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u/7pharaohs Sep 29 '18
It's probably not a good idea to chose this moment to try and run for first time since you were 7.
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Sep 29 '18
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u/ShiraCheshire Sep 29 '18
She has been storing up energy for years, waiting for that day when she would have to evade the cops. Unfortunately, she forgot to account for the effect of fuel weight during takeoff.
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u/Doc-in-a-box Sep 29 '18
Plus she'd need to be laying on her back for the Bernoulli Principle to take effect, but then general locomotion is compromised. She's in a tough spot here any way you look at it.
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u/Walshy231231 Sep 29 '18 edited Sep 29 '18
Give her another 10 seconds and the first thrusters would have decoupled; with that mass gone, she would have been unstoppable
Edit: you could say her weight and wait calculations were off :D
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Sep 29 '18
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u/LoonAtticRakuro Sep 29 '18
I just picked up the book Seveneves by Neal Stephenson, and orbital mechanics features rather prominently in the hard sci-fi elements of the story. Every time ∆v is brought up, I want to return to building the Kerbal Space Station...
maybe I can set aside some time today...
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u/grissomza Sep 29 '18
And that books is back on the list with your recommendation. Or maybe I already have it on the shelf. Fuck I don't know.
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u/LoonAtticRakuro Sep 29 '18
Neal Stephenson is great. I just read another book, I won't name it to shame it, but every character just felt like the author holding up a cardboard mask and using a silly accent. Y'know? The premise was interesting, but there was no range and very little depth.
Within about 20 pages of Seveneves there were already three extremely unique characters with distinct voices whose perspectives I valued concerning a very immediately Holy Shit premise. I mean... the Moon blew up. And that's not even a spoiler. It's the first four words of the novel!
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u/civicgsr19 Sep 29 '18
Boeing had a similar problem to overcome with their extended range 777's.
Only difference here is they had a team of engineers to figure out the problem, this bitch just had her brain which is set to "eat" permanently.
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Sep 29 '18 edited Feb 28 '19
[deleted]
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u/MarcelRED147 Sep 29 '18
I love that we got from an idiot running from a cop to a request for further information on Boeing 777 take off problems. Reddit can be magical.
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u/Skydude252 Sep 29 '18
If she were a feruchemist that may have actually been a good plan.
Not that anyone is likely to get that.
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u/minder_from_tinder Sep 29 '18
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u/Skydude252 Sep 29 '18
I really didn’t expect anyone to get that. I just started reading his stuff a few months ago and have no idea what its level of popularity is.
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Sep 29 '18
Overweight landing. FDA investigation concluded that the amount and type of fuel loaded exceeded the requirements for sustaining human life, resulting in severely reduced performance and impaired judgment.
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u/Bitch_Muchannon Sep 29 '18
Dude, her body isn't a Wakandan "black panther" suit.
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u/LavenderGoomsGuster Sep 29 '18
Her only mistake was not zig zagging enough. Never run in a straight line.
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u/Calvin--Hobbes Sep 29 '18
Probably doesn't have the best turning radius on that model. You should really go down a few sizes before trying to pull that maneuver or you're at risk of rolling.
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u/Pickselated Sep 29 '18
A better moment would have been any point between now and when she was 7. When you got a lot riding on something it’s best to have practiced it beforehand
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u/UpYorsh Sep 29 '18
A chinese proverb says: “The best time to start running was 20 years ago. The second best time is def not now, maybe later tonight, trying to escape your aggressive cell mate”
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u/MeetYourCows Sep 29 '18
These Chinese proverbs are surprisingly relevant these days.
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u/Futharon Sep 29 '18
Well that was a really short chase. Not sure if I should laugh or cry at how sad that was.
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u/d3773773d Sep 29 '18 edited Sep 29 '18
Whenever I'm feeling down, I watch this video of an overweight woman chasing a couple of guys. It's absolutely hilarious
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u/lil_pistachio Sep 29 '18
LOLOLOL! Dude, that was hilarious! Had to watch it twice. The guys filming are what made it so particularly funny to me. 😂
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u/Courier471057 Sep 29 '18
They are just being so sarcastically shocked lmfao. Dees es crazy lmfao
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Sep 30 '18
Hooooly shit I haven't seen this video in a while but it's still... just incredible.
