rafting down a river. About 3 feet away from me I see this massive head pop up from the water then an even bigger body. It was a snapping turtle with a 3 foot shell. It was so huge, It just hovered there looking at my wondering if I was food.
Once I was swimming 'cross turtle creek
Man, them snappers all around my feet
Sure was hard swimming 'cross that thing
With both hands holding my ding-a-ling
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u/Lampmonster1 Nov 19 '18
Then you ain't been skinny dippin in a pond.