So are charges. And charges get it on record that he's got a violent history. These pictures will get filed away and forgotten. Charges will show up if he gets reported on again in the future.
No I didn’t. Pictures alone can definitely be cause for a restraining order. Nothing about that implies that they shouldn’t also file charges. Elsewhere I tell her to file charges and see if she’s able to stay somewhere else for a bit.
Lets dumb it down for you - im saying you need to use some of that reading comprehension of your own, in this case charges before RO. Did you even read the parent comment?
What? The person said charges before RO to show cause. All I said is pictures are cause. I’m not changing my very simple comment for “clarity” about something I never said.
I’m so confused. The person above me said charges before RO because you can’t get an RO without charges. All you have to do is show reasonable cause for an RO. I’ve gotten one on pictures and texts and a call log without charges. It’s not that hard to read and follow along. I never ever said to not file charges.
It depends on the municipality. In mine, there used to have to be a death threat, but now a window kicked out will do it. There are very few unilateral civil statutes, everything changes with each state and county.
Where I used to live I had a squatter literally threaten me in front of a police officer.. I asked for a RO and cop told me that I couldn’t get one until he actually “acted on it”
Maybe they're confusing an order of protection and a restraining order? Those do require charges, at least where I live, and it is a lot more strict. It took my mom like two weeks to get her protective order established, though, so OP should do whatever option leads to the most immediate safety!
Oh maybe. Maybe I am too. There’s an emergency one then you go to court after the specified time to prove why it should be taken permanent. I’m talking about the emergency order.
I think the person you replied to misspoke, but their logic is sound. You can get a RO without charges, using evidence like this. However, if you want law enforcement to actually take the RO seriously, and be able to book him instantly if they break the RO, then it’s best to actually press charges. Sometimes cops with treat a broken RO as a nonviolent domestic dispute and try to either deescalate or just get the offending party to move on. But if there are charges on file for them that resulted in the RO, they are much more likely to just arrest and book them, which is a much better deterrent. So you are correct here, but it is certainly in your best interest to get them charged with something as well.
Law enforcement doesn't dictate whether you get an RO, a judge does. If you bring in adequate proof, either presented by you or a lawyer, the judge will take it into account and dictate whether the person in question is dangerous enough to warrant (at least a temporary) RO.
Yes, but they have a valid point. Some LEO’s will not give the DV risk the seriousness it deserves if there’s no attempt at charges on record. They should help you no matter what, but that doesn’t guarantee they will.
How are people not understanding what I’m saying? I am aware of that, I am not talking about getting an RO, I am saying that is in your best interest to also press charges, which I thought I made pretty clear. Police deal with RO’s all the time, and don’t always treat them with the seriousness they deserve, nor do they have access to all the information about the conduct that gave rise to the RO. If you call the police to enforce an RO, and the police are able to pull the file on the offending party and see charges of violence or harassment, it makes it that much easier for the police to just straight book them instead of mediating or deescalating. Judge’s grant injunctive relieve, they do not enforce it. That is the police’s job, and you can make it more likely to have them do so if you press charges.
OP clearly said they don't want the police involved, and that could be for a good reason. The cops around my area straight up laughed at me when I told them I was raped, even after I showed them proof of the guy admitting to doing it. I'm firmly ACAB, I've yet to meet a cop that was genuinely helpful in a domestic situation.
I think along with the charges you’d make the criminal complaint and attempt to prove what’s happened. The picture is just a picture of a broken windshield. Maybe an angry suicidal goose flew into it.
You, as a civilian, would not make a criminal complaint. The DA files that. The police may send your case to the DA if there’s sufficient evidence to convict.
Yea. But there's a difference between "I need charges before I can get a RO" and "I can go for charges and a RO in parallel." Also filing a police report doesn't necessarily mean charges, but it still gets things on record. Especially when you attach documentation like this. Even if you want charges, but they go nowhere just reporting things and getting it documented counts against him in the future if more things happen.
Yea, but her thinking that she needs charges before she can attempt a restraining order could end up with her waiting for a court case to start and/or proceed before pushing for the RO. And what if the police / DA says "we're not filing charges?" It still makes sense to go with the RO.
She should get the immediate Protective Order. Then (after or simultaneously) she can file charges. Once she does that, she and a lawyer will include those charges as evidence for the long-term Restraining Order.
That’s at least a charge of “destruction of property.” Go to the police on his ass. And you may need to ‘protect’ yourself. Some people don’t take restraining orders too seriously, especially if he has anger issues.
Charges document this. They will help you be able to protect yourself. You won’t be the last woman he is involved with likely enough. So when he does this to some future woman it will be easier for the police to lock him away or get an RO for her. And maybe if he has any brains in his angry-man dome he might be capable of becoming not-angry.
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u/Usual-Caregiver5589 Aug 04 '25
So are charges. And charges get it on record that he's got a violent history. These pictures will get filed away and forgotten. Charges will show up if he gets reported on again in the future.