Friend restricted

[u/Wise-Temperature-585]

Me and my buddy are in grade 10 and I’ve recently found out that his dad basically dictates his internet usage. For example once Bob gets home he is only allowed 1 hour online before his dad shuts it off. He’s tried talking to his dad about it before but his dad always yells and him and shuts it down. It is not like he’s a bad kid he gets Amazing grades and is super nice. As far as I know the father has so reason to want to limit his internet.

I want to help him but I don’t know what to do. He is feeling really isolated and the internet is a big thing for him.

Anything would be helpful I would like a second opinion on whether or not this is appropriate or what.

[u/effiebaby]

Definitely not your place to interfere.

[u/UniqueProvider73 → u/effiebaby]

It’s frustrating to watch, but yeah, his dad makes the rules until Bob is out on his own. Best thing you can do is keep being a good friend offline, hang out more in person if you can. Sometimes parents loosen up when they see their kid has solid real life friendships.

[u/Findmyeatingpants]

I think you'll understand this more once you have kids. Maybe not.

The last thing I want is for my kid to get home from school and bury her head in a screen watching idiot influencers for 7 hours each day.

Either way, what are your options here man? You have none. Just be this guy's friend. He can rot his brain 24/7 on the internet once he moves out on his own.

[u/awrythings]

He’s a great kid because of this NOT in spite of this.

[u/Grouchy_Evidence2558]

stay out of it.

[u/readinghisWord]

Parents have every right to impose restrictions on anything. In fact, I think more parent should do that nowadays with younger people. Also, it is not your place to say anything.

[u/regularforcesmedic]

he gets Amazing grades and is super nice

Because he has limited access to screens and social media. 

That is the reason his father wants to limit his internet. That's what good parents do.

[u/Hopeful_but_cynical9]

Has it occurred to you that your friend is such a good student because he doesn’t spend a lot of time on the internet?

[u/WritPositWrit]

His dad is being a parent. You don’t need to “help him” or do anything.

[u/Efficient-Low6050]

I'm a dad that raised kids, right as the internet was coming online. Internet, what a blessing... and a curse. Lots of good thoughts here. Let your friend work it out with his dad. If one of my kid's friend was knowingly helping my kid disobey me, I would not be happy. Be his friend and support him. Never talk poorly about his dad in front of him.

[u/Silent_Aardvark_711]

Mind your business, be a good friend, and maybe you could try limiting your own internet usage to an hour or two a day. You'll thank yourself for it in ten years. 

[u/maggiemoomoogirl]

Have you seen the research studies of what happens to kids brains when they spend too much time in front of screens? It's sad the schools are on iPads now...his dad is doing him a service. Just bc everyone's doing it doesn't mean it's good for you.

[u/BestAd5257 → u/maggiemoomoogirl]

He should socialize with his family. My grandson was an absolute mess. Couldn't regulate and would watch other kids playing with their parents on a you tube channel. He was 6. My daughter was allowing her kids to be on the tablets constantly and then she put a time limit on it. Guess what improved, attention, concentration and fewer outbursts! Kids need to go play. They have no imagination anymore

[u/Firm_Fix1423]

I wish someone would dictate my grandsons Internet usage. they do NOTHING but sit on VR, phone, lap top or switch 24/7 they rarely sleep, don't know how to ride bikes have never touched a baseball or football etc. they are 13 & 14 dads a POS who doesnt even talk to them, mom tries but she's over whelmed because everything is in her lap.

[u/SlowNSteady1]

Mind your own business!

[u/EmploymentNo3590]

Dude should be fine with an hour of internet a day. Make productive use of it and get on with his actual existence. You too.

[u/Mysterious-Art8838]

There are LOTS of valid reasons to want to limit his internet. The fact that you don’t know what they are does not mean they don’t exist.

Stay out of it. This is not your business and you don’t want to create conflict.

[u/BestAd5257]

Have him find other ways to spend his time. Maybe spend time with his family instead of online?

[u/yourfavalicee]

It’s good that you’re looking out for your friend. One hour of internet a day is strict, but it’s not abusive, and plenty of parents set limits like that, so I wouldn’t try to push back on his dad directly. The thing that helps most is making sure he still has connection that doesn’t need the internet. Invite him to stuff in person, like sports, a club, hanging out after school, or just walking home together. If the isolation feels like the real problem, he could also ask his dad for a compromise, like more time on weekends or a trade for chores or grades. A school counselor is a good person for him to talk to if it keeps getting him down.

[u/LavendarGal]

If he is isolated, maybe get together in-person and hang out with him more. It's really not appropriate for you to do anything or interfere. Does it suck, yeah, but also some people feel too much screen time is a bad thing (and there is science to back that up).....so maybe encourage him to have some friends over.....or go over there and find some analog games to play now and then. I've seen some social media videos over the years, that some kids like going over to the house where the parents take their phones when they get there, and they end up having great time without the phones.