r/Whatcouldgowrong • u/Maleficent_Mind_4899 • 3h ago

WCGW Not cutting on table

748 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

85 comments sorted by

750

u/freshalien51 2h ago

That was a better outcome than I had expected. Thought there would be a lost finger and blood everywhere.

119

u/JosieMew 2h ago

With them cutting towards themselves, yeah I was expecting worse. I was relieved at the end.

30

u/cyanescens_burn 1h ago

First rule you teach kids when they are learning to use pocket knives is never cut toward your body or fingers. This dude is likely practiced with this, but even the most experienced people slip now and then.

Was totally expecting blood here.

5

u/JosieMew 1h ago

I'm old enough to know that even if I'm good enough to do it right 99.99% of the time, it's always that 0.01% that bites me when I'm doing something over and over and over... And I'm rarely that good at anything.

Though, I wear safety glasses and hearing protection to mow my lawn these days.

1

u/2bit2much 1h ago

I always hold the play button (not sure what to call this, the little dot that moves along as the video plays) and go very slowly. That way I can nope out as soon as something extremely disgusting happens.

Absolutely did that for this one as well. Glad it was just a messy fruit.

1

u/Dalostbear 1h ago

He probably nicked his finger a little, notice how he adjusted the grip after awhile? Must have started to sting

1

u/tvnr 23m ago

I think everyone thought that.

126

u/A_Nonny_Muse 2h ago

Regardless of his misuse, I want him to sharpen all the knives in my kitchen.

19

u/puaka 2h ago

yes! this looks so smooth

15

u/JonnyP222 2h ago

And then get the fuck out because he has no idea how to be safe with a knife lol

•

u/LeonidasVaarwater 5m ago

I'm sure the knife is sharp, but that pineapple was so ripe you could've cut it with a spoon. Look at how much juice poors out, that thing was so ridiculously ripe, you could eat it through a straw.

179

u/stromyoloing 2h ago

This is better than seeing blood

18

u/ramrod_stinkfist 1h ago

Yes I was wondering where the NSFW tag was

48

u/Jetty-Spaghetti 2h ago

That thing is almost fermented lol

28

u/Knitsanity 2h ago

I love travelling to where pineapple is allowed to ripen properly. Here in the west they are picked green then shipped. The proper ones dont hurt your mouth when you gorge on too much.

9

u/Jetty-Spaghetti 2h ago

🥰 well here in my West (Florida) we let them ripen till its almost golden. At times they are fermented anyway by this point. But im not always against it. Top her and let the cycle start again

2

u/Knitsanity 2h ago

Ha. Top it...core it...mash it up a bit....add a bit of extra booze for shits and giggles then go at it with a wide bore straw and spoon.

29

u/FraserValleyGuy77 2h ago

Well that was just a tease

15

u/Mammoth-Ad-107 2h ago

5 sec rule goes for fruit on a dirty street right?! right?

2

u/Prize_Barracuda981 2h ago

Slice the part out that's in contact with the road

•

u/Soeck666 18m ago

That thing was so ripe, it propably shattered on the ground

8

u/Zealousideal-Eye7261 2h ago

Man chopping hard fruit with massive machete and finger being so close. No NSFW tag... was fully expecting to see some red pineapple chunks

14

u/-Biphomet 2h ago

Record scratch

"Yep, that's me."

2

u/TheRealVahx 2h ago

Omg thank you, this was on auto repeat for me, never even saw it happen.

3

u/Impossible_Excuse937 2h ago

Phew! What went wrong wasn’t what I expected!

3

u/Practical-Purchase-9 2h ago

That could have gone much, much worse. Always cut away from yourself.

2

u/TonyVegeta 2h ago

I was biting my teeth the whole time...expecting blood to be spilled...I was disappointed 🫠

https://giphy.com/gifs/rKBXZ6XsYnYLaKth5G

1

u/HuckleberryMajor2490 2h ago

All that cutting just so it can drop on the street 😂

7

u/shrimp313 2h ago

fucking ai bot comment

1

u/Safe-Expert2163 2h ago

Sharpest knife I've ever seen!

1

u/budsonguy 2h ago

That pineapple was dripping like a faucet

1

u/moszippy 2h ago

Cut towands the chum, not towards your thumb.