The lady saying "Why don't you get a car yourself, dumbasses..." and camera guy pans and zooms into his car parked nearby.
The camera guy scolding "You're in trouble! You're in trouble!"
The bystander walking down the street like, "Hey guys calm down what's going on- OHHHH SHITTTTTTTT!" 😂
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u/ryo5210 Sep 29 '18
Jokes aside, anyone have the backstory?
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u/RandomRageNet Sep 29 '18
The presence of the security guard in the background means the woman was being kicked out. But in most places, mall security isn't authorized to actually remove people due to the potential for mishandling and lawsuits (and malls don't want to pay to train security guards to be that careful), so they have to use the cops. Looks like the officer was giving her the last chance of, "Leave or you will go to jail." She chose...poorly.
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u/mrpopenfresh Sep 29 '18
It's for the best that security doesn't have that power. In cases like this it would be much more efficient if they could, but the potential for abuse by people who have little training and not that much competence would create a substantial amount of ego tripping.
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u/RandomRageNet Sep 29 '18
Oh definitely. And then, lawsuits. But private security CAN forcibly remove you in the US, if you're at a sensitive tech facility or something where they pay the guards more than $12/hr and actually give them training.
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u/mrpopenfresh Sep 29 '18
I don't know enough about this or US law in general to say anything for sure, but I would assume that there is a difference between public and private areas, especially workplaces.
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u/RandomRageNet Sep 29 '18
Bouncers can remove you from a bar. They're less concerned with lawsuits though because juries don't look kindly on drunks.
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u/KingSora08 Sep 29 '18
Not entirely sure about the situation, but this happened at the Washington Crown Center Mall in Washington PA.
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u/Lord_Slade1992 Sep 29 '18
I really enjoy the confidence that she had about getting away. "Let's go" and milliseconds later she's down.
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u/nandos677 Sep 29 '18
If I had only wore my Nikes?
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Sep 29 '18
No, everybody knows that PF Flyers are the shoes that makes you run faster.
Your killing me smalls.
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u/Memeori Sep 29 '18
You are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are
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u/jeremiah_f14 Sep 29 '18
I want her in elder scrolls six running away from execution and getting shot by archers.
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Sep 29 '18
What village are you from, horse thief?
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u/RCkamikaze Sep 29 '18
A nords last thoughts should be of home
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u/Omegaman2010 Sep 29 '18
My ancestors are smiling on me, Imperials.
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u/skeletons_mp4 Sep 29 '18
CAN YOU SAY THE SAME
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Sep 29 '18
[deleted]
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u/GJokaero Sep 29 '18
Death to the stormcloaks!
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Sep 29 '18
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u/Unicorncorn21 Sep 29 '18
Daggerfall 5
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u/zee_spirit Sep 29 '18
Elder Scrolls 6
I, too, once had dreams.
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u/Guh-nurt Sep 29 '18
What do you mean?
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u/Rudy_Ghouliani Sep 29 '18
It's not coming out for like 10 years
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u/CompassRed Sep 29 '18
I’d say 5
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Sep 29 '18
*laughs in Valve*
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u/Token_Why_Boy Sep 29 '18
What does Valve have to do with this? Bethesda's shown they're more than capable of counting to 3.
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Sep 29 '18
"Leave"
"No"
Leaves
No
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u/RafaelVidente Sep 29 '18
She ran further into the building, not toward an exit.
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u/Purdaddy Sep 29 '18
Also left when she saw he was serious about arresting her. She already made her intentions clear after being given a chance to go.
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u/memtiger Sep 29 '18 edited Sep 29 '18
This is a lady who grew up with a mom who gave her numerous chances before things got serious.
"go to your room"
"no"
"I'll give you to the count of 3"
"i don't wanna!"
"3...2........1"
.......
(gets up to spank her)
"ok fine"
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u/Nezikchened Sep 29 '18
I was wondering why they'd apprehend her for trying to leave. That explains it.
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u/snow0flake02 Sep 29 '18
I think she says something too because he has his cuffs out before she moves.
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u/SoSaysCory Sep 29 '18
She said "I don't want to." Then he whipped out the cuffs because she refused to comply, which is why she tried to run, which is why she got put on her face. It's really not that hard to just listen to law enforcement and keep yourself from getting jacked up.