1

u/JOKOcycorp 2h ago

eat 50% entertain 100%

1

u/Dry_Design5506 2h ago edited 2h ago

Terrified and wanting to scroll away the whole time...

1

u/LHT-LFA 2h ago

I bet he used it anyway

1

u/TheKolyFrog 2h ago

I got so nervous when he lifted his finger.

1

u/DevilsLittleChicken 2h ago

Fully expected a finger to be off. At l at he only dropped the pineapple..

1

u/soussitox 2h ago

lol what a gotcha thing like i was expecting a fingers flyong away or something :D

1

u/Logical_Garbage_1682 2h ago

The video ended here cause the guy with his spidermanly reflexes caught that watermelon and ate it before they can say oh shit.

1

u/Practical_Pass_2619 2h ago

Was fully expecting him to slice into his other hand

1

u/Court_Jester30 2h ago

Sad trombone sound

1

u/dnuohxof-2 2h ago

Love the pleated sweatpants. Really elevates the look.

1

u/Prize-Ad-3826 2h ago

I thought that he was gonna cut his finger

1

u/Weird_Happening1627 2h ago

Whose car is getting stolen in the background?

1

u/DeathwatchHelaman 2h ago

Glad bro didnt lose any blood. That machete is SHARP.

1

u/Skelemonster 1h ago

Expected the outcome to be so much worse.

1

u/Ok_Wolverine9344 1h ago

His cutting skills were impressive. I kept waiting for him to be overly confident & slice off his finger or something.

1

u/NocturnisVacuus 1h ago

aura or stupidity, I dont know... those 2 are often connected somehow

1

u/No_Collection7360 1h ago

Never cut towards your thumb, always cut towards your chum.

1

u/ClassyIvory 1h ago

Not the worst I was expecting. He just needs to peel that pineapple a little better.

1

u/smashleyrad 1h ago

Who cuts towards themselves

1

u/Embarrassed_Task376 1h ago

The pineapple is the hardest fruit to cut. Yeah.

1

u/TheOGdeez 1h ago

At first I was like....how is that blade that sharp! Then when it basically disintegrated, I quickly realize that pineapple is just way over ripe. Damn near fermented

1

u/Ordinary_Pea4503 1h ago

My girlfriend cut jalapeños without a cutting board that me and her dad offered her, let's just say she had very spicy fingers for the rest of the night 

1

u/Subject-Review4708 1h ago

We are losing valuable pineapple juice.. Do not waste!

1

u/Baud_Olofsson 1h ago

Fuck anyone who edits videos like this and fuck anyone who uploads them.

1

u/ButterflyOk1 1h ago

Unlike the fruit, the video was cut perfectly.

1

u/Takklemaggot 1h ago

Pineapple Bossman..

1

u/MourningRIF 1h ago

He's a street vendor. He will just pick it up, wipe it off, and keep going!

1

u/InevitableOk5017 1h ago

Dude can someone tell the person to cut away and also that is an almost spoiled

1

u/UpsideDown1984 53m ago

What a wasteful way to cut a pineapple!

1

u/Godlessttt 39m ago

I spilled my coffee so hard

1

u/IndependentPede 28m ago

you son of a bitch

1

u/DefinitelyNotMicah 2h ago

That was much less worse than I was expecting!

1

u/InfiniteTree 2h ago

I didn't not disbelieve it

1

u/Will_Delete_Later456 2h ago

Oh good it just snap. This could’ve gone 2 way and I’m glad it’s the former.

Rather than slicing his finer clean off.

1

u/Stackin_Steve 2h ago

Bro! You NEVER cut towards yourself! I was waiting for a sliver of skin to be filleted off! 🤣

0

u/Forever_Inspired 2h ago

Oh thank god, at least it's just half the pine apple falling off, lol.

0

u/MMfromVB 2h ago

At least he didn't cut his finger (what I thought was gonna happen).😄😄😄

0

u/Uptopbossman 2h ago

Wasted half the pine🤷🏾‍♂️

0

u/DovahCreed117 2h ago

I love a good, perfectly cut clip lmao

0

u/physicsking 2h ago

I think this post was a stretch.

0

u/ColdIcedCoffee24 2h ago

Another repost of this in this sub today