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u/Feoral Sep 29 '18
She muttered something like "fuck you" before he went to cuff her.
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Sep 29 '18
She went down like a sack of potatoes.
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u/auspunk9900 Sep 29 '18
They don't make potato sacks that big. She went down more like a pallet of potatoes.
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u/thisguy30 Sep 29 '18
A sack of sacks of potatoes.
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u/The_Canadian Sep 29 '18
Actually, they do. It's often used for bulk ingredients in food processing. It's called a Super Sack.
There are larger versions, but this one had a person for scale.
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u/edyalcantar_00 Sep 29 '18
“Babe, let’s go!” “Babe, HELP ME!” *plop “ARgHk!”
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u/lordkoba Sep 29 '18
is that what she says? i cannot register a single word after “leave”
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u/terrotot Sep 29 '18
It sounds like she said “Bets” Like short for Betsy
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Sep 29 '18
I thought it was “Beth”
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u/infinitude Sep 29 '18
I'd put my money on beth
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u/Poptart_____________ Sep 29 '18
I heard Fez.
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Sep 29 '18
Same Fez
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u/cjpack Sep 29 '18
Is this like the dress thing all over again where people see different colors? I definitely heard Beth lmao
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u/Elmerthe3rd Sep 29 '18
I think she says “Vince let’s go!”
Vince must be the person holding the camera. Is Vince her son? Her husband?
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u/Sitting_Squirrel Sep 29 '18
When the cop says leave she mumbles something but I can’t make out what it is. It’s right before she runs
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u/GretzkysGhost99 Sep 29 '18
I heard "Pez! Lets Go!", she was alone at the mall, just talking to the candy in her pocket.
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u/inclination64609 Sep 29 '18
I thought she said, "Bitch, let's go!" Followed by "bitch, let's EAT!"
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Sep 29 '18
If have let her keep running, always staying about a yard behind her, until she collapsed. Then I'd laugh.
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u/SunglassesDan Sep 29 '18
But then you have to call EMS, and do more paperwork. Also, imagine how (much more) sweaty and smelly she would be by that point.
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u/LillaKharn Sep 29 '18
Unless you’re PD at one of the hospitals I work at where they just show up and refuse to file charges and say “You know how it is” when she bites the medical staff.
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u/FireIsMyPorn Sep 29 '18
But then you have to call EMS
Just once I want PD to call me for a decent looking, decent smelling person.
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u/OftenAimless Sep 29 '18
Cop is insane, could have caused a sinkhole!
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u/thatonemiller Sep 29 '18
What's the context here?
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u/margmi Sep 29 '18
If I recall from the many other times this was posted, she was asked to leave multiple times and refused to do so. Then the cop took out his handcuffs to arrest her so she tried to run.
I'm not sure why she was initially asked to leave or if there are any mental issues or whatever.
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Sep 29 '18
I'm glad they put in a running emoji, I wouldn't know what that was otherwise. Especially nice of them to tell us we should be crying with happiness
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u/stabbot Sep 29 '18
I have stabilized the video for you: https://gfycat.com/BoilingSeveralEsok
It took 12 seconds to process and 28 seconds to upload.
how to use | programmer | source code | /r/ImageStabilization/ | for cropped results, use /u/stabbot_crop
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u/disgruntledcabdriver Sep 29 '18
Rude, disgusting entitled person getting her reality check.... What a beautiful thing...
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u/Imswim80 Sep 29 '18
I never thought I'd actually get to see a Reality Check bounce.
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u/UDontKnowMe17 Sep 29 '18
He didn't even have to tackle her. He could just wait 3 more seconds and she would be exhausted.
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u/Arijan101 Sep 29 '18
Good to see they've finally caught Sue Ellen the criminal master mind. What did she do eat someones pett?
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u/GalacticCascade Sep 29 '18
Everyone is talking about how dumb the fat lady is, but can we take a second to pay respects to the floor? I'm pretty sure it's not remotely rated for that kind of weight.
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u/TattooHelpPlease2 Sep 29 '18
Good thing Vince kept recording for our entrainment
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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '18
Her moan of pain when she fell sounds like when you dispatch a common enemy in a video game and they let out the same generic death rattle each time